About a year ago I heard MIL telling someone that she "raised" my son. Prickles went up everywhere for me, but I bit my tongue (but did come rant here just to get it off my chest.) I realize she watched him for us and that she was a HUGE part of his life, but to hear it like that just rankled. Well, last night we were out to dinner with MIL and one of her friends who was visiting her. She said, "well, you know I was with X more than anyone at that age." OK...this time it was a GOOD thing we were heading out the door so I could rant in the car to myself (DH was driving in the other car with them).... Later DH said that her memory is inaccurate, but he just got annoyed by that statement because she remembers everything the way she wants to remember it - forget accuracy. I got annoyed because a. it's not true and b. I think it's saying I wasn't there for my son growing up... and c. I tried REALLY HARD to be there as much as possible for him and this makes me feel like it wasn't enough. So, to myself I was mumbling.. I stayed home with him the first year and at the age she was talking about I worked a door away from where she watched him, so most days I saw him when he wanted to show me something or I stepped back into the house, etc.. I worked only 6 hours a day 10-4 and during that time I had an hour lunch from noon to 1 pm where she would have lunch with us, so we were both with him and I was parent. So... she spent 5 hours with him a day of awake time alone and I spent 9 hours with him of awake time M-F. I always watched him on weekends... So total for the week for her is 30 hours of awake time alone and total for me was 45 hours M-F and with weekends added in 73 hours of awake time. This was my raging last night... so after I raged I said to myself, "Ok melissa, but she was a big part of his life and what does it hurt that she remembers it as "most of his life"... if it makes her feel more important, if it makes her feel good... what good does it do to burst her bubble? You know the truth and that's all that really matters.... who cares if she tells her friends othewise - what do they matter to me? I was so proud of myself for being able to talk myself down from my 'angry' spot in 30 minutes or less! All I feel now is that I think all her memories are somewhat jaded/misremembered which DH has been telling me forever.... So... I'll just smile and take all the stories with a grain of salt... I don't think she's as perfect as she remembers herself being.