MIL Horror Please Help

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  1. Hi everyone.i know i have written about my crazy MIL before.. things have gotten so bad I truly need advise.

    I believe in being positive and I do not like to fight with people. So for every time she has said mean, sickening things to me, i have just ignored her, changed the subject ect.

    but it is getting so much worse. I feel she is on a mission to get me to get me to attack her back so she can say " see i was rite, she is a mean person"
    and i feel in this way she will feel like she has won

    she is a sick sick person. says horrible things and has an extremely neg outlook on life and people, with this she has a superior attitude..she has even told me she is superior to others (that was yesterday)

    now she has just told me she will not attend my shower that i'm throwing for my sister..along with this was a whole disgusting put down to me...i didnt really say anything..i said..well if u dont want to come thats fine...

    and she kept at it, bc I know, she wanted to make me cry. and i wanted to..i am crying now honestly bc i am so hurt..i want to say i dont know what i ever did to deserve this...i never had a mom and i dreamed to one day and to have much evil..

    but i didnt cry and i just kept saying thats fine and i kept my cool and then i changed the subject but
    i dont know what to do

    i am going about this in the rite way? should i say something? should i get mad and let her have it? Idk..

    i do know this I am going to throw the most fabulous shower and when she wants to come bc i know she will when she hears where I'm going to have it....i will say she cant bc everything is already booked and paid for...something like well really is the best revenge, i guess..what do you guys think? any help would be greatly appreciated thx for letting me vent too:heart:
    she is such a fake, she is only nice to me or people when they have something she wants or who she thinks is rich, like when i have my shower at this special venue she will want to come bc she will want to "rub elbows" at such a fancy place or to tell her friends where she was she is just blantantly gross..

    i dont want to even be polite to her anymore..idk how i should treat her..idk what to do..

    I still cannot get past her telling me several times not to have children

    on top of it all she is just so unattractive and goes on & on about how gorgeous she is and what great style she has and believe me she does not
  2. Its probably best that she doesn't come to your sisters shower, as it sounds like she would only spoil the day for you.
  3. If this is happening, your husband needs to step up and deal with this Zilla. This is abuse and she is obviously doing it because she CAN.
  4. ITA with Roo.

    DH needs to step in, it's his mother and you are his wife after all.

    Sorry you are having such a tough time.
  5. It is best the she does not attend the party. Since she already said that she does not want to go, then just be discreet, get on with the party without her making a big fuss of being left out or whatever. I have seen soooo many marriages fail because of inlaws or do we call them outlaws??? What is important is that your husband will not be put in the situation where he is made to choose between you or your MIL, because whether he chooses your side or you MIL's side, it will just add tension between you and your DH. It is best that you stay away from MIL and hopefully your DH can understand that with regards to you and your MIL's rocky relationship, the best way is Out of sight, out of mind. Good luck and I hope for the best.
  6. Sorry she is being this way. But you seem like such a nice person and a great sister too (the shower sounds so exciting). You are right to focus on the positive. Hang in there. I wish I had some advice but I have a tough time with difficult people too.
  7. She really has no business being at your sister's shower. I would not tell her any information on it at all, keep her away. This is your sister's day and you are planning a wonderful event. It is something you sister will look back at and think how lucky she is to have you as a sister. The last thing both of you need is to have your MIL cause drama and ruin the day, that would be the worst thing for both of you. My friend has a MIL from hell and when her MIL starts up she doesn't reply, does not say a work, without a reply the MIL can't keep up the verbal abuse. And if others are around it makes the MIL look crazy. So maybe if you give your mother in law the silent treatment it will drive her crazy and give you some peace. Another friend just agrees with what ever negative comment people give her. She usually says "oh, you are so right", this stops people in their tracks because they can't add more, she is saying it with a slight attitude and it is quite funny to see other people's reaction.
  8. I agree with Roo~ your DH needs to stop this in it's tracks. Trust me, I have the crowned princess of whackjob MIL's! I got so fed up with her, I just shut her off. I don't respond to her, don't think of her, don't look at her. I'm much happier that way:smile: & it's driving her nuts~

    Yes, she is trying to get to you. Ignore her, that's the best revenge.. you have to treat this as if you're dealing with a 3 year old. Do not react to her bad behavior (as hard as that is sometimes) And again, your husband has a responsibility to you to speak with his mom. If he doesn't, then I'm afraid this problem goes much deeper. Best of luck to you!
  9. Doesn't your MIL live on the same road as you or do I have you confused with someone else?

    Like others have said tell your DH to see if he can talk to her to tell her to shut it. If he won't tell her or it doesn't work whenever she starts to insult you try and end the conversation with a few short words like 'ok' and leave her presence like you need to go to the bathroom or do something so she doesn't get the chance to say anything else. If you're paralysed in her presence you've got to think of some strategies to be able to remove yourself.

    Also, if you can leave her out of the shower that will make the shower much more enjoyable.
  10. I also have written about my terrible MIL and totally sympathize with you. My advice is try and be strong with your head up. Go and make the most beautiful shower. It will be her loss. It will be a great day without her there to ruin it. I strongly suggest don't get your DH involved. He will see her for her true colors in his own time. Now after 10 1/2 yrs of marriage, my DH hates his mother more than me, and the best part is becuase I bit my tongue, he saw it all on his own! Jealousy rears its head in many ugly ways, don't let it affect the person that you are. Be strong...
  11. I totally agree, with BOTH points... tell you DH how much this is getting to you and hurting you.. and if he tries to pull any garbage like youre being too sensitive, tell him that youre his wife and he has to respect your emotions and his mother is emotionally crippling to you!

    Also, if she pulls any of this when DH is around, make sure he puts her in her place, there is no reason that she is abusing you like that! Youre not a doormat!
  12. ITA all around: no need for MIL to ruin your shower so good she can't come. DH needs to put her in her place for your marriage's sake.

  13. I send hugs to you too.

    You are doing a great thing by holding your tongue, even though it is so hard. You are right, she wants you to crack. HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH. I also agree that in time, your DH will see.

    DON'T TELL HER WHERE THE SHOWER IS. Until it's over, that is. :drinkup:

    I wish the best of luck to you!! You will get through this. The only other thing I want you to said that she is encouraging you NOT to have children, right? Have a baby. Have 10 babies. And make sure she's not there for any of their births. She will do a shift on you...she will think you had your babies for her.
    Just be careful of that have many challenges ahead of you, but be the better woman. You can do this!!

  14. i think this is great advice. why did you even invite her to your sister's shower? since she is just giving you abuse, stop even acknowledging her. you don't deserve that, you are a nice person but she understands that she can treat you this way - and that is not right. don't cry, just stop caring, don't even talk to her. a person that tells another person she shouldn't have children has lost the right to polite conversation, IMO

    enjoy the party for your sis!
  15. PrincessMe,

    i think you're doing the right thing. don't let her get to you, and act cool. better for her not to come to your sis' shower and she relaly has no business to be there.

    it's probably very very hard not to just scream at this monster but it's much better if you can to ignore her. and i agree that your husband should tell her off and tell her to watch what she says and how she behaves as well.