Messy = not valuing one's possessions

IntlSet

IntlSet

Bonjour!
Jan 29, 2006
12,369
63
#1
I must have residual guilt from when I was a little girl and my parents always told me that the fact I had my toys strewn everywhere was a sign that I don't value my belongings.

I'm beginning to think that's the truth. My Jimmy Choos are literally strewn under my dusty couch and have been there so long I'd forgotten I even owned them, my Chanel bags are lucky if they ever see the inside of a dustbag, and I trample over expensive clothes. I treat costly items and cheap items the same, which is pretty poorly.

I've gone through phases of being neat, but ultimately, I find that I'm just a messy person and this really BOTHERS me. Not only do I dislike cleaning, but I also work like an i-banker which makes finding the time very tough! I am very, very bothered by this personality trait. Am I totally overreacting? Should I just embrace my inner messy spirit? I really want to be someone who values my possessions but I've always had the philosophy that no matter what, it's all just stuff!

Anyway. Wow, where was I going with this? Share comments and thoughts! Maybe some of you feel the same or can convince me to see the light!!!
 
#2
Yeah I cant convince you to change or anything Im the EXACT same way! My boyfriend cant get over the fact that I treat 20$ bags the same way I treat my LVs...ive always been this way and my parents used to same the same thing...I tink ive just gotten over it because it used to bother me too and Ive just accepted the stuff that I just see everything as EQUAL STUFF ...lol hope you feel better because youre not alone:smile:
 
#3
for me it depends on the item, but in general I really do take care bec it is stuff that cost me a lot of money, and someone else could possibly feed their family for it. thus, in my mind at least I should appreciate what I have - but that isn't supposed to be some guilt-trip. just my reasoning for why I should take care of my stuff. also, I buy things as an investment, i.e. to last me a few years. one of my Chanel bags hasn't seen the outside world yet, (well once) because it is timeless, so I am keeping it for the time when I have to pay college bills of my kids and can't afford fancy purses... just my reasoning.

so yes, ultimately I think it is important to take care of your things - although I agree that it is just 'stuff' in the end. but I also think that if that is what you really feel and think, stick with it.
 
#4
Some people are born to be messies and no matter what they will not change. I am married to one....Try as I might he just doesn't care. What amazes me is he is OCD in keeping his cars and garden spotless and clean.
 
#5
I think you are absolutely right. My dad always tells me that if people don't work for what they get, they don't appreciate it, which is very similar to what you are saying. I have to admit that I suffer from this as well. I am as messy as they come, but I am trying to cut down on it. I want to keep the house a little cleaner, and get rid of all of the possessions I really don't care about. Maybe it's a maturity thing? If you really want to change, you will. :smile:
 
#6
I don't think you don't value your possesions if you are messy, I think that is just your nature. Some people like things to be neat and orderly, but I'm not one of them.
 
#7
I'm the same as well, theres H everywhere. I was particularly concerned one day when all of my birkins were out of the boxes and my boyfriend had thrown a shirt on one of them. I trip over expensive shoes all the time, not to mention have like six brand new laptops just EVERYWHERE, I'm surprised someone hasn't stepped on one of them.

I think its just my personality, although I think it does show a lack of value as well. If I had to buy any of this stuff on my own and knew I couldn't just replace it tomorrow, maybe I would take better care of things. Its sad, but thats just the way I was raised. I'm hoping to grow out of it sometime soon, since I've moved out and would like to stand on my own two feet in the near future.
 
#8
Oh, pish-tosh!

Messiness is the sign of a complex person who enjoys an inner life of such depth and scope that petty concerns like the physical alignment of objects in one's immediate environment are simply not on the radar guest list.

Neat people might have the capacity for an inner life every bit as fabulous, but they are repressing it due to low-grade but annoying neuroses. We should be nice to them and try to help them. If we can't convince them to stop repressing, the least we can do is take the time to drop some things so that they can receive their perceived vague psychological benefit from picking them up and putting them somewhere so that we won't be able to find them when we need them, and we will have to ask them where in the world they put them, and that helps them to know that they are needed, even despite their unfortunate condition.
 
#9
ShimmaPuff said:
Oh, pish-tosh!

Messiness is the sign of a complex person who enjoys an inner life of such depth and scope that petty concerns like the physical alignment of objects in one's immediate environment are simply not on the radar guest list.

Neat people might have the capacity for an inner life every bit as fabulous, but they are repressing it due to low-grade but annoying neuroses. We should be nice to them and try to help them. If we can't convince them to stop repressing, the least we can do is take the time to drop some things so that they can receive their perceived vague psychological benefit from picking them up and putting them somewhere so that we won't be able to find them when we need them, and we will have to ask them where in the world they put them, and that helps them to know that they are needed, even despite their unfortunate condition.
Click to expand...

Scott, how long have you been impersonating a girl named Shimma-Puff on my favorite forum???

Now get off the computer and help me tidy up this mess:yes:
 
#10
ShimmaPuff said:
Oh, pish-tosh!

Messiness is the sign of a complex person who enjoys an inner life of such depth and scope that petty concerns like the physical alignment of objects in one's immediate environment are simply not on the radar guest list.

Neat people might have the capacity for an inner life every bit as fabulous, but they are repressing it due to low-grade but annoying neuroses. We should be nice to them and try to help them. If we can't convince them to stop repressing, the least we can do is take the time to drop some things so that they can receive their perceived vague psychological benefit from picking them up and putting them somewhere so that we won't be able to find them when we need them, and we will have to ask them where in the world they put them, and that helps them to know that they are needed, even despite their unfortunate condition.
Click to expand...


As I sit in my mess, I couldn't agree more! :P
 
#11
I'm a messy person but my closet is the most OCD thing ever. I take immacuate care of my clothes, shoes and jewelry. The rest of my apartment--hahahahaha. How I've eliminated some of my outside-closet mess is to get rid of things. If I can't figure out how to put it away somewhere or am always using it I don't need it. I've also prohibited relatives from giving me anything except artwork and antique furniture.
 
#13
I'm the worst - a relative neat freak who hates cleaning. Solution? Cleaning service! I can do my own laundry and pick up my clothes/shoes thankyouverymuch but for keeping things dusted, scrubbed, polished and vacuumed I need help.

As far as clothes/shoes/bags strewn all over...clutter literally gives me a headache so it doesn't work for me, JMHO. We don't live in a catalogue, but I do take pride in having things somewhat straightened up, hung up and organized. I can't tell you how much time this saves me in the morning.

You're right, it IS just stuff in the end.
 
#14
I'm a neat freak married to a messy pack rat. He has actually gotten me to loosen up and I have actually taught him some organization tricks. Does your messiness give you anxiety? If so hire one of those consultants to organize you. (I wish I lived closer to you cause I'd love to go through your cool stuff and help you organize!) otherwise, if you're not bothered by it - I see no problem cause you are right, its just stuff.
 
#15
I'm sort of borderline messy. I take care of my nicer bags by putting them in dustbags but it's not always the right dustbag for the right bag. I put them on a shelf in my closet but they are all sort of shoved up there.

I really don't like to clean up but I try to be neat. Every so often I'll clean up some but my apartment is never perfectly neat. I just have so many other things to do and honestly I don't care quite that much.

I say do what makes you happy. Who really cares?

My ex used to say pretty girls were usually the messiest so I think about that when things get really messy and it makes me feel better.
 
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