Workplace Meet this person for coffee or not?

lorihmatthews

A taste for the arts
O.G.
Oct 7, 2006
31,834
7,186
San Francisco
I was a contractor with my current company for years and finally went full time last fall. I had to apply on the company job site like everyone else and go through a regular interview process before I was given an offer.

My last contract prior to going full time was extremely stressful for me. I had to hand over one of my projects to a new contractor prior to leaving. She apparently didn't like the way I managed it, and complained to my then boss, other coworkers, and sent out an email when she was going to take it over to the entire team, saying something like she was "committed to getting things back on track." So basically she threw me under the bus. At that point I didn't care, because I was just so happy to leave. This was last summer.

Out of the blue, she sent me a very upbeat email on Friday, asking me how I was and if I wanted to go out for coffee. I'm guessing that her contract is ending soon and she's fishing around for new opportunities. Or she's possibly looking for a reference. Or both.

I'd like to think she's going to apologize for her bad behavior, but I doubt that will happen. I know my department doesn't have any openings, and even if they did, I wouldn't recommend her.

Do I meet her for coffee or blow her off? She didn't specify the reason for the meet in the email.
 

leechiyong

Member
Sep 3, 2013
10,505
14,269
I'd politely decline citing schedule (it's not her business what's scheduled in its place). I wouldn't burn the bridge if I didn't have to, but I would not want to take the time to meet.
 

Stansy

O.G.
Jul 7, 2009
4,120
4,768
Save water and drink Champagne!
I would send a polite email declining her question with something along the line of not mixing business life and private life. That way you make clear that you have no business issues to discuss with her and you don´t want to socialize either.
 

dorcast

O.G.
Jan 1, 2006
1,650
474
I'd politely decline citing schedule (it's not her business what's scheduled in its place). I wouldn't burn the bridge if I didn't have to, but I would not want to take the time to meet.
This.
I wouldn't meet with her, nor would I come up with an elaborate reason why not, but I also wouldn't bother confronting her. She clearly isn't trustworthy, and your paths may cross again professionally. Don't burn the bridge completely, and give her any ammunition for a future back stabbing.
 

redney

Lovin' Life!
O.G.
Apr 21, 2006
14,038
5,393
Nope. My bet is also to network into another contract, and not to apologize. She's shady and untrustworthy - not worthy of your time!
 

lorihmatthews

A taste for the arts
O.G.
Oct 7, 2006
31,834
7,186
San Francisco
Thanks everyone for your responses. I said I couldn't meet this week and asked her what she needed. Her response:

I wanted to talk to you about job opportunities – my contract may be ending sooner as planned I’m doing as much networking as possible and your name came to mind that someone who made the switch to FTE.

Thankfully, I have no opportunities for her, and I'll tell her that.
 

lorihmatthews

A taste for the arts
O.G.
Oct 7, 2006
31,834
7,186
San Francisco
Well I wrote her a very thoughtful, 3 paragraph email about what worked for me and how I got my job. I did not suggest a time to meet for coffee. This was her response:

Ok thanks.