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  1. I posted a pic of my then 16 yr old daughters messy pigsty of a room in here. Well, the child has evolved from messy child to messy adult. She is 18 now. Thing is she has a boyfirned she has been seeing for a while. He is 31 GASP. Nice guy, threats her like gold but I kind of shriek inwardly when I think about the age difference.
    There is such a huge group of diverse people here, what do you think about the age difference. Part of me doesn't care but that other part...well, methinks she should go out with someone her own age
    Opins please:shrugs:
  2. I think I would freak if my daughter was 18 and had a boyfriend that age, but what can you do? When I was 18 I met my future husband and he was 25, so that was 7 years older and my parents were so against him. They did everything to try to mess us up. I mean I was grounded if I was one minute late and they just didn't like him. 2 years later I married him the day after I turned 20 and we will be married for 28 years this summer. We have two wonderful children age 10 and 7---so things worked out for us.
    I myself think at the age of 18 she should be dating someone more her age, but I dated guys my age before I met my husband and knew the night I met my husband that I was going to marry him.
  3. I admit, I do think he's a bit old for her BUT she is "technically" an adult at this stage (although I still think of it as a teenager..) I think if you say anything, she'll only end up mad at you about it. Give it a little time, I'm betting the relationship will run it's course & she'll end up going back with someone closer to her age. I find it surprising that a 31 year old finds that much in common with an 18 year old.

    When I was 22, I dated a guy that was 31. Not a huge age gap but it drove my parents insane! My dad gave me his opinion on it & we ended up having a fight. In the end, we did break up & I went back to guys closer to my age. Thank God, he ended up being such a loser:p

    Live & learn I guess!
  4. I would be having a heart attack! While my parents have a 12 year dif. my mon was 27 when they started going out...imo big dif between 18 and 27.
  5. for some reason I find the age difference frightening and unhealthy no matter how well he treats her
  6. How did she meet him?
  7. ^^I totally agree. She is only 18. Even though she may not listen to you, I would tell her that it may be unhealthy for someone so young to be with someone almost her dad's age!
  8. I meant I agree with Alvie223 =)
  9. if he treats her like gold

    i would not say anything, but be supportive and let her know that you'd be there for her in case she runs into any problems or any questions that might come up.

    i remember being that age, not so long ago, and falling for someone around that age, a bit younger. but the age difference was there.

    i learned my lesson on my own and it was nice not to have people or family members constantly questioning. worrying yes. but not questioning.

    that's IMO.

    she'll learn soon enough that they're in two different places, and two sets of different friends.

    not to mention he cannot bring her to bars, another problem i encountered!

    hang in there.

    18 is too young to have anything written in stone but if so maybe it's one of those cases where it's meant to be.

    haha. i'm going to stop blabbering!
  10. I have a 20 year old this stuff isn't easy. Can't tell them what to do and just hope the begin to see the light!
  11. I agree.

    A 13-year age difference is fine if the 2 people involved were BOTH well into adulthood - e.g., the woman is 33 and the man is 46.

    What is age-appropriate for an 18-year-old girl is someone who is around the same age as her, or someone who is in their early-20's, or 1 to 2 years younger than her.

    Lorri-G, I think that if you're not comfortable with the relationship, you should consider having a heart-to-heart talk with her about it.
  12. i understand your concern.
  13. Hi Lorri! Its nice to see you again.
    Its a difficult position to be in, of course you only want her happiness, and some people say that age makes no difference. But she is still so young even if she is technically an adult. I would want to sit down and talk with her about it.
  14. I do understand your worries but isn't he better than a 18 year old jackass who doesn't treat her right? When I was 18 my first big love was 29 at that time, we met while I was an exchange student in Costa Rica and he was dong an internship there as a doctor at the local hospital. He had huge problems with the age difference in the beginning but that faded over time. When I went back to Germany after a year he did so, too to his city where he lived before. We were together for almost a year and sadly our relationship didn't survive the long distance thing in Germany even though we had plans that after me finishing my college of moving in together in his city but after 3 months later I broke up because he wanted get serious (engangement) and I wasn't ready for it at that time. We still have contact once in a while and sometimes I'm kicking myself to have let this guy go but on the other hand I wouldn't have met my DH 4 years later. I think you're doing it right being supportive and there when she needs you. Don't worry about the age difference, it's just a number.
  15. Well, I guess I can chime in on this. I'm 31 and my gf is 19. I'm also a father of an 11 year old, so I can see things from a parental side as well. I didn't go out looking for someone so young, she literally just hopped in front of me one night while I was dancing alone, and started talking to me. She's been acting since she was vey young, so she's been around adults and in adult situations for a lot of her life. Trust me, I wouldn't date someone who acted immature and juvenile. That being said, we have very similar likes (music, movies, social interests), and get along quite well. I don't know..really, we're just normal people who care about each other, but it's hard cause I know people think it's not right.
    Her parents, of course, aren't too happy, but I think they're coming around. Her sister met her current husband, who's 16 years older than her, when she was 20, so they have some experience dealing with these things.
    I guess you just have to let her date this guy and support her. Be there if she gets hurt and be excited for her if she's happy. Unless he's mistreating her emotionally or perhaps she's using him as some sort of father figure, what's the problem? If they're just two people who enjoy making each other happy, let them be.