Master degree or Marriage

[Bag Fetish]

Id go for my masters then see what happens with marriage.

Hi, newbie here, I just want to know what you ladies have in opinion regarding marriage age and so on.

So, basically I'm 21 years old and have graduated July last year (for my bachelor degree), and for the past year I have absolutely no idea what to do in my life. All of my friends who have graduated either waiting for their BF to propose or claimed to have been 'working' with their dads or helping their parents' business. I am still single, and have no problem with my status whatsoever. On spring'10 I am going to US to continue my study, I have always love the idea of meeting new people and encountering different culture (and of course do a little bit of soul searching). Few of my friends have mentioned or wondered if perhaps I am too old to be pursuing another degree, I live in a culture where girls should marry at 23 or 22. The thing is I have this way of thinking when you get married and have kids, then that's it. Life's over. Of course I want to meet my significant other, fall in love and have cute babies, etc. But do I have to do all that before I'm 25??
To be honest I am a little bit afraid of the social stigma, even yesterday when I told my cousin that I am going to continue my study, he was like "aren't you afraid you're going to end up an old spinster?"

Seriously, I know there are huge culture differences between western and eastern (I am Asian), but isn't this a bit much? Now I am getting nervous about my master degree since everyone suggest I should go husband hunting

What do you think ladies? Appreciate the insight

 

[olialm1]

I wouldn't rush the husband thing. I'm 20 and have no interest in marriage and I'm focusing on my schoolwork so I can become a nurse. Everyone says you change a lot from your twenties into your thirties, so I am not going to settle for anything. Plus, marriage and an education are both expensive! IMO you can have both eventually, just don't rush and pick one over the other.

 

[maebymarni]

When I studied in Japan, I heard there was an expression about how women were just like christmas cakes- no good after the 25th. I always thought it was a little silly.

Personally, I think you should go for the master's. I mean, what else are you going to do, sit around and wait until someone proposes? When you're ready to get married, I assure you there will still be plenty of men left who want to marry you. I come from a family where everyone got married really young, and even they understand that getting married young isn't really necessary anymore. I'm sure your family will come around to it as well.

 

[Jeneen]

When I studied in Japan, I heard there was an expression about how women were just like christmas cakes- no good after the 25th. I always thought it was a little silly.

Personally, I think you should go for the master's. I mean, what else are you going to do, sit around and wait until someone proposes? When you're ready to get married, I assure you there will still be plenty of men left who want to marry you. I come from a family where everyone got married really young, and even they understand that getting married young isn't really necessary anymore. I'm sure your family will come around to it as well.

Wow - that's demeaning! I know it's a jokey expression, but I'm sure if it exists - some people may see some truth in it.
I'm happy to be an old stale fruitcake

 

[TylerDurden]

I personally think at your age education is more important than marriage but if you really feel torn then you should pursue both. It sounds like you have a lot going for you, you are already off to a good start and you sound very open minded.

More and more now days a bachelor degree may not be enough, and if it is enough to get a good job then you should still go to school because it can be fun and it will help you benefit yourself (not necessarily financially.)

In hindsight I envy those people who knew what they wanted to do at a young age, I didn't figure it out until I was 28, like I said you're off to a good start. I'm not one to give into social pressure because I think as a species we are evolving so those social norms don't necessarily apply anymore. Do what makes you happy but if you really feel pressure than find a way to do both.

Good luck

 

[Samia]

Thanks for all the insight ladies, I was a bit whiny when I wrote the post, sorry. Yes, I guess you're right about not having to choose one over another. I was just a little upset that some of my girlfriends gave me this slightly pitying, condescending look whenever I talked about my plans. I'm not against marriage or anything, heck I would like to have a hubby myself if I found the right person. But it's just their way of implying that if you're not married by the time you're 23/25, the world would come crashing down on you. And in my culture, it's not possible for women to be married and go to school at the same time (unless of course if we live in US).
What's the benefit of marrying at such a young age anyway?

Hi, just to let you know that I am an Asian (Pakistani), and just like everyone here said do what seems right to you. And forget what other people say, those girls are pretty crazy to think that if by 25 you don't have a husband there is no hope. I got married at 26, didn't think I wanted to at that time but I met my SO and fell in love but I never let that come in between my education/profession or anything else that I wanted to do.

And in my culture, it's not possible for women to be married and go to school at the same time

I got my degree after I got married and I don't live in the US, its not about where you live, its how you think and do whats right for you. At the end of the day its just culture and if it does not suit you change it!
So follow your heart, the rest you will figure out in life as you go along, best of luck with anything you choose to do. Just remember the main thing is to not have regrets.

 

[lily25]

I got married right after my graduation from University, at 23, and continued studying and working, until I got my 2nd degree, and then my office got closed down (boss retired). Now I'm still studying - degree No 3- , and I'm discussing of starting my own business, and not one time did my studies or job seemed to be an obstacle to my marriage.

I 'm not keen on having kids, but I bet there are tons of women who can handle children as well.

I suggest you do whatever you like and feel like it's good for you. There is nothing wrong with getting married, and settling down. A successful marriage is hard work too.
Getting married early in your life is not that bad, imho it's pretty awesome.