Maid Of Honor Etiquette

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  1. some MOHs do pay for the bridal shower and bach party and others get help from other members....

    if your friend is having other bridal showers then i wouldn't worry about throwing one for yourself. all of her friends and family can be invited to other ones. I had a friend who had 3 bridal showers - one from her side of the family, one on his side of the family, and then one thrown by people at her church.

    but on the other side... she was a MOH for one of her friends and i guess no one was throwing her friend a shower so she took it upon herself to throw one for her.

    and it's better to ask and discuss rather than demand. I was a bridesmaid for one wedding and the MOH decided they needed a party bus and it was required that you bring a certain amount of money for it. at the time i was a broke college student and pretty upset that if i wanted to celebrate with my friend that i had to pay a ridiculous amount of money.
  2. the bridal parties i have been involved in, the whole bridal party chipped in for the shower, but the moh spearheaded the planning part.
  3. Unfortunately, my friend's mom passed away a few years ago. So, she will be unable to help with the shower. And, both her grandmothers have passed away too.

    Thank you all so much for the advice! I am 100% positive she won't turn into a Bridezilla. She's so nonchalant about everything... and, I can guarantee that any suggestions I give her will be perfectly fine.

    My mom offered to pitch in some money for the shower, so that's good at least! Now, I just have to talk to the other bridesmaids!
  4. This thread came a at a good time. I'm the MOH in my sister's wedding in January.

    On the topic of bridal showers, I was going to throw my sister one this fall, but was informed by someone at work that the family of the bride is never supposed to throw the shower because it looks like you're asking for gifts.

    Anyway, I'm not one for old-fashioned customs, so I'll throw the shower anyway. I was planning on co-hosting with some of the other bridesmaids...I just thought throwing the shower would be fun since my sister is my best friend.

    Just curious if anyone else had heard that rule.

  5. I have just been my best friend's maid of honor/witness.
    First, Italian traditions about wedding are different from American ones: we don't have bridal showers or parties with gifts to the bride.. it's up to bride's female friends to organize a hen party (addio al nubilato) in which they make pranks and tricks to the bride..and usually friends split up the expenses.
    However I couldn't agree more with auroraskye..the only thing you HAVE TO DO is stand by your bride and help her as much as you can..she will need a lot of help with the organization of the wedding, with the choice of the gown and so on, so the best you can do is give her all your support!
  6. I'm a MOH in a wedding of a family member that I couldn't get out of in a few weeks.
    The shower is this Saturday.
    In March an email went out from the bride demanding and listing very specific things she wants for her shower and stagette.
    Well at this point the other two bridesmaids are fighting and haven't planned the stag for this sat yet and I've done all the work and planning for a shower that is two hours away from my town and so far I'm on the hook for about 5 hundred bucks. fun times.
    I've been reading some etiquette sites and a shower is not a mandatory party. It can be thrown by pretty much anyone. My advice to you is *if* you want to throw a shower for your bride you must sit down with all parties who want to be involved and set your budget and make your plans. It should be a join effort to pay and plan.
    If you feel you can't afford to throw a shower don't worry about it. Be up front and let your friend know why. Honestly I never had a shower and I could not care less. I had a wedding to marry my husband, not to give my friends and family 50 different reasons to give me gifts.
  7. Yes, I know of the custom that a shower isn't thrown by the bride's family, it's supposed to be a friend. That's the traditional way but clearly people do whatever they want and it's usually fine too.
  8. When I got married the first time, I didn't even have a shower. All of my friends' showers were planned by moms, aunts, or other family members, but I guess my family wasn't really into that. At one point I asked my maid of honor if I was going to have a shower, but she is Egyptian, and apparently MOH's don't plan showers in her culture. So I didn't have one, and it didn't really bother me. I'm getting married again next month, and we decided not to have a wedding party, and I wouldn't want people to give us gifts again anyway! I think the best thing you can do is sit down and talk to your friend NOW about what her expectations are and what you can afford, and then you won't have to worry:smile:
  9. You can ask all of the bride's friends to chip in. You don't necessary have to follow the etiquette... I don't think it's fair for one person to foot the entire bill anyway.