http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/eve...cy-OBrien-Madonnas-tempestuous-love-life.html
In bed with Madonna: Warren Beatty found her crude, Guy Ritchie called her needy, Sean Penn went to jail for her... a new book navigates the choppy waters of Madonna’s turbulent love life
With the arrogance and mischief for which she would very soon be famous,
Madonna had a game she liked to play in the spring of 1983, just as her career was beginning to heat up. In the company of her backing dancer Erika Belle, she would go to the Mudd Club, the centre of New York nightlife at the bottom of Manhattan, and terrorise attractive men. ‘Rika,’ she’d announce to her friend, ‘I’m the best-looking white girl here and you are the best-looking black girl, so let’s do it.’ They’d target cute boys, boldly kiss them on the mouth, take their phone numbers and, while the hopeful young men were still watching, crumple up the numbers and throw them away.
As she approaches 60, it’s clear that Madonna’s life and career amount to far more than a list of the men she loved and left, or occasionally lost. But then again, few women have had such a remarkable talent for making men – and women – fall in love with them, or had such a good time doing it.
Madonna’s romantic history features actors, pop stars, models, producers, sporting icons, film directors, sons of presidents. But like those deluded boys on the dancefloor, most of them haven’t managed to slow her down for long. As an early boyfriend, the DJ Mark Kamins, put it: ‘She wasn’t difficult to be around – she just didn’t stick around.’
Popular, sexually curious and never short of boyfriends in her teenage years in Detroit, Madonna lost her virginity at the age of 15 with high school heart-throb Russell Long, before shifting her attention to school football player Nick Twomey – now a pastor in Traverse City, Michigan. Her outward persona was the alpha-female big mouth, but Madonna has protested that she was never promiscuous and only slept with her steady boyfriends.
In the summer of 1978, Madonna arrived in New York, but it was to be four years before she got her first record deal, let alone the kind of fame she desired. In the meantime, she suffered a trauma that very nearly broke her spirit, and quite possibly shaped her sexuality from that day on.
In a run-down part of town near the dance studio she attended, she was grabbed on the street by a thick-set black man who led her at knifepoint up the steps of a tenement block to the roof. There, he forced her to perform oral sex before leaving her crying and shaking on the rooftop. Back at her tiny apartment, she thought about going back to Michigan. But she stuck it out, burying deep her sense of shame and isolation and pushing onward. It might be argued that her anger at the attack came out afterwards in a need for complete sexual control. Many friends have suggested that she used sex in those days to get attention, a meal, a bed for the night. As a woman who felt powerless, it was one way to show men that she was the dominant one.
In New York she rekindled a romance with Stephen Bray, a musician she’d met while studying dance at the University of Michigan. He was a key collaborator on some of her first recordings, and he realised early on that being Madonna’s boyfriend was a difficult job. ‘Some people are very upfront and some are like “You’ll find out eventually you’re not my boyfriend and that I’m seeing 12 other people.” That was more her approach,’ he said. ‘I learned... not to count on her in that area.’
When Madonna persuaded Kamins to play her homemade demo tape, she quickly became his girlfriend, and they moved into a small flat on the Upper East Side. ‘We had no money and we were sleeping on milk crates,’ he remembered. ‘She wasn’t a home-maker. There was only one thing on her mind. I bought some lingerie for her one night and she wasn’t interested. To Madonna, a boyfriend was secondary. She knew how to use her sexuality to manipulate men – everyone from promotion guys to radio programmers.’
By the time her first single Everybody was setting New York alight in 1982, Madonna was the lover of a young, up-and-coming black artist, Jean-Michel Basquiat. Her disciplined lifestyle contrasted with his penchant for getting stoned and sleeping till the afternoon.
According to Basquiat’s assistant, Steve Torton, Madonna bailed out because Basquiat ‘never saw the sun. She said she couldn’t take it. I saw her and I said, “How’s Jean?” and she said, “He’s on dope. I went over there tonight and he was nodding out on heroin. I’m not having anything to do with that.” She moved out, just like that, totally emotionless.’
Soon, Madonna moved into a spacious apartment with John ‘Jellybean’ Benitez, producer of her early hit Holiday, in New York’s SoHo. ‘She was my girl,’ he said. ‘We spent hundreds of hours necking in the studio between takes,’ he recalled. ‘We had a very open relationship. It was part of my lifestyle, her lifestyle.’
When it finally arrived, stardom came fast, propelled by hits including Lucky Star, Borderline and Like A Virgin. Her relationship with Benitez lasted two years, but it was falling apart when she found herself pregnant with his child. She decided not to keep the baby, but it was an agonising decision for her. That was the moment she met hot-headed actor Sean Penn on the set of the Marilyn Monroe-inspired video for her single Material Girl. He became her protector, and a jealous, domineering force.
‘It wasn’t passionate love at first sight in the beginning, but it slowly became that for both of them,’ said Penn’s friend, the film director James Foley. ‘Suddenly they were madly in love and inseparable and couldn’t wait to get married. She became the entire centre of Sean’s life.’
On her wedding day, in the grounds of a clifftop house at Point Dume, Malibu, in front of guests including Cher, Carrie Fisher and Andy Warhol, Madonna wore white taffeta and a bowler hat. In their determination to get a shot, photographers disrupted the ceremony by hovering over the site in helicopters. ‘Madonna was going ballistic, giving [the paparazzi] the finger, while Sean was running in the house for his shotgun,’ recalled Bill Meyers, the keyboardist in Madonna’s band.
From the moment they got engaged, Madonna and Penn found themselves number-one fodder for tabloid stories. In 1986, while they were filming Shanghai Surprise, Penn was arrested after hanging an intruding photographer by his ankles from the balcony of their ninth-floor hotel room. He broke out of jail and escaped the city by jetfoil. In 1987, while Madonna was on her Who’s That Girl tour, he served 33 days of a 60-day sentence in the Los Angeles County Jail after assaulting an extra, while on probation for punching songwriter David Wolinski, who had kissed Madonna on the cheek.