M&M Candy Battle

  1. I stole this from a friends blog on MySpace. I thought it was hilarious and wanted to share it with everyone. I honestly don't know why this humored me so much. Maybe someone else on here will have a silly sense of humor like me and enjoy it! :roflmfao:

    Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

    Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them breaks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

    I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

    Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

    When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

    This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

    There can be only one.

    -Author Unknown-
  2. HAHAHA! I loved it!
  3. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:roflmfao::roflmfao::roflmfao:
  4. cute! I used to separate them by colors and start eating the 'extras' until all color groups in are even amount, then i will be having a hard time of which color group should i eat first?
  5. ahahahaa!! this is soo cute!
  6. Yeah, I used to eat by color. Red was always saved for last. There's a limited edition of raspberry M&M's that I'm currently addicted to.
  7. This is TOOO FUNNY!
  8. I looove red skittles. DF once went to costco and bought a box of skittles, he ate every bag (over time) and then gave me a couple of opened wrinkly bags. When I opened the bag to eat one, I noticed, they were ALL red. :love:
  9. OMG That is adorable! Ugh, I'm so jealous. My previous guy didn't do things like that for me!

    I love eating M&M's when the chocolate inside is a little melted. I try to leave them out in the sun for a bit or put them in a hot place. Then when I eat them I crush them in my mouth so the chocolate explodes out.... I'm weird, I know! And I usually leave the blue and reds for last.
  10. lmao!!!!! How cute!!
  11. I separate them by color and then eat them one at a time in rainbow order.
  12. When I was a kid I used to eat skittles like nothing else and when my sister would ask for some I would ALWAYS give her the yellow, I hated the yellow and I ALWAYS ate around them so I could give them to her, (She didnt like them either but she ate them anyway) lol
    Last year for Christmas I bought like 4 HUGE family bags of skittles and a large nice clear glass jar. I poured them all into a HUGE mixing bowl and I took all of the yellows out (put them back into a bag, and I ate them over the next few days) I put the rest of them into the large jar and I tied a pretty Christmas bow on it. When I gave it to her she was puzzled by it and I knew she didnt understand why I just gave her this unnecessarily large jar of skittles. Well i let her go on being confused... A few days later she called me laughing and said she just noticed there werent any yellows. She told all of her friends about it and said it was the sweetest thing ever, LoL
  13. This is too funny. I want to try this the next time I have some M&Ms.
  14. ROFL!!!! OMG, that is too funny :smile:
  15. LMAO. So funny! Someone has a lot of time on their hands! Thanks for sharing!