LV inheritence: upset because Mom gave the Bucket to sister

#31
pointe1134 said:
I really don't think that OP created this thread to start any type of drama, but I think she just wanted to share this story about her friend, her friend's mother and their trip to Paris and LV. I personally don't think that her friend is so upset because of a PURSE (I wouldn't want to imagine that this woman is heartless), but rather her friend is upset because she wants to hold onto anything she can to remember her mother. I don't know about any of you, but I cherish the personal items of family members who have passed on...I feel comforted when I think about how much THEY enjoyed the item. It doesn't seem like her friend and the sister are in some sort of battle to see who gets the most "stuff" after their mother passes, but this bag was a momento of their trip to Paris. It is very understandable that her friend would want to have that momento to remember the trip and her mother...and it is also understandable that her friend is upset that the mother didn't view the bag as a kind of momento and just gave it to the sister. When people pass away, it is hard to deal with everything. I just think we shouldn't chastise this woman until we look at it from her point of view.
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Thank you for posting. You said it exactly for what it was.
Update: she talked to her mom about it and her mom gave it to her sister because it was a practical bag that stands and because her sister does not have a Lv. Her mom said not to make a fuss about it. My friend is happy to have talked to her mom. They talked about their trip to Paris together and all is fine. I am so relieved that all is well now with them, you need to have peace and tranquility in moments like this, My prayers go to them.
 
#32
I think some ppl are a little fast to judge. No one can reason with someones thinking and thought processes during such difficult times. Maybe you could suggest to your friend to forget about the bag now and focus on her Mother and maybe sometime down the track speak to her sister about the sentimental value the bag has to her. Maybe the sister may love the bag and want to start buying others and the could bring them closer by sharing an interest.This may be the sister intensions aswell..who knows. One thing is for sure that your friend can not speak to anyone other then you about the bag at this time or maybe other friends and familiy members may misinterpret you friends thoughts and cause more trouble then what it worth.
Take care and remenber you are going to be very carefull with your advice xo
 
#33
Mrs Darling said:
Thank you for posting. You said it exactly for what it was.
Update: she talked to her mom about it and her mom gave it to her sister because it was a practical bag that stands and because her sister does not have a Lv. Her mom said not to make a fuss about it. My friend is happy to have talked to her mom. They talked about their trip to Paris together and all is fine. I am so relieved that all is well now with them, you need to have peace and tranquility in moments like this, My prayers go to them.
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Oops I didnt read this post. Happy it has all worked out. Though the power of communication.
 
#34
TheMrsKwok said:
For some reason, I felt the same way as OP's friend.
Same as how I feel when my dog pass away.... Why, I did not get my dog's chain ? I am the owner, if my sister demand for it and I can't have it I will be really sad. When the important person is gone, u really want to hold the sentimental things left by him or her. I will still love and treat my dog really well when she is sick, but I felt lost when I can't hold onto or own my dog 's chain.

What happened is my family in grieve buried my dog with her chain, so she can have it when she is in her doggie heaven. She has a name, has a family love her. But soon after, the whole family is in deeper grieve because we can't hold on the material things that belongs to my dog. We felt lost ..... Totally. We always take care of my dog till she leave us.... And fed her and hug her. Sad over her dog chain doesn't meant we only care for the chain. Why not we take her blanket? Her toys or even her bowl ? There are certain things link the bond between certain occasion that happened between 2 individuals, privately and precious. When you can't stop the time, u want something belong to the particular time. something durable, and belong to my dog. Used by her most of the time.

Lv bag is something durable, used by the mum, hold it and where her hands land on and accumulated sweat. OP's friend would like to feel her mum is with her when she hugs the bag. Put it in her bedroom or bring it out with her. Her mum is somehow with her. Why should her sister have it when the lv bag doesn't give the sister that kind of security and warmth ?

If the friend is a person just think a about material thing, she will not choose a 15 years old USED bag. Instead, money.

One thing, OP's friend wants her mum, and the purse that has her mum's footage.
Choosing the bag doesn't meant she forgot to spend time with her mum. She is trying to find a way not to lose herself after her mum is gone.

It isn't a lv bag. It is her mum's beloved bag.
I felt it is unfair to conclude without thinking in her position. How expensive is a 15 year old bucket? Memory, and soul, that is lost , the reason why she is sad.
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You said it so well. It's the bond. My friend can buy anything she wants because she is fortunate. The most important thing is that she is happy to have cleared it out with her mom and understand why her mom gave it to her sister. I am so glad that both are ok now and they are spending time together. No more questionnings nor bad feelings. She created a new memory with her mom when they talked about their trip to Paris and I am sure that she is happy that her sister got the bag.
 
#35
As someone that has already lost a parent (my dad), stuff like this never crossed my mind, not even for a second. There was too much to think about, to worry about a material object, like the well being of my surviving parent, her grieving, my dad's comfort in his final days.. I have all the gifts he gave me when he was alive and well and I will never part with them, but as for his personal items, I have no idea what my mom or sister did with them. There's something more important happening. An irreplaceable person is leaving.

Sent from my iPad using PurseForum
 
#37
I think readers are getting too upset about this.

It's obvious that the friend isn't upset because she wants the bag..because she is scavengering her mother's items and trying to get the valuables- I have seen that happen, and this is NOT that.

To the friend, the bag symbolizes something special that she shared with her mother, and THAT is why it's important to her. Not because she wants the LV- she wants to cling to that special memory.

I can completely see this- my sister has 0 interest in bags. But my mom and I both love bags and it's something that we share. Two years ago my mom was celebrating something important, and I flew there without the family or kids, and we spent a whole week together having so much fun and going to the beach etc.. And we went to LV and each bought ourselves a present. :smile: It's a wonderful memory for me, and if something happens to my mother, I would love to have that bag. Not because I want to carry it or cross it off my wish list, but because it's something special that we share. If I found out that my sister had gone into the house and taken the bag- that isn't special to HER at all, and has no sentimental value to her, I would be hurt.

So, I feel for the friend..I can understand how she feels hurt. I hope that if she explains her feelings to her sister, she will let her have the bag.
 
#38
taste4design said:
MrsTheKwok, l think what you have said is very well said. Its not about the bag being LV its about the fact that its a bag that OP's friend was with her Mum during the buying experience in Paris and a lovely time in life that holds fond memories for them both. She looks at the bag and directly thinks of her Mum.
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i agree with this!!! just because she wants the bag as a memory of her mother... does not mean she's not think or being with her mother now!! letting go is very hard... some times having something of that person ( even when they are still alive) makes you somehow feel better!! (i have experienced this myself).
 
#39
ncgal71 said:
People hardly EVER think clearly when a beloved family member is dying, and especially when they can do little about it. Venting to her friend is not "horrible," it's just denial, and a way to let off steam. We lose control of our reasoning when the people we treasure most die (OUR PARENTS). So we focus on small things.

This most likely is not about a purse. This is about her reaching out to vent to her friend. I've been there, personally, and I work with these type situations every day. It's simply about being human, and coping with realizing we have little control over big things, so it's in some to try to control what they can, even if it's just a purse. Everything will be ok.
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Oh I totally agree with you, people deal with heartache and pain in many different ways. I don't think the friend, is so angry about the bag, she is hurting at the thought of loosing her mom, and it is being directed at her sister. She probably doesn't even realize it. I say talk with your friend and if she wants to be mad about the bag let her!!! Believe me its more than that I'm site, my husband lost his mom when she was at the young age of 49, and its such a tragic thing to go through, be a good set of ears and let your friend vent!!! She is in my prayers!!
 
#40
Very happy she was able to talk to her mom about it, and gain some peace about it. I never thought you were trying to start drama at all, just posting a really sad situation about your friend. I hope she continues to feel comforted. It's a really hard thing to go through.
 
#41
Condolences to your friend. I also agree that some have been too quick to judge. For the people who have called your friend an ''ugly person'', it's not fair to judge without knowing the person OR the situation entirely. How does one know if the bag was all she was concerned about, how does one know it's not just a small upsetting event in amongst lots? Although the Internet is a place where we can express our opinions freely, common curtesy should still apply. Calling the OP's friend (someone who the OP evidently holds dear) an ''ugly person'' is downright rude.
 
#42
Oh geez people .. This is a forum and
everybody has entitle to express their
Opinions .. There's no drama or judgmental
here .. We always have to put in our mind
that everybody is deferent here .. Culture ,
languages, and race !!! We are here to
express our opinions on every situation
Expect some negative and positive
input .. Let us be for real that WE cannot
Get a ALWAYS a positive feedback !!!'
Get over with it and move on .. Next
Thread please !!! Ugh !!!
 
#43
Queen Maria said:
Oh geez people .. This is a forum and
everybody has entitle to express their
Opinions .. There's no drama or judgmental
here .. We always have to put in our mind
that everybody is deferent here .. Culture ,
languages, and race !!! We are here to
express our opinions on every situation
Expect some negative and positive
input .. Let us be for real that WE cannot
Get a ALWAYS a positive feedback !!!'
Get over with it and move on .. Next
Thread please !!! Ugh !!!
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Hi friend! Love you! :hugs:
 
#45
taste4design said:
MrsTheKwok, l think what you have said is very well said. Its not about the bag being LV its about the fact that its a bag that OP's friend was with her Mum during the buying experience in Paris and a lovely time in life that holds fond memories for them both. She looks at the bag and directly thinks of her Mum.
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Mrs Darling said:
You said it so well. It's the bond. My friend can buy anything she wants because she is fortunate. The most important thing is that she is happy to have cleared it out with her mom and understand why her mom gave it to her sister. I am so glad that both are ok now and they are spending time together. No more questionnings nor bad feelings. She created a new memory with her mom when they talked about their trip to Paris and I am sure that she is happy that her sister got the bag.
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Thank you :smile: and I am glad that your friend had a great talk with her mum :hugs:
 
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