I recently have bought several different pearls from Pearl Paradise and have been very happy with my purchases-so I'd recommend them. I also suggest you call them to order (I ask for Chenai) as they will look through the pearls and pick the best ones for you!! Jeremy (owner of Pearl Paradise) is on a buying trip right now, so if you decide to order you may want to wait until mid to late March to see what fabulous pearls they bring back.
As for size- I think it's personal. Some people have larger earlobes and need larger pearls. Some people only like small studs,etc. I would suggest you go into a jewelry store (all have some sort of pearls) and try different sizes on to see what you like,
My preference for pearls are the more unusual fireballs, souffles, kasumi, etc. so I don't have any of the freshadamas or hanadamas personally, but if you have looked through the Pricescope threads you will see most are VERY happy with their freshadamas and don't feel the need to spend the extra for the hanadamas. You might also wait to see some of the freshwater metallics- talk about incredible lustre!!! Don't know if they have any in stock right now- but if not, will probably replenish on their trip. As far as durability- I wouldn't worry about earrings as they shouldn't get much wear and tear.
eta- Pearl Paradise also usually has some great sales around Mother's Day!!