Lost friendship?

  1. I have a really really close friend that all of a sudden stopped calling & returning my calls for almost a month now. We used to talk everyday. I emailed her & all she says is she is really busy.
    I'm so confused. I know I didn't do anything to her or to make her mad.

    This really hurts.:crybaby:

    I'm a adult & thought that adult friendships just don't end like this or at least without a explanation.

    Has anyone ever went through this & how did you handle it? I think about it everyday & I'm having a hard time letting it go.
  2. This happened to me once too, a long time ago. A friend I had known since Kindergarten suddenly stopped talking to me. I could not figure out why.

    It was even harder because at that time in my life I was going through a major trauma and needed friends. It hurt me deeply.

    About two years after she excommunicated me, she showed up at my front door unannounced. I was at that time preparing to move away and apparently she'd heard through the rumor mill that I was leaving. She explained that she'd decided she did not want me around because her husband had told her he thought I was "cute". (we were in our mid 20s at the time) Apparently she felt I was some kind of a threat to her marriage. :rolleyes:

    (Her husband, I might add, was a nice guy but was about 4 inches shorter than me and not exactly a movie star looks-wise :rolleyes: )

    Anyway- I told her that she had hurt me deeply and that she had some nerve to show up after two years and expect me to just forgive and forget- when the estrangement was caused by HER INSECURITY.

    I shut the door in her face and never spoke to her again and have no regrets.
  3. :cry: its horrible isnt it! i am the first of my friends to have a baby and since i had her iv hardly seen anyone! i cant just go out whenever they call and i dont think they get it. iv been struggling as it is but this just makes it worse- i feel very much how you do at the mo. im just gunna try and forget it if they wanna be like that then i can do without them anyway:blah: keep your chin up sweetie if she doesnt come round then its her loss!:supacool:
  4. This is happening to me as well. My friend of three years has decided she doesn't want to hang out with me anymore-"just because." And she did't tell me to my face, I had to learn that through someone else. And then I realized I didn't want to be friends with someone who did things for no reason and gets mad at me for the silliest things.

    You sound like a nice person. She doesn't deserve to have a nice friend like you! I'm sure there are other people out there who will make better friends.
  5. Ahhh... That is sad. See what can't people just tell you what is happening? I would beable to move on if I knew why or if she would just be like look.... I don't have time for friends in my life right now. Not "I'm busy" I'm like are you really that busy 24/7 you can't even send a email or call to see if I'm even breathing?? :shrugs:

    I think with her she is doing bigger & better things right now & doesn't have the time for me. Which makes it even worse because we are so close. She knows things about me I would never tell another soul. I feel like she has totally shut me out of her life & has no second thoughts about it. I told myself no matter what I'm not calling again. She knows she is hurting me & if it doesn't bother her then I need to let it go. I know she has done this to people before but I thought we had a friendship that would until the end.
  6. Ah, haven't happen to me that way yet. What happens to me is we drift apart and it's just weird to get together again. On the other hand, I'm the kind of person who you won't see for two years, no communication at all, but when we see each other again....we pick up right where we left off. Sorry that this happened. Unfortunately, you will never know unless you guys do talk about it.
  7. Maybe she just really is busy or whatever?

    I haven't spoken to my supposed "best friend' in almost 1 1/2 years. Yes, I know that probably means we aren't even friends anymore... but still... sometimes friendships just drift.

    Sometimes people don't realize how good friendship is, and take it for granted (as most of my old friends did)...
  8. This happened to me once. I had made a statement to a friend about my old boyfriend's best friend's girlfriend treating him disrespectfully and my "so-called" friend decided to make what I thought was a confidential statement a public announcement. This got back to my boyfriend at the time and he was not happy that I had said anything about his friend's girlfriend. Even though what she was doing was quite sordid, IMO. I know now I shouldn't have been judgemental, but
    at the same time, I trusted my friend to know not to spread this information. After she did that to me I told her to leave the next time she stopped by my place. However, I didn't just drop her all of a sudden and she knew specifically what she had done.
    In any event, a few words said to the wrong person can be a viscious thing and something you may have meant to be a harmless thing may have turned in to something else. It sounds like there is a misunderstanding. I would keep emailing and give her a call or two, apologize for the offense and ask her to give you specifics. If she truly was a good friend she'll come clean.

  9. I went through the same thing with my best friend of 8 years. When I got married & had my first child she wanted me to hang out & go clubbing 4 nights a week like I was single still. She didn't understand that I couldn't do the single stuff we always did together. I could go a have a girls night out when ever I needed it but not pregnant. She didn't understand this & said I just had my head up my husbands a** & didn't want to leave his side.
    I deeply wanted to remain friends & always invited her to do other things like shopping or lunch but she wasn't interested in that. Slowly we talked less & less & now we haven't spoke in over 2 years. I miss her we had been best friends since Jr high school & experienced so much together. I feel guilty I let our friendship die.

    I hear about her every now & again. I know that she just had her 4th child & she & her boyfriend are living with her mother. Our lives are so different now. If we did talk I would feel like I'm bragging if I told her what is going on in my life. It still makes me sad when I think about how it ended.:sad:

  10. I did that 2 weeks ago. I said did I do something to hurt or offend you & she said " No not at all. I'm just really busy that's all" I know I didn't do anything to her. I have went over it again & again. Just one day she stopped calling. All I get from her is she is busy but everyone has time for true friends. Right?
  11. Well said. It hurts you now, but the friendship is her loss.

    I'm sorry you are sad.
  12. Unless she decides to tell you why she suddenly doesn't have time for you, you have to just let it go. Give her some space and try again in a couple weeks. Sometimes, sadly, no answer is your answer.

    I think "breaking up" with a girlfriend can be even more emotionally painful than with a boyfriend! Both absolutely suck. I'm really sorry this happened to you and I truly hope you can come to some closure on it and get back in communication.
  13. Thanks your sweet. I consider myself a good friend to her & am always there when she needed me but now it seems that she doesn't need me so she doesn't have time to be friends anymore. :shrugs:

  14. Thanks, I was thinking the same thing. Maybe by not calling that is her answer.

    This is totally like a break up but worse because I don't know why. Last night I had something really great to tell her & had to hold myself back from calling. Last time I spoke to her she talked to me kind of like a child. It was a weird conversation & made me uncomfortable. I wanted to talk to her but her tone made me feel like I was a pest. That's when I told myself never again. I just want to call & say "who in the hell are you?" I feel like my friend has been taken & this stranger is answering her phone. How can people just wake up & decide to cut off their friends?
  15. Thank you. That is what another close friend told me. I guess I will just have to put that in my head & move on.