Letter from Pet Owner to Pet -- Very Funny

  1. I got this in an email...it was so funny, I thought I should share with everyone.

    To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

    Dear Dogs and Cats,

    The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The
    other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a
    paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim
    for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that
    aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

    The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
    Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't
    help because I fall faster than you can run.

    I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
    about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on
    the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl
    up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep
    perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent
    possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out an d having
    tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

    For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom.
    If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door
    shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the
    knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open.
    I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been
    using the bathroom for years--canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

    The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's
    butt. I cannot stress this enough! & nbsp;
    To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on
    our front door:

    To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About MY Pets
    1. They live here. You don't.
    2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
    3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
    4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

    Remember: Dogs and cats are b etter than kids because they:
    1. Eat less
    2. Don't ask for money all the time
    3. Are easier to train
    4.Usually come when called
    5. Never drive your car
    6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
    7. Don't smoke or drink
    8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions
    9. Don't wear your clothes
    10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and
    11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
  2. :roflmfao: :yahoo:

    LOVE IT!!! Thanks for sharing.;)
  3. ha ha ha. Thanks for sharing!
  4. LOL So cute!
  5. Cute! And funny too! My dogs and cats should be able to relate to just about all of those items...especially the one about taking up too much space on the bed!
  6. ITA with you Leelee :yes:

    My dog Porsche is the biggest bed hog in the world as well, we usually have to evict her otherwise we can't sleep well.
  7. :p :roflmfao: Very funny, thanks for posting!
  8. haha that is so funny. I love "They live here you don't" & staying off the fur -niture :yahoo:
  9. very cute, thanks for sharing. it's now posted on my fridge :smile:
  10. lol! That was funny! Thanks for posting!
  11. This is just brilliant and so true. Loved it:roflmfao: :roflmfao: :roflmfao:
  12. LOL. ! number 11.
  13. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
    Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't
    help because I fall faster than you can run.

    HaHa...sounds like our cat!! Too cute, thanks for sharing!
  14. I just spent the day sleeping on the very edge of our queen-size bed because Madame Fifi and Gozer decided they had to sleep in the exact center. I can relate to every single item mentioned in that letter!! Too cute!
  15. awww...this letter is soo cute!! would u mind if i put it on my blog??