Lack of a travel partner...

caley

caley

hello!
O.G.
May 1, 2006
6,427
145
#1
Recently I've become very travel ambitious. My parents love to travel so I've been to a few exciting places. Now that my bf and I are living together, he has expressed having NO interest whatsoever travelling abroad. He says the language barrier is the main factor. He has also turned down the option of going with a tour group.

What should I do? Should I just go and travel alone? The possibility of having friends as travel partners are slim. I'm very fortunate (and thankful) to have a flexible schedule and financial situation, so most of my friends probably can't afford to take these kinds of vacations at the moment.
 
#2
Caley,

Both my parents have lived all over the world and seen a lot of faraway places. They've always instilled this love of travel in my brother and I so we've both been lucky enough to see a lot of the world. My brother and I are both lucky to have SOs who also love to travel and they've always travelled with us. I can't imagine being with someone who doesn't like to travel.

Now that I have kids and bills I am no longer able to travel like I used to. Kids, families, jobs are all things that make it hard to just pack up and go. Since you're young you really need to take advantage of the opportunities that you have.

I guess what you need to do is express your desire to see the world to your BF and explain that you're willing to go w/out him. Ask him if he is okay with that. If he says okay, then book a tour with a group and go! If he's not then I think it would be appropriate to get some sort of compromise going.

Is there anywhere in particular that you want to go, because in this day and age it is pretty easy to find people that speak English all over the world or to book a tour with an English speaking guide. Taking cruises is also helpful.

Anyway, I think it would be a shame not to go/ I've always tried to live so that I don't have any regrets. I partied really hard and played when I was younger and now that I am middle aged with kids I don't feel like I really missed out on too much. I know I won't be able to travel much again for another 15-20 years and I can live with that.
 
#3
Caley,

I agree with Riley. It's important to let your BF know how important travel is to you. You are at a point in your life, where you are free to go wherever, whenever you want. You don't want to regret not taking advantage of this time.

That being said, you also need to be careful travelling alone. There is safety in numbers. I understand if your friends aren't in the same financial situation as you are, but often, if you travel in groups, it can be cheaper. (shared accomodations)

Good luck and let us know if you have any fabulous trips planned.
 
#4
I think if you want to travel you definitely should not let his reluctance hold you back... one of my good friends has mastered traveling solo..she's been all over & is fearless! When she can, she'll get one of us to go...i haven't but that's because i've never been able to swing money/time off...but i'm completely envious when she comes back w/great pics & stories!!

Part of his reluctance is maybe a fear of being seen as less than a master of his universe? Most guys are "fix-its" and he's probably uncomfortable of the idea that if things go wrong, he won't be able to flex his (mental/physical) muscle & make it better...lol...low tolerance for vulnerability.
Maybe coax his travel bug by going to distant yet overtly English-speaking places first? Canada? Great Britain?

Or play to his interests? A Gaming convention in Japan? Martial arts expo in thailand? Go surfing in Tahiti?

Remind him that you can always hire a private guide/interpreter, so it won't be so obviously "touristy" and ...when it all comes down to it....the two of you will be making AWESOME memories that will be cherished in the future.

Oh...and this JUST occured to me... does he have any hobbies that might be the equivalent of rileygirl's "SF = audra" moment? :roflmfao: Maybe he is mentally balancing the cost against new golf clubs or car customization? :graucho:

Good luck & happy trails! :tup:
 
#5
Caley--Also agree with Colleen, not safe to travel anymore solo so take mom, aunty, friends, or a tour. Back when I was young and dumb I travelled through Spain by myself. It wasn't smart and there were times I thought that they'd have to call my parents to tell them they found me dead in a ditch somewhere.
 
#6
HI...

My situation may be different - (I live/work oversseas so).

Next month (godwilling) I will be travelling to Bangkok and then Manila. I'm a guy so the security thing might be a little different. Anyways, I love it. Travel while you can...
 
#9
My friend recently embarked on a 3 month southeast Asia trip all by her lonesome. However, she had a blast! She joined a traveling tour group that was pretty active. She made life friend from that trip.

I'm lucky that my DH loves to travel and we are able to experience the world together. However, if he didn't I'd do what others have said and go ahead with my travel.
 
#10
It's a shame your bf doesn't want to travel-he's missing so much. Maybe you could start him off in places that speak English like England and Ireland and let him see how much fun it is?

If you can't find a friend to go with, what about asking your Mom along for a Mother/Daughter trip? My Mom and I went to Ireland together two years ago and it was so much fun.

If he's deadset against it, why not do a tour group on your own? This way you're not completely by yourself for safety and companionship concerns, but you can still venture off by yourself?

Good luck!
 
#11
I am in the same boat, my SO doesn't like to travel but I love to travel. Basically I have just gone on my trips alone, I cannot force him to come with me but I am not going to be let him stand in my either as I have no children & have a lot of vacation time. It has caused some tension but he knew from the start when he met me that I loved to travel. You only live once is what I say.
 
#12
If I waited for Partners, Friends, Family, BF's to get off their arses and get some get up and go I would never have done anything. You go for it - If you're nervous book yourself on a "Singles" holiday - there are alot of companies out there that deal with the "Single or Solo" traveller not Single or Solo as in no BF/Partner. I'm amazed at your BF's attitude regarding language barrier - I find that part and parcel of why I want to travel!
 
#13
thank you so much for the advice everyone!! i think travelling with a tour or with my mom is the best option for me. i've always loved travelling so its quite a shock to me that my bf has no interest in it. i asked him "how can you NOT like travelling?!" lol. next i'll have to ask him if its ok for me to go on these trips solo. thanks again everyone! :smile:
 
#15
I have travelled alone. I've made dear friends and had some pretty crazy adventures. I have gotten into a few scrapes. Nothing serious and I was too young and dumb to even have the good sense to be afraid.
If I knew then what I know now I probably never would have done it. But I'm so glad I did.
 
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