Kids say the darndest things...share yours

twinkle.tink

twinkle.tink

Choose to be happy
O.G.
Sep 19, 2006
21,299
608
#1
Let's lighten the mood. Share your favorite kids say the darndest thing....at the end of the week, next Friday, I will pick the one I like best and send you a surprise :smile:

I have a million, but here is the first one the pops in my head, 'cuz it happened yesterday. ;)

I was arranging the flowers kallison sent me. My 6 year old was watching me, and asked why I was taking some of the leaves off. I explained it was important that nothing but the stems were in the water or they would rot and ruin the flowers too fast.

So he peered into the water, which was still white from the plant food swirling around..."Mom, I see something in there, you better get it out!" I looked, and sure enough something was there, but you could barly see it...I said, "You're right, but I will wait until the plant food settles down and get it"

He looked at me and asked, "why is it excited?"...what:confused1: ....he repeated, "why is it excited?" :idea: Think I say, "settle down, don't get so excited" a bit? :roflmfao:
 
#2
About fifteen years ago (yes, old story...LOL) my mother, my little cousin, and I were having dinner together. I was maybe fifteen or sixteen, and my little cousin was about seven. The restaurant was very busy that day, and there were tons of waiters and waitresses clearing tables, piling dishes, etc. I noticed all the dishes and made the comment, "I'd hate to get stuck here without my wallet. This would be a lot of dishes to wash!" My mom laughed and said, "They'd probably just call the police." My little cousin's eyes grew big and he said, "They'd make the police wash the dishes?"

:roflmfao:
 
#3
:roflmfao: These are too too funny!

I was five when my 'auntie' sue (our next door neighbour!) came and invited me to go swimming in the sea with her family, my Mum said 'oh what a lovely idea, you'd love that wouldn't you' to which I promptly burst into tears and had a hissy fit proclaiming I didn't want to go. When asked *why* I didn't want to go, my response was

"But how will I know which is the shallow end??"

(Can you tell I was used to swimming in pools???!)
 
#4
When my son was about 4 a friend and I took him to the beach. There were some friendly seagulls on the sand. My son was very fascinated and kept walking towards them, and he suddenly stops and picks up a feather from the ground. Then he starts talking to a seagull. "Hey seagull, you lost your feather. Come and get it!"

Of course the more he walks towards them, the more the seagulls walk away. So he chases the seagull down the beach saying "Hey, don't you want your feather back?". I went and retrieved him when he was halfway down the beach and told him that it was okay that the seagull lost his feather, the seagull had lots more feathers.

To which my son says "But won't his mom get mad if he leaves his feather behind?"

I made it a point to think very hard before complaining about clothing lost at school/camp thereafter!
 
#6
These are great! My 6 year old was in his PE class. They were playing a game in which the teacher had to "tag" the children. Of course, she was "letting" them get away & win. At the end the kids told her "you're not a very fast runner!" My son whispered (quite loudly) "Guys, she can't help it. She's handicapped!"

(She is a very healthy young lady).
 
#8
One day at work I was ringing up a customer, but my register had an error and the items weren't scanned properly so I had to ask the lady, who had already put them into her shopping bag, to give them back, so I could scan them again.

She made quite a big purchase (I worked at a beauty/make-up/spa-items store), so I asked her whether that was all when she put the things on the counter again.

Customer: "Yes, that was all"

Customer's daughter, about 6/7: "Mommy, but what about that perfume in your bag?!?!

:roflmfao:

So freaking funny, you should have seen how that lady blushed. Great,
if your kid is a better person than you are :P
 
#9
Well, I have a nine-year-old sister, so I have lots of these....lol....just last weekend, I took my little sister and her little friend to the park. They were sitting on the swings, talking about boys (already? she's growing up too fast...) and my sister is still in the "ewww boys!" stage, but the other little girl isn't. She told my little sister that she was going to marry a little boy in their class, and my sister said she was NEVER getting married. The other little girl stopped and thought a bit.....then said, "But Katie, if you are never going to get married, then how will you have money?" My smart little sister (I'm so proud) said "well, I'm going to have a JOB!" and the other little girl replied with, " Why would you wanna have a job when you could do whatever you wanted to all day??? Now your sister.....(me) she has the right idea!(because I am getting married, though not for money....lol!)" I then explained to her that I was in school and would also be getting a job and that you shouldn't marry for money and blah..blah...she's nine years old, she doesn't care right now....but anyway, it seems to me her mother may be teaching her to...erm....be a little gold-digger??? LOL!
 
#10
My kid doesn't talk yet...but one time Nicole (3 at the time) came up to Bart and I as we were sitting on the couch and she said:

"I know how you guys kiss"...

And we said "Oh yeah? How"

.....and then she opened her mouth real wide and stuck her tongue out, lmao! :roflmfao:

Now we are definitely not the type that do those things in front of others...but I guess we got busted somewhere :shocked:
 
#13
LAltiero85 said:
Well, I have a nine-year-old sister, so I have lots of these....lol....just last weekend, I took my little sister and her little friend to the park. They were sitting on the swings, talking about boys (already? she's growing up too fast...) and my sister is still in the "ewww boys!" stage, but the other little girl isn't. She told my little sister that she was going to marry a little boy in their class, and my sister said she was NEVER getting married. The other little girl stopped and thought a bit.....then said, "But Katie, if you are never going to get married, then how will you have money?" My smart little sister (I'm so proud) said "well, I'm going to have a JOB!" and the other little girl replied with, " Why would you wanna have a job when you could do whatever you wanted to all day??? Now your sister.....(me) she has the right idea!(because I am getting married, though not for money....lol!)" I then explained to her that I was in school and would also be getting a job and that you shouldn't marry for money and blah..blah...she's nine years old, she doesn't care right now....but anyway, it seems to me her mother may be teaching her to...erm....be a little gold-digger??? LOL!
Click to expand...

omg...so funny!!! "how will you have money?" PRICELESS!
 
#14
My folks and I drove to visit my brother and his family (they are about a 4 hour drive). My nephew was about 3 1/2 at the time and when we arrived he just comes running up to my Mom with a big huge grin and shouts, "I PEED IN THE TOILET, GRANDMA!!" I laughed SO hard...on the inside.
 
#15
My grandfather died last November. I knew what had happened when my husband told me who was on the other end of that phone, before I ever spoke to my Mom.

I had to be strong for her. She was with him when he died holding his hand. I told her how blessed she was to have been there with him.

So, when I hung up, I just lost it. I was bawling with no sense of control. Then I heard my then 4-year-old say, "What is wrong with Mom?" (That's not the "darnest thing...") This was the first time I had to deal with death and then pass that news on to my own child. So, I sucked everything back in and grabbed my son by the arms to tell him that Grandpa Tucker had died and that he had been very sick. You could see the wheels turning in his head. So all of a sudden he had to go to the bathroom.

My husband and I were standing in the kitchen and he was in the bathroom in middle pee (he refuses to close the door, gross, I know, but it was just us) and he looks at me and says, "Did someone shoot Grandpa?!"

My husband just looked at me in fear of my reaction and I just busted out into laughter!! I found it to be so odd that of all the thoughts that could pop in to his head, that that was the one!

I called my Mom a few hours later to tell her how breaking that news went with him and then how is little mind processed it! All she could say was 'Jessica, he must watch way too much tv'!

That is my funny story!
 
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