When do you stop chaperoning your kids ?
At what age do you feel its appropriate for children to go out by themselves or just with friends ?
At what age do you feel its appropriate for children to go out by themselves or just with friends ?
Kids And Their Chaperone's
- Thread starter Prada's Meadow
- Start date
High school is when you should let your child(ren) invite friends over. I'd rather have my child at home and provide everything they need that to let him or her out without knowing who or what. You can see what kind of crowd, plus you can get to know them. Probably after knowing the friends for about a year or two, you can probably make a sound decision by then.
I let mine loose her senior year in high school. Once she reached 16/17 I felt it was time for her to make some of her own decisions. Before that she may have felt she was free but when she was in the mall I was shopping there too. I am sure she didn't like running into me there. I also followed her once in a while to make sure she was where she said she was and enabled the gps on her cell. Living in a heavily populated area you can never be too careful.
The youngest saw what I did to her sister and figures its better to have friends over and go to school functions. She hates running into me in the mall (freshman high school).
You know the values you have instilled in them and just hope they make the right decisions as they walk the paths of life!
The youngest saw what I did to her sister and figures its better to have friends over and go to school functions. She hates running into me in the mall (freshman high school).
You know the values you have instilled in them and just hope they make the right decisions as they walk the paths of life!
Well, my kids are only 5 & 6 so thankfully I've got some time before I worry about this. I think maybe around 17 or so, I will let them go out alone with their friends, not before that though. There are way to many crazy things to deal with out there that happen to children and I am just going to keep them safe for as long as I can and I DON'T CARE if they hate me for it or not. They might hate me......but they'll be ALIVE hating me.
For me, personally, it will totally depend on the maturity level of my daughter. Right now, she's only 12 (13 this summer). Sometimes, we will let her go to the mall and we let her take one friend. We ALWAYS trail them at a reasonable distance but would never ever let them out of our sight. We stay just far enough behind so that they FEEL like they have some space. We go into all of the small stores (Limited Too, Claire's) with them but stay near the door and watch them the entire time.
If we take them to a movie, they can sit anywhere they want - below us - so we can keep an eye on them the entire movie. I don't even let her/them use the restroom alone. Too many strange things happening in the world today.
I would imagine that when she is 16/17, she can start to wander away from the nest but that will depend totally on her maturity level. Hopefully by then, we will have instilled in her a good sense of awareness and responsiblity. Right now, we know ALL of her friends AND their parents very well. In fact, we've known most of the parents before they had the kids! It's a very small circle and honestly, I like it that way.
If we take them to a movie, they can sit anywhere they want - below us - so we can keep an eye on them the entire movie. I don't even let her/them use the restroom alone. Too many strange things happening in the world today.
I would imagine that when she is 16/17, she can start to wander away from the nest but that will depend totally on her maturity level. Hopefully by then, we will have instilled in her a good sense of awareness and responsiblity. Right now, we know ALL of her friends AND their parents very well. In fact, we've known most of the parents before they had the kids! It's a very small circle and honestly, I like it that way.
Well, I started getting comfortable with my daughter when she was in the 6th grade (she's 13 now, 14 this summer), no sleep overs but I let her go to the pizzaria once in a while after school and to the movies alone with her freinds (whom's parents I know for years) on the weekends, it's about 8 girls and 3 boys, they all grew up together and we let them go shopping and to the movies alone. Of course all of "us" parents take turns dropping and picking them up from their locations. The chaperoning stops when they get their drivers license when they are about 17 or 18 yrs old.
As a mother of 2 I feel that you have to give your kids some room to grow. Not to much room but enough space. It's kind of a reward for them for all they do for you and with their school.
As a mother of 2 I feel that you have to give your kids some room to grow. Not to much room but enough space. It's kind of a reward for them for all they do for you and with their school.
I am happy to let my 14 year old go to the cinema, and also my 11 year old too, PROVIDING I drop them at the cinema and collect them too, but they can't leave the building. My 11 year old is more worried about the world, and I wouldn't let him go to a shopping centre alone, but my 14 year old, I think would be fine. I, would also rather them be at a friends house, or in our house if there was a group of them together. My 14 year old, also bicycles locally, and I am always frightened that someone could knock them over, and yesterday this nightmare happened. Our son, was cycling to a bike repair shop, and a man did not see him as he was reversing out of his driveway.Luckily, he had his helmet on ( which is a bone of contention as he says it is not cool to wear it!), and he landed on his hand. Luckily, nothing broken, but he caught a fright! I think that it is always hard as they grow up, as they need to get their independance, but it is hard knowing how much to give at the right time.
kathyrose said:
As tr444 said. Better my kids hate me alive than dead.
Someday mine will be older and wiser. As my youngest said to me just last week, "If I ever have a daughter she will not be allowed to do all of the stuff I do!" (A recent event sure changed her way of thinking and I am sure glad!)
I think there are too many variables to just give a blanket answer.
IMO, it depends on the individual child, their friend(s), what type of neighbourhood you live in, where they want to go and at what time etc..
Because we live in a quiet residential area, I would let my child visit a friend of theirs, alone, at the age of 6 or 7; as long as the friend lived within a house or two and I knew the parents and trusted them.
However, my view would be very different if I lived in a large city, if I didn't know the friend's family, or if it was after dark.
IMO, it depends on the individual child, their friend(s), what type of neighbourhood you live in, where they want to go and at what time etc..
Because we live in a quiet residential area, I would let my child visit a friend of theirs, alone, at the age of 6 or 7; as long as the friend lived within a house or two and I knew the parents and trusted them.
However, my view would be very different if I lived in a large city, if I didn't know the friend's family, or if it was after dark.
I hit my teen years in the 90s when things were a little safer. I was going to the mall by myself with friends when I was in 6th grade (movies too). If it was daytime parents would let us take the bus...nighttime movies and we'd have someone drop us off and pick us up.
By 15 I was pretty much on a no-curfew rule.
I was a pretty wild child though....my parents tried (oh so very hard) and tried but I was just uncontrollable (I'm better now lol I grew up!).
If I had a kid now....I would probably be much stricter...things are way too crazy now with all of the sexual assaults, etc. we hear of!
By 15 I was pretty much on a no-curfew rule.
I was a pretty wild child though....my parents tried (oh so very hard) and tried but I was just uncontrollable (I'm better now lol I grew up!).
If I had a kid now....I would probably be much stricter...things are way too crazy now with all of the sexual assaults, etc. we hear of!
My 15, 13 and 12 year old GIRLS
get privileges based on the situation. The older you are the more you get to do without the parents.
The 15 year old can go to the movies or the mall w/ friends for a couple hours. We usually drive one way, sometimes I even go with and wander alone-thank goodness.
She already knows that if she screws up she WILL NOT be getting a drivers license when she turns 16! Always have a secret weapon when you have a teenager.
A very good friend of mine always says make your kids think you're just a little crazy so they think twice before doing something stupid!
get privileges based on the situation. The older you are the more you get to do without the parents.The 15 year old can go to the movies or the mall w/ friends for a couple hours. We usually drive one way, sometimes I even go with and wander alone-thank goodness.
She already knows that if she screws up she WILL NOT be getting a drivers license when she turns 16! Always have a secret weapon when you have a teenager.
A very good friend of mine always says make your kids think you're just a little crazy so they think twice before doing something stupid!