JOKE thread! Need a laugh? Add one or just read!

[Swanky]

Sometimes I need a good laugh, don't you?
My Dad sent me this, he thinks it's funny to send blonde jokes to his blonde daughters!

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says,
"Please come over here and help me.
I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to
get it started."
Her boyfriend asks,
"What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blond says,
"According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the
puzzle.

She lets him into her apartment and shows
him the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box.
He then turns to her and says,
"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not
going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a
tiger."
He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a
nice cup of tea,
and then.....he sighed.
"Let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box............"


Add one if you have a good one, it's been a l o n g week!

 

[Loganz]

ROFLMAO - that is very cute - I have no blond friends to send this to, damn.

 

[Swanky]

LOL! But don't you have brunette friends that like to make fun of us blondes?

 

[Loganz]

Does it count that I highlight my hair wishing I was a blond.

 

[fayden]

ok i got one. my 9th grade english teacher told this joke to my class.

a vampire walks into a bar.
he sits down and says to the bartender, "a boiling cup of water please."
the bartender looks at him, "that's it? you sure?"
"yes, i'm sure" says the vampire.
bartender looks at him weird, "alright, sure, whatever you say."

he turns his back on the vampire and pours out a glass of boiling water and slams it on the counter.

the vampire reaches in his breast pocket and pulls out a bloody tampon and says, "tea time!"

hahahaha.

 

[Swanky]

OMG Fayden! GROSS!!!!!!

LMAO!

 

[bella1]

ROFL!! Totally makes sense and that is GROSS!!!

ok i got one. my 9th grade english teacher told this joke to my class.

a vampire walks into a bar.
he sits down and says to the bartender, "a boiling cup of water please."
the bartender looks at him, "that's it? you sure?"
"yes, i'm sure" says the vampire.
bartender looks at him weird, "alright, sure, whatever you say."

he turns his back on the vampire and pours out a glass of boiling water and slams it on the counter.

the vampire reaches in his breast pocket and pulls out a bloody tampon and says, "tea time!"

hahahaha.

 

[USCgerl]

How much did the pirate pay for his earrings?






A buccaneer

 

[USCgerl]

This ones for Fayden....

What did the tampon say to the other tampon?




Nothing..they were both stuck up *****es.
(Sorry if this offends anyone...just a joke!)

 

[fayden]

LOL. hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! good one uscgerl.

 

[Prada's Meadow]

Toilet Paper
Whats Dumb ? Instructions on Toilet Paper.

Whats Dumber than that ? Reading it.

Whats Even Dumber ? Reading It & Learning Something.

Whats the Dumbest of all ?

Reading it and having to correct something you've been doing wrong.

 

[IntlSet]

OMG, that first one Swanky posted is hilarious.

 

[IntlSet]

You guys are funny, thanks for sharing your jokes. I haven't heard any good ones lately or else I'd post!

 

[sayhitoromes]

lol omg I can't believe your teacher told this one!

ok i got one. my 9th grade english teacher told this joke to my class.

a vampire walks into a bar.
he sits down and says to the bartender, "a boiling cup of water please."
the bartender looks at him, "that's it? you sure?"
"yes, i'm sure" says the vampire.
bartender looks at him weird, "alright, sure, whatever you say."

he turns his back on the vampire and pours out a glass of boiling water and slams it on the counter.

the vampire reaches in his breast pocket and pulls out a bloody tampon and says, "tea time!"

hahahaha.

 

[Swanky]

I can NEVER remember jokes, but I love hearing them!