All I can say is, thank GOD I'm moving away in a week! For those of you who don't know . . . I love my mother, but she has the most toxic personality when we're arguing. She's the type of person that likes to hit below the belt. And the maddening thing is, she usually mentions my weight and it has nothing the hell to do with what we're arguing about! Then she uses the "You're just mad because I'm telling the truth" defense. That is total bullsh:censor: t! I could tell her, "I'd rather be fat than incredibly stupid" and use that same defense, but when I do it, it's "so inappropriate" for some reason! And she'll tell her family members about me so judging from her side of the story, I'm this uncontrollable juvenile delinquint that needs to be locked up, but in reality, I'm trying to do the best that I can and it's REALLY difficult when someone hurls verbal abuse at you. And I'm considered 'uncontrollable' because I don't bow to her every psychotic, unreasonable whim! Like, if we don't do it entirely her way, then we're wrong! For the past couple days, everything she has to say to me has been either an insult, an instruction or a discussion about something. I've gotten everything from people my size shouldn't wear high heels to she's afraid I'm never going to lose weight to I'm really out of shape. And after pissing me off all day she had the absolute GALL to show me an article about how coloring my hair could cause cancer. (Or something, I really wasn't paying attention.) I've been losing weight. She just thinks I'm a failure because I eat things she doesn't approve of. (I'm an adult. I watch what I eat all day, and if I want to eat an entire bag of goldfish crackers, that's my business!) I'm trying to lose weight for me, not her, because I'm tired of basing weight loss on whether or not she's going to be affectionate towards me! It's like, she practically calls me a fatass, and then turns around and says, "You're beautiful." (Well, DUH! But don't make comments about my appearance. I don't like when you mention my weight yet AGAIN and I don't like it when you confuse me later by saying I'm beautiful!) I haven't really gotten around to packing yet. I've packed, like, four boxes. I started to and thought I could do some on Tuesday after a doctor's appointment. Well, I was stuck in the car with her all day, and by the time I got back I just wanted to leave the house, she made me so FURIOUS! I keep telling myself "just one more week and then I don't have to deal with her if I don't want to, " but I still find I need to have my dad come talk me off a ledge. I hurled an apple the other night because she would NOT shut up about something! (I was aiming for her, but totally missed!) She asked if she could come into my room and before I said yes, she came in. I forgot to hide the empty bag of goldfish. She saw it and goes, "You can tell what the look on my face means, right?" I just said, "Yes, now please leave my room." What I WANTED to say was, "F:censor: K OFF!" I can't take it anymore. Every time she talks to me I get so f:censor: ing tense!