I've had enough.

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  1. Hi eveyone, I'm writing to you all to see if I'm doing the right thing or if I'm just very sensitive since I'm pregnant.
    Well the issue is with my sister in law. When my husband and I found out we were pregnant we were so excited we called everyone right away. His sister asked to talk to me and she seemed excited, she was crying and was telling me that she loves us a lot. (I've always had issues with my sil) So thats been a month ago, one day when we were all together I was talking to her, and she told me something that bothered me, she said "ever since you married my brother i've always been really worried for you, I hope you don't go through what my mom went through when she was in labor with my brother" i asked what? she said "well she was almost dying because he was such a huge baby, he was like 10 or 15 lbs" I was like omg no she didn't! so i told her, "well your mom lived in a different country where unfortunatly prenatal care wasn't that good" she just shrugged as said "i guess"
    Last week on our second appt where we were able to see the baby, she calls my husband to ask how everything went, then asks to speak with me again. I tell her everything was good. And again she said something that I think was mean, she said "well if everything continues to go well, I'll save money and buy something for him/her. I just laughed and said "ok"
    So I didn't make a big deal about it, all I asked my husband was to please not pass the phone to me anymore when she asks to speak to me especially if it has something to do with the baby.
    I mean the people that supposly love you don't say that stuff, right? I kind of felt like she was expecting us to say something was wrong or thats what she's waiting for.
    I have not had any problems with this pregnancy, thank God, so i'm not sure where her "worries" are coming from.
    So from now on I'm trying to avoid her. What would you do?
     
  2. I am not sure but it seems like she might be a tad jealous and a bit of a hater. My SIL does the same thing with things and she is a hater. Just ignore it and smile and be cheerful
     
  3. Hmm... that's wierd. I think you should just ignore her. I agree with ive_flipped. I think she's jealous or something and trying to stress you out.
     
  4. She seems to be passive aggressive...definitely jealous...ignore her and enjoy your pregnancy!!! And don't take her calls after your dr. appts. anymore :P
     
  5. I agree. Ignore her. She is most likely very jealous of your pregnancy (are they trying to get pregnant and have been unsuccessful?) and your relationship with her brother. Were they very close before you guys got married? Are they close in age? I guess these are factors that could weigh her obnoxious/mean spirited nature.

    I no longer speak to my SIL because she is a religious freak and I am Jewish. So I don't even go there with her anymore. Thankfully, she is not my husband's sister, only the wife of his brother.

    But that's another story for another thread.

    Don't let this person bother you. Just enjoy your pregnancy and be healthy.
     
  6. Thanks eveyone.
    My SIL has her own family. She is married and has 2 kids. A 2 yr old and 4 month old. When she became pregnant with her first, I remember she told me really upset that her husbands SIL copied her because now they are pregnant too. And now that she just had her second, she said it once again that me and our other SIL (my husband's brother's wife) is also pregnant. She says it in a way like if its not fair for her and her newborn.
    Also my SIL (my husband's sister) had the first boy in the family which is her 4 month old. My other sister in law is now also having a boy after years of wanting one (she has 3 girls) So my SIL told her SIL, "oh i didn't want to tell you this but my friend was told she was having a boy, she had her baby two days ago and it was a girl"
    She's just evil!
    And no my husband and his sister have never been close. For what I hear she was pretty mean as an older sister.
     
  7. Just stay clear and know this is the type of person she is. It can get to be even a game of "what will your sister say this time?" kind of thing. That's what I've had to do with my MIL. And you knwo what? Once I became "mostly" less upset by her antics, our relationship is better because I don't let her bother me as much. Of course, I've had 16 years to get over it!
     
  8. She sounds like a spiteful piece of work. Ignore her, don't give her the satisfaction of upsetting you. Smile, continue to be fabulous and leave her to her nasty ways.

    Congratulations on your pregnancy.
     
  9. She sounds immature, self-centered, and most definitely passive-aggressive! It's amazing how many people out there who are legal adults but who still act like they're in high school. (even scarier that they are parents!) Keep your distance and don't take anything she says to heart. Congrats on your pregnancy!
     
  10. Thank you! Yes you guys are right I should just ignore her. Its just that now I've realized I should stop trying to became "friends" with her. Everytime I try she gives me a good reason to stay away!
     
  11. I agree that you should ignore her, but just wanted to point out a different perspective. My father in law is completely socially maladjusted. He has really substantial issues and doesn't relate to people well. When I was pregnant, we waited a while to tell him. When we did so, at lunch, the first thing he did was tell me about how DH's mom and he had a stillbirth between DH and his sister. The next time I saw him, he made a similar comment to your SIL that he hoped the baby lives, but he doesn't believe in getting presents until the baby is actually born. I know in his case, while the comments were very hurtful and scary, they were not at all intended to be that way.

    Maybe your SIL had a bad experience yourself, or their mom really did, or friends or someone has, and that's colored her reactions to pregnancy news. I think you need to ignore the comments regardless, and I don't think you need to try to be friends with her (I have long since come to terms that I will not be close to DH's family.) I wanted to point out that your SIL's behavior might not be out of malice, though, just since that may make you feel better.
     
  12. My MIL is like that. It could be Sunny and a gorgeous day and she would find the fault in that. For instance, I just had a baby and she said I hope he is colicy. After shooting daggers at her, I told her politely as I could to get the F*** out of my room. Not a positive person at all.
     
  13. poof be gone...she is not worth the worry!
     
  14. Your MIL said she HOPES your baby is colicky? How evil is that!!!???! I would sooooo not have her around any more than necessary.

    I don't get MIL's like that. I mean, don't they get that if they want to be a part of their son's life they have to place nicey with the wife because really, she's the one typically who takes the effort to keep family ties close - sons don't typically.
     
  15. maybe there is something she is trying to tell you and she cant quite get to tell you..
    maybe is something genetic that runs in the family and she is trying to feel you out to see if you know or bring it up.. thats my first thought...
    my aunt did this to me when I was in the hospital, she kept talking about how bad a c-section was and just wait your going to be in so much pain and all this... and guess what I was fine... some people mean well, but just dont sometimes know what to say......