Is it normal to be told your too girly

C

Chanel lover26

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Sep 18, 2020
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#1
Okay I am 26 and I absolutely love being a girl. A little background on myself I grew up in an orthodox Jewish family and I wasn’t allowed to dress as I wanted, nor was I allowed to wear makeup or have jewelry. So growing up I would go to school in long dresses dresses and skirts. I grew up in NYC and would always see women wearing makeup and walking around with handbags and wearing skirts, colorful dresses, dresses, high heels. I really hated growing up and not being allowed to embrace my femininity, I would beg my parents to let me dress how I wanted, wear makeup and get my ears pierced, but they told me no. However they made a deal with me that once I turned 18 I would be allowed to dress how I wanted, and once I turned 18 in the summer of 2012, I did just that. I will never forget right after my 18th birthday I got my ears pierced, went to a beauty salon and had a makeup artist do my makeup for the first time, I then went on a shopping spree of epic proportions.

I went to Macys, H&M, Bloomingdales, Lord & Taylor, Louis Vuitton, Chanel, Sephora and the UGG store in NYC. I should mention that I had been given an $18,000 dollar trust fund to be opened by the time of my 18th birthday by my grandpa, so that's where I got all the money from. I also still do speak with my parents even if they don't agree with my lifestyle and how I dress. Either way over the past 8 years I have always been told that I'm extremely girly, even by other girls, I mean my boyfriend jokes that I'm pretty much the color pink if it was a person. In college I was known as the girl who had the most shoes, clothes and makeup in her dorm room. I think that the main reason that I love all things related to hairstyles, shoes, dresses, handbags, makeup, shopping, wine, reality tv shows and Nicholas Sparks books and movies is that growing up I was never allowed to act girly. So I think that once I turned 18 I went a little overboard when it came to being a girly girl. I'm just curious to know if anyone else has been described as being too girly.
 
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#3
Chanel lover26 said:
Okay I am 26 and I absolutely love being a girl. A little background on myself I grew up in an orthodox Jewish family and I wasn’t allowed to dress as I wanted, nor was I allowed to wear makeup or have jewelry. So growing up I would go to school in long dresses dresses and skirts. I grew up in NYC and would always see women wearing makeup and walking around with handbags and wearing skirts, colorful dresses, dresses, high heels. I really hated growing up and not being allowed to embrace my femininity, I would beg my parents to let me dress how I wanted, wear makeup and get my ears pierced, but they told me no. However they made a deal with me that once I turned 18 I would be allowed to dress how I wanted, and once I turned 18 in the summer of 2012, I did just that. I will never forget right after my 18th birthday I got my ears pierced, went to a beauty salon and had a makeup artist do my makeup for the first time, I then went on a shopping spree of epic proportions.

I went to Macys, H&M, Bloomingdales, Lord & Taylor, Louis Vuitton, Chanel, Sephora and the UGG store in NYC. I should mention that I had been given an $18,000 dollar trust fund to be opened by the time of my 18th birthday by my grandpa, so that's where I got all the money from. I also still do speak with my parents even if they don't agree with my lifestyle and how I dress. Either way over the past 8 years I have always been told that I'm extremely girly, even by other girls, I mean my boyfriend jokes that I'm pretty much the color pink if it was a person. In college I was known as the girl who had the most shoes, clothes and makeup in her dorm room. I think that the main reason that I love all things related to hairstyles, shoes, dresses, handbags, makeup, shopping, wine, reality tv shows and Nicholas Sparks books and movies is that growing up I was never allowed to act girly. So I think that once I turned 18 I went a little overboard when it came to being a girly girl. I'm just curious to know if anyone else has been described as being too girly.
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There's a lot worse things to be considered or called than "too girly"- forget about it...….
 
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#4
Chanel lover26 said:
Okay I am 26 and I absolutely love being a girl. A little background on myself I grew up in an orthodox Jewish family and I wasn’t allowed to dress as I wanted, nor was I allowed to wear makeup or have jewelry. So growing up I would go to school in long dresses dresses and skirts. I grew up in NYC and would always see women wearing makeup and walking around with handbags and wearing skirts, colorful dresses, dresses, high heels. I really hated growing up and not being allowed to embrace my femininity, I would beg my parents to let me dress how I wanted, wear makeup and get my ears pierced, but they told me no. However they made a deal with me that once I turned 18 I would be allowed to dress how I wanted, and once I turned 18 in the summer of 2012, I did just that. I will never forget right after my 18th birthday I got my ears pierced, went to a beauty salon and had a makeup artist do my makeup for the first time, I then went on a shopping spree of epic proportions.

I went to Macys, H&M, Bloomingdales, Lord & Taylor, Louis Vuitton, Chanel, Sephora and the UGG store in NYC. I should mention that I had been given an $18,000 dollar trust fund to be opened by the time of my 18th birthday by my grandpa, so that's where I got all the money from. I also still do speak with my parents even if they don't agree with my lifestyle and how I dress. Either way over the past 8 years I have always been told that I'm extremely girly, even by other girls, I mean my boyfriend jokes that I'm pretty much the color pink if it was a person. In college I was known as the girl who had the most shoes, clothes and makeup in her dorm room. I think that the main reason that I love all things related to hairstyles, shoes, dresses, handbags, makeup, shopping, wine, reality tv shows and Nicholas Sparks books and movies is that growing up I was never allowed to act girly. So I think that once I turned 18 I went a little overboard when it came to being a girly girl. I'm just curious to know if anyone else has been described as being too girly.
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'Too girly' is a completely subjective judgement - a matter of taste. You are 'too girly' for their liking - which is on them, not on you. You are just girly enough for yourself, and imo that is all that matters. Please don't let other's opinions keep you from dressing and looking the way you want to (other than staying within your company dress code, if that applies). To me it's no different than someone telling you a dish is too spicy, or too sweet; but you taste it and think it's great - not too spicy or too sweet. If they think a food is too spicy, they don't have to eat it. If they think your look is too girly, they don't have to wear it. But they shouldn't expect their opinion to affect what you eat, or how you look (unless it's a company dress code). :hugs:
 
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#8
earthygirl said:
I think you should talk to a licensed therapist. We do not know you and Someone with professional training may be able to help you with your self-image issues. Good luck to you!
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I didn’t read anywhere that the OP said she was unhappy or had self image issues. She sounds quite happy with herself and her new life in her post. Not sure why you would say that.
 
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#9
She clearly is seeking validation from strangers about whether she is too girly. That is a self image issue. I just thought it may help her to talk to someone who is trained and qualified to help her. That’s all. I don’t think I said anything offensive. Nothing wrong with seeing a therapist. I hope I answered your question.
 
#10
In your 20s, it’s normal to wonder why people do or say things that may make you question yourself. Planting an idea that someone needs professional help isn’t kind or necessary.

OP, please take note. No matter what you do (including how you dress) there will always be someone making a comment about it. So the best thing for you to do is to continue to do what makes you happy. You’ll be criticized either way.
 
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#11
bisousx said:
In your 20s, it’s normal to wonder why people do or say things that may make you question yourself. Planting an idea that someone needs professional help isn’t kind or necessary.

OP, please take note. No matter what you do (including how you dress) there will always be someone making a comment about it. So the best thing for you to do is to continue to do what makes you happy. You’ll be criticized either way.
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I didn’t not “plant” an idea in her head. I suggested that she may benefit from talking to someone who is trained in this area which I feel may actually help her more than hearing from strangers on a purseforum. Jeezzz...I don’t think it’s KIND of YOU to make assumptions about my intentions. Anyway, as I stated previously, there is absolutely nothing wrong with seeing a therapist. Unfortunately, people like you perpetuate the stigma that there is by having such a negative reaction to what was merely a suggestion.

I’m not going to engage with you any further as I’ve already provided enough clarification. Peace out!
 
#12
Wow speaking to a therapist isn't a bad thing or a bad suggestion!! Therapy is HEALTHY! Everyone should have a therapist that they talk to about things like this.
OP you said yourself that you went a little overboard probably because of your orthodox background. That answers your question.
 
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#13
There are many ways of expressing oneself as a woman. Express yourself how you like, so wonderful that you have embraced what your heart has desired for so long.

Perhaps, because you couldn't express yourself as a child, you assert your independence in the way you dress in a strong way. I think that is very healthy.

Someday, you may be one day able to tone-down the ultra-'feminine' without losing yourself on the inside, and then on another go full megawatt, go-girl glamour 'girls-ness' if you feel like it.
 
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#14
I can't say that it would offend me, but I understand that this isn't the best description, even if someone tried to soften criticism / compliment in this way
 
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#15
Yes, it’s normal for others to say too this, that or girly. at various points in my life I’ve been considered quite girly :biggrin:. In middle school, I was one of those girls who brought a trunk of shoes to summer camp. some decades you might feel more girly than others.

many tpfers understand the logic of spendIng a large amount of money on self girly expression (at any age) from clothes, shoes, watch, piece of jewelry, handbag or graduation present.

This season chanel came out with a big ruff really pink sweater Jacket that I found extremely tempting. I interpreted this to mean that I needed something especially cheery due to covid Since I’m not normally a pink person.

don’t see anything wrong with the therapy suggestion or asking for the thoughts of nosey and opinionated but friendly Tpfers :biggrin:

Welcome!
 
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