Is it normal for my 4-year old daughter...

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  1. I don't know if this is a concern, but I'm just curious about my 3 & 4 year old daughter's behavior.

    My grandparents moved in with us because they can't take care of themselves. They have their own "apartment" -- we gave them our master suite & convert it to a studio apartment for their privacy. After 3 months, I can tell that there's tension for my daughters being in their room. My 4 year old and 3 year old daughters come to their room & play everyday. My grandparents tend to talk & ask them alot of questions. The kids tends to ignore their numerous questions. When me & grandparents talk to each other, my daughters disrupt the conversation and wants me to help them or answer their questions. My grandparents gets really upset & frustrated. They said that the kids are disrepectful & not disciplined. I tried telling them that they are too young & we try, but they tend to forget. My grandparents think that I'm just making excuses for their "rude" behaviors. Is this normal that kids not answer back or disruptive when I'm talking to others? I try to talk to my daughters, but they don't seem to understand--too you to understand. Has anybody been thru this? My grandparents are over-reacting and thinks that I'm training them right. My daughters are well behaved and pick up all their toys, and say "thank you". I don't see anything wrong....:confused1:

    Thanks for your advice.

  2. Your daughters are young and I don't think they can fully comprehend not to interupt when you are talking to someone. My daughter still does this and she is 8. She gets too excited and wants to tell me things, I correct her and she waits but she still does it. Having others in the house does cause tension. It is hard. I also think children can pick up negative vibes and when people talk bad on them. I hear from my Dad my kids have NO MANNERS---and they are wonderful kids who never had a complaint from anyone. They do get upset to hear my Dad say things to them.
    I wish you the best. Just praise your girls and let them know how much you love them because no matter what a simple few negative words saying they are bad or something can deeply hurt them. I think there is no hope in talking to parents, they will think they are right.
  3. I think its normal too that children that young interupt conversations. Like gilianna said, they may be excited and want your attention. Also, my daughter does this too when I am on the phone and she's 10 (very annoying, lol). Maybe because they are older they forgot what its like with little ones.
  4. it is very normal for kids to want to be involved in the conversation. It is also normal for them to interrupt your discussions with your grandparents, or for anyone for that matter if they feel threatened in any way. What I mean by that is the tone of the voice in which you may be speaking, they want your full attention on them and not on anyone else; etc.

    You do have to teach them that it is not o.k. to interupt "big people" talk unless it is an emergency. They need to understand that as much as you love themtheyou are having a conversation with "grownups" and once that has ended, they will have your full attention again.
  5. Thanks Gillianna & Lorebunde for your kind advice.

    It hurts me 10x more to hear someone talk bad about my children. I guess I'm a VERY-VERY definsive mother. I try to tell my grandparents that they've never lived and raised kids before, so they never know what to expect. To make a long story short, they are my step-grandparents. They've never had any kids & they've helped me & mentored me since I was 8 (but we never lived together). They are both 95 years old and I guess I can blame it on their old age. What bothers me is that they compare my kids to others that have visited them. Of course, the other kids are more behaved and respectful to them:cursing:. The only difference is that they see those kids about 1 hour, not everyday when they have their bad side.
  6. I have 3 and 4 year olds, too, and I can tell you that it's developmentally normal for them to be unable to understand that interrupting grown-up conversations is rude. My 4 year old is starting to "get it" and will obey if I tell him to wait, but my 3 year old is still self-centered in that toddler way, and *demands* to be heard and will interrupt my conversations all the time. She refuses to wait to be heard. ("mommy! mommy! mommy! MOMMMEEEE!!!!")

    This is a good time to teach them that interrupting is not OK, but just don't expect them to "get it" immediately and change their behavior. That will take time and some developmental maturation. You should talk to your grandparents and tell them that you're in the process of teaching them not to interrupt, but it won't happen overnight due to their young age.
  7. okay I might be a little slow here but how did they ever become Grandparents if they never raised any kids biologically or adopted? :confused1:
    and I think parents tend to tune out their kids behaviors out a little. what is obvious to others is not always obvious to them. not interrupting conversations is something that needs to be taught to them but they will eventually learn, especially if you are consistent in correcting them. kids are very self centered and its all about them so they don't quite get that all the attention cannot be on them all the time. they'll learn though. and your GP are going to have to be patient although I believe patience pretty much runs out by the time you are 95! I kind of feel for them too.
  8. It is very normal for a 4 year to be impulsive and interrupt others. However, in my opinion 4 years old is old enough to start controlling their impulses and learn to speak in turn. :smile:
  9. I thinks it's normal. But they CAN be taught. I have a 3 year old niece and every time she interrupted me I'd always say "Auntie's talking right now you have to wait until I finish." And oh, boy she didn't like it at first. And she kept doing it and I kept reminding her. Now she waits until I finish or she'll call my name and I'll tell her to wait a sec but she no longer gets upset about it.
  10. Yes, this is very normal! My 3 year old son does this all the time especially when DH and I are trying to have a converstation. When he interupts and won't wait when we ask him to "please wait until mommy and daddy are done talking" We just patiently explain to him that we're trying to talk and he needs to wait until we are done and then it will be his turn.
  11. Possibly the energy your children have at that age and playing in the room where your grandparents are is wearing on them.

    We had my 8 year old grand-nephew over for a few hours one day recently and while I love this kid to death and he's VERY polite, I was exsausted by all his questions, from "where did you get this?" to "How come your bed is out in the livingroom" to "Why doesn't the little dog like kids" to "what are you typing" to... well, you get the idea. I could NOT imagine having TWO kids in my house!

    When your grandparents were young, (Back in the 1910's) children were seen and not heard. Many older folks think parents now are too permissive and that children are too pushy. Just remember it's generational.

    BTW< I think it's totally honorable of you to put them up under your roof, making do so they have the best. I applaude you.
  12. This behaviour is normal. My children did it and like ellacoach said, you let them know that they need to wait until you have finished speaking and then it will be their turn. It's an opportunity for you to teach them respect and a gift for them to learn it. Sometimes you only need to remind them 500 times... sometimes it's more. Be careful not to become so defensive that you are actually allowing your children to "misbehave" because of the grand"parents" comments. Good luck.

  13. anyone? anyone? bueller? beuller?
  14. It is normal, but you just have to be persistant with them. Keep reinforcing positive behavior and eventually they will get it.
  15. I think your children are "jealous" for your attention.