Is age really just a number? Opinions solicited.

[jstreete]

Honestly, I don't believe in true love. I believe that love is something affected by various external circumstances, therefore it can never be true or pure...

That said, I love this man. I don't know what it feels like to be 'in love' (really don't know what that even means) but I know I care about and look after this man like I do my close family (my mom and sis). Even if we are never in a serious relationship mode, I will want to be in his life for as long as we both have it.

You say you love this man and you care for him like you care for your family. But are you IN love with him? You say you don't want to be without him, so does this mean you have serious romantic feelings for him? Or you can't be without him like you wouldn't want to be without your father or close uncle? Seems like you haven't really figured out what you really feel for this man. If you haven't really thought past a year or two I think you're going to have a big surprise when you finally grow into yourself as a woman. You're only 21, and there's so much more about yourself you need to get to know. I think at this point in your life you should be "soul searching". Sounds so cliche but you'll know what I mean in about a year or two. Goodluck!

 

[beastofthefields]

Maybe someone thinks about a topic, does a search for it, and decides to add to the thread they find instead of starting a whole new thread about the exact same thing?

YEP! That's what I did!!!!!

 

[claudette2]

The older you get, age matters less and less. At 21, however, I think that is still young enough for age to matter quite a bit - especially if the two of you are in such different places in your life (you still being a student and he a working dad with children). If I were you, I would wait until I was graduated from university with a job before I started dating men so much older. If he were a grad student, I think it may be different because you would both be students and more able to relate. Follow your gutt instinct... it is hardly ever wrong!

 

[guccimamma]

i think somebody should slap him, he has no business wasting your youth. your 20s are for fun and freedom, not going through mid life issues with a man who has children your age

unless you are in it for the money, i'd say stay clear

 

[Roo]

Edit: duh, just saw the original post date.

 

[Aslan]

I wonder how Aslan is doing? Aslan are you still seeing him?

Wow, so many new responses?

He seems to have accepted that we will never have a "real" relationship due to our dramatically different lifestyles. I could never fit into his world, and he couldn't fit into mine. His kids have in mind that I'm a horrible person and they don't even know me.

I've been dating someone else, but we still talk. Like someone said in this thread, I think my love for him is not entirely romantic, as a platonic relationship is nearly completely satisfying to me. We have the loveliest, deepest conversations; I could talk to him for hours.

He knows that I'm dating someone else but he still tries to hint that the option is still open for us to get back together. I feel that I am inappropriately "leaning" on the possibility of us getting back together. I know it wouldn't last for the long run, but the thought is that while it lasts, it is oh -so-comforting. I know I need to grow up and stop playing this game, but it is very hard. Sometimes I have the fear in my mind that some other woman is going to take him away from me forever, and my heart breaks to think of it.

(and i find it so crazy that i can talk about this with a bunch of "strangers" and not feel wierd!)

 

[PinkSuadeSoho]

I have dated men much older than me in the past. We are talking a 20 year + difference. I never found it to be odd or uncomfortable. In fact, they didn't seem to be interested in game playing, and had an understanding and patience level. Something a lot of younger men don't seem to have. Mind you, this isn't true about all younger men.