I just can't tell you ladies how you have touched my heart with all your kind and well thought out advice and encouragement...thank you!! I wont keep this thread running because I don't want to bring everyone down on such a fun forum, but I just wanted to be able to give a little more info and ask a few follow up questions. I am pretty certain he is/has cheated. I got info from a close friend and found some information where it shouldnt be (Maybe I can be more specific when I am not so scared). He is my HS sweetheart, we have been married for almost 31 years!!!! I was VERY young (not pregnant), just in love. If this is true, it's the bottom line for me, too much to take. He has been abusive on and off (it happens in clusters and then not again for years) and done some other bad things. But each time a promise of reform. An affair would be my last straw. I helped put him through ALL school (12yrs). Our children are now young adults. I gave my life, my heart, my soul, and clearly too much of myself untill I all but dissappeared . Now I am empty and scared out of my mind. BUT, I WILL take all your advice. Keep my mouth shut, prepare, gather info and seek advice. That is my question....how does one find all the top divorce lawyers??? I have NO friends that I can really trust. No one to ask. I live in a smallish community and church environment where gossip travels very fast. I am even scared on the computer. Does this forum leave any cookies?? I am confused and scared about the money. Can he just take it all and leave me??? My name is on the accounts too, but we can each write checks without the other knowing. Which book tells me how to protect the money?? A couple titles were mentioned. Every night I have panick attacks, thats why I am up on the computer. Thank you again if you can answer my questions.....I am SO grateful!!!