Incomplete miscarriage... if you've been thru it -- how did you handle it?

  1. Hello...
    I haven't posted in here that I was pregnant because DH and I were waiting to cross the 1st trimester mark. Now I'm faced with a decision to make and I'm hoping someone here has walked in these shoes before and can give me some solid advice.

    I had an incomplete miscarriage - found out at the emergency room yesterday. I was 9 weeks pregnant. My doctor scheduled me for a D&C later today - but told me I can either do that or just let my body expel the fetus naturally. He said either way carries risk... but either choice would be fine. I am the type who likes to do things naturally, and since my sister in-law almost bled to death from a D&C... I'm leaning towards this method.

    Has anyone had an incomplete and had to wait for this to happen? I can handle pain, so that's not what I'm afraid of... I'm more concerned about getting an infection if my body takes too long to begin this process.

    If you have any experiences you could share on this... it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance. :heart:
  2. Major TMI alert:

    I had an incomplete m/c in March. The baby had stopped growing around 6 weeks, but I was 11 weeks along. My Dr. wouldn't let me schedule a D&C until I had 'thought about it' for a week. Yeah, I switched Drs for this pg. Before I could schedule the procedure I had the miscarriage naturally. It was bad because I was out of town for work and was by myself. I had maybe 8 hours of hemoraging (more than 3 pads an hour of bleeding and some large clots) and god-awful contractions (they gave me vicodin at the ER). I think the scariest thing was that I was alone and at a career fair where I was supposed to meet and greet (and smile and not bleed all over everything). Had I been at home with DH I don't think it would have been as bad. Then I had period bleeding for about a week. They did an u/s to make sure after the fact that I had passed all the tissue and I had.

    I'm very sorry for your loss.
  3. First I'm so sorry...this is so hard. I had this happen to about 6 years ago. I decided to do it naturally as well too. It happened to me while I was traveling back from work, I was in the tram and bleeding... Luckily I was not very far from home (half an hour) but my clothes were full of blood and I felt terrible, people were looking at me. When I got home ... indeed very bad contractions for a long time and lots and lots of blood cloths . It was very frightening. I was alone too when this happened.

    As it is hard to plan when you do this naturally I hope you will be able to have someone to help you and guide you.

    If I think back on it I now wished I hadn't done it naturally, so I could have done it with my husband in a nicer surrounding.
  4. Oh my goodness Sanguar... this doesn't sound good. I'm sorry you had to go through that alone... it sounds extremely scary. I know this will be TMI too... but Tues. nite I had the initial cramping w/contractions - very bizarre - I figured out that's what they were when they started coming every 5 mins.. at the same time, I was bleeding alot - but I wouldn't move from the BR - I didn't know if I was going to throw up or if things were going to come out another way - it was very scary - this went on for about 3 1/2 hours - and I was alone too. Then I finally managed to lie in bed. I went to the ER the next morning - and now my doc has the surgery scheduled and I need to be there in an hour if I want to do it. What you said about the hemorraging scares me. It sounds like the 2nd time around was alot worse and scarier than the first. If you had to do it again... would you go this route, or should I just go and do the D&C??? I'm scared after reading alot of stuff on the net now... like this ---

    quote -
    Therapeutic D&C: A D&C is often planned as treatment when the source of the problem is already known. One situation is an incomplete miscarriage or even full-term delivery when, for some reason, the uterus has not pushed out all the fetal or placental tissue inside of it. If tissue is left behind, excess bleeding can result, perhaps even life–threatening bleeding. This is an important reason why your doctor will want to remove any remaining tissue with a D&C. /end quote.

    Please advise if you're still around! thanks!! and again I'm sooooooooooo sorry you went through this.:heart:
  5. Sorry for your lost... miscarriage is traumatic. I did a D&C because I had other problems and my Drs were afraid I had an etopic. But I'm glad I did it, it's less painful physically. It's emotionally hard already, so I would do a D&C and get it over with so I can move on. No matter what, you need your family around you in this traumatic time. Take care.
  6. H&H... I feel for you. :heart: I can't imagine being on the tram and having this happen. And being alone. I can't think of worse circumstances. Although after reading Sanguar's post I think they are both equally upsetting circumstances. I'm so sorry this happened to you... but I thank you for sharing your experience --- I have to decide asap. And my DH is already at work and we had decided against it, but I did not cancel the surgery yet. I think I'm going to call my doctor now.

    When it happened at home -- did you go to the emergency room during all this? Or just stay put? I'm not sure what I will do when this happens if I am at home - or at work. How long did the whole thing last????
  7. Padparasha.. I'm sorry I couldn't react any sooner. By now you probably already had to make a decision. I hope all is okay with you and I'm thinking of you.

    I just stayed home, I took a nice shower & bath... it took a couple of hours, actually I felt that whole day tired and miserable before it happened and I was exhausted in the end. I had a bleeding for a long time afterwards too like you are having your period. My first period however took a long time to come (almost 2 months) and luckily for me the next month I was pregnant again and this time everything went perfect. Though I was constantly afraid it would go wrong again.

    Looking back, because of the sort of dramatic situation, emotionally I wasn't really coping with it the way I needed. I was pretty shocked, as I had no idea what to expect. It is a hard choice... all I wish for you that you don't need to go alone for it and that you can get all the help you need. I would consult with your doctor what to do in such a situation. I hadn't thought about that... so I didn't know what to do or what to expect what was coming.
  8. I had a d&c a few years ago when I was 9 weeks pregnant because of a miscarriage. I started bleeding while on vacation, so dh took me to the ER. It was obvious that there was no heartbeat and I was measuring at 6 weeks. I waited to have the d&C until I returned home a couple days later. The d&c was uncomfortable but fairly quick with only mild cramping. I prefer this to miscarrying over a whole afternoon with painful cramps- something I've also been through.

    My heart goes out to are in my thoughts.
  9. Sorry, I had to leave to go to a meeting at work and just got home. I'd definitely do the D&C if it ever happened again. I was so upset at my Dr. for making me wait "to think it over". I had already been carrying around a fetus that had stopped developing, why should I continue to do so? That was just one of the reasons I switched to a new Dr.
  10. H&H...
    Thanks soooooooooo much for writing back. I did make a decision, and I decided not to do the D&C. My DHs sister almost bled to death from one, so we opted to take our chances on going the natural way. I too have no idea *what* to expect, except for what you and others have written here - a very good idea that it will not be comfortable and I am praying it happens while I'm at home. I just hope it happens like asap. How long after you found out you miscarried, that you actually labored the rest? I'm worried because it's Thursday eve here ... and am hoping to get this out before saturday if at all possible. I just don't want to be caught in a situation where nobody's around if I need medical attention.

    I was able to speak with both my primary physician and my ob right before making my decision which was great. I think my ob wanted to get it over with via the D&C route... but it seemed he really wanted me to decide for myself so he wasn't biased either way. My primary said to expect *alot* of hemorraging... and not to be alone. So that's what I'm prepared for. He also told me not to go out driving around either but to try and stay home. The weird thing is right now I'm not really bleeding at all. So I think when this does come on I will probably bleed alot. And I'm feeling extremely exhausted all of a sudden too - I went out before to sort of prepare for this - I bought food at costco, and a ton of pads!! Now I feel like I just want to go to sleep. So we'll see what happens.

    Thank you for sharing... and for writing again. :flowers: It's also comforting to know that you were able to get pregnant again and everything went well. I'm very happy for you.

    Japster --- thank you for your kind thoughts :flowers: -- I was almost in your situation - I was supposed to be in Maui this week, but for some odd reason I was dangling on making the reservations -- I just wasn't feeling up to going yet - thank goodness I was at home. I can't imagine that happening while on vacation. You were very brave to wait for the D&C and actually fly home that way. I don't know if I could have done that. Weren't you afraid of anything happening on the plane??
  11. Hi Sanguar.. I waited too long b4 posting to the forum. Without the guidance of all of you, DH and I made the decision this morning to just wait it out... then I decided to post in the forum -- I was worried because nobody knew I was pregnant, and I only had like a 30 minute window to get myself to the hospital if I opted to go for the D&C.

    After reading everyone's posts, I probably should have done the D&C. I am hoping this just happens quickly -- How soon after you found out you miscarried did the rest of this happen?? I don't know how long to expect to wait. TIA! :flowers:
  12. I was spotting when we went into the Dr.'s office for an u/s. I had lost the pregnancy about 5 weeks before. I spotted for about 4-5 days, then the heavy bleeding came. It took me about 6 weeks to get my period back, then I conceived again the next cycle.
  13. OMG--- 5 weeks????? And nothing changed and you still thought you had the baby?? You poor thing. That is an incredibly LONG time. I'm so so sorry. :heart:

    I went to the OB last Tuesday the 25th - saw the ultrasound with the baby's heartbeat and all... then this happened 2 days ago - I think I lost the baby on Monday evening - then the bleeding and cramps came on Tuesday at like 3 am... now I was told I am still going to labor the rest of what's there which would be the embryo - it is still in the womb. Could this really go on for many days or even weeks? If I decide I want the D&C... I have to wait now until next Thursday.
  14. I was 17 weeks pregnant and my baby died at 14 weeks. At 17 weeks, I went in for some spotting and they could no longer detect a heartbeat. I had an ultrasound that afternoon (Friday) and it confirmed the baby had died. I waited it out over the weekend and Monday morning, I woke up with actual contractions and heavy bleeding. We headed to the hospital to meet my doc for a D & C. On the way, I felt my stomach burst inside with a contraction and blood flew everywhere. Sorry to be graphic, but it was horrible!!! Luckily we packed towels in the clothes were ruined. I was rushed into the ER and it looked like a horror movie...blood everywhere. If I had it to do over, I would've had the D & C right away. I almost bled to death....had to have a transfusion because my blood pressure was so low. All I remember is the bottom number was in the 40's. It was so traumatic...I can't believe I went on and had my daughter. I have a son and daughter...this happened between the kids. I will not have anymore. I just wanted to have a sibling for my son. I am now terrified of miscarriages!
  15. OMG girlsgottoshop... Ok, now I'm terrified too. That just sounds WAY too scary. OMG, OMG OMG. I cannot imagine that happening. You are so lucky to be alive. :heart::heart::heart:

    I'm glad you were graphic, but I really didn't imagine something so traumatic to be honest. Now I'm worried sick. Shoot. Perhaps I can convince my doc now to do the D&C sooner than next Thursday. Shoot shoot shoot --- I will die if I have to have a blood transfusion. :shocked::shocked::shocked:

    I don't know what to say. I'm sooooooooooooooooo incredibly sorry it happened - and I just didn't imagine it being that bad. That's really really scary. Thank you for writing. :flowers: