Call Dr. Joy Browne.
She is wonderful. I don't know how many PhDs she has in psychology and psychiatry. (I have a BA from an ivy league school and she impresses the heck out of me.)
Dr. Joy has a call-in radio program on weekdays out of New York City. She is smart, good, and very kind hearted. She will give you excellent direction on how to identify the core issue and what to do next.
Do NOT call Dr. Laura. She has zero degrees in psych and is mean as a snake.
See ** for contact info.
Good luck!
I know it's really hard, but it's important that you stand up for yourself. I had three girls when I left my husband and they were 6, 4 and 1 at the time. It was unbelievably frightening because I had no idea if I could make it. I did though and am so much stronger for it now. He used to run me into the ground both verbally and physically - after 15 years we are friendly now - for the sake of the girls and he does try to be a good father. Know this - while it is important to make it work if you can - if you can't (and I gave my marriage almost 8 years trying to make it work) - but if you can't - you CAN make it on your own. I am living proof of that. I had no self esteem at all by the time I left my husband. Within six months of leaving him, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted, I was losing weight, working and felt again like the person I was before I married him. It is scary with young children and so often we feel like we have to stay for their sake, but it's not always even best for them. I know, for my girls, if I had stayed and kept being treated the way I was, that can perpetuate itself - and they might have felt women deserved to be treated like that and may have in adulthood gravitated toward that type of man - which would have been terrible. My girls are strong and independent (oldest just accepted to medical school) - I'd like to think some of that comes from seeing their mom be strong, stick up for herself and make it.
Whatever you choose to do, for the sake of your daughter, stick up for yourself, maintain your self-esteem and your dignity and let you daughter see that. It is the best gift you can give her. I hope you can work it out, but more than that I hope he starts treating you better and that you are able to really kind of demand that he does. I will keep you in my thoughts since I've been through it.
I know it's really hard, but it's important that you stand up for yourself. I had three girls when I left my husband and they were 6, 4 and 1 at the time. It was unbelievably frightening because I had no idea if I could make it. I did though and am so much stronger for it now. He used to run me into the ground both verbally and physically - after 15 years we are friendly now - for the sake of the girls and he does try to be a good father. Know this - while it is important to make it work if you can - if you can't (and I gave my marriage almost 8 years trying to make it work) - but if you can't - you CAN make it on your own. I am living proof of that. I had no self esteem at all by the time I left my husband. Within six months of leaving him, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted, I was losing weight, working and felt again like the person I was before I married him. It is scary with young children and so often we feel like we have to stay for their sake, but it's not always even best for them. I know, for my girls, if I had stayed and kept being treated the way I was, that can perpetuate itself - and they might have felt women deserved to be treated like that and may have in adulthood gravitated toward that type of man - which would have been terrible. My girls are strong and independent (oldest just accepted to medical school) - I'd like to think some of that comes from seeing their mom be strong, stick up for herself and make it.
Whatever you choose to do, for the sake of your daughter, stick up for yourself, maintain your self-esteem and your dignity and let you daughter see that. It is the best gift you can give her. I hope you can work it out, but more than that I hope he starts treating you better and that you are able to really kind of demand that he does. I will keep you in my thoughts since I've been through it.