Im pregnant and have chosen to abort but do i tell him?

houseoftaylor

Member
May 2, 2010
45
0
I'm 23 and recently fell pregnant to a 38 year old guy i was semi seeing. We went out a few times only then he did the vanishing act for a week but started messaging again after that. Its been nearly 3 weeks since i last saw him (I saw him before the vanishing act) and he hasn't indicated he wants to see me again. He blamed that week of silence on ex issues, which i don't think is true. But anyway.

I know i'm going to abort the baby but I'm not sure if i should tell him. Morally he has the right to know. He was a real gent with chivalry on our dates and is pretty mature but i dislike the way he's treated me by being so cold and basically not interested in me anymore. Save myself the chance of being mocked by him ("Are you sure it's mine?", "Thats impossible, it must be someone else's", "So...why are you telling me", "Do us both a favour and get rid of it")

Or have suck it up and tell him?
 
Last edited:

nvie

29 countries...
O.G.
Oct 30, 2006
4,617
3,780
Asia
Oh, this is tough and although it is your decision, he should definitely know about it. If he mocks you, you will be glad to know what kind of person he is. Don't let him intimidate you and I hope everything goes well. :hugs:
 

MistH

Member
Jun 5, 2014
104
0
I feel you should tell him too. You should have to bear the whole burden by yourself. But it's entirely up to you & what you're comfortable with. Good luck, girl.
 

Purseaholic6

Member
Feb 2, 2014
381
11
Wonderland
There are so many people having a hard time trying to conceive and people that are not trying do get pregnant, this is upsetting. Now a days there is no reason for not using protection. You should tell him it is his right to know
 

HauteMama

.
O.G.
Sep 22, 2006
11,456
295
I am going to break from the crowd here and say that if you aren't interested in seeing him anymore, don't tell him. Why give him either the opportunity to mock you or to try to change your mind? Men like this will often go to great lengths to make sure you wouldn't go through with it, only to abandon you later again. I wouldn't take the chance.

Morally it is the right thing to tell him. In reality, however, it is your decision and your decision alone. Don't let him or opinions here sway you if you aren't ready for a child, and don't set yourself up for the guilt trip he may try to inflict.
 

bunnyr

100jellybeans
Jul 17, 2012
2,268
23
I am going to break from the crowd here and say that if you aren't interested in seeing him anymore, don't tell him. Why give him either the opportunity to mock you or to try to change your mind? Men like this will often go to great lengths to make sure you wouldn't go through with it, only to abandon you later again. I wouldn't take the chance.

Morally it is the right thing to tell him. In reality, however, it is your decision and your decision alone. Don't let him or opinions here sway you if you aren't ready for a child, and don't set yourself up for the guilt trip he may try to inflict.

Completely agree. We are talking about reality. By doing the so called right or moral thing, it is for him, not for you. And if he mistreats you in the future again, you bare all the pain. Not him.


Sent from my iPhone using PurseForum mobile app
 

bunnyr

100jellybeans
Jul 17, 2012
2,268
23
I don't believe the whole it's his right to know. If this is a serious relationship (assuming at this stage both persons have seriously thought about/ talked about how to handle these kinds of situations if/ when they come up!) then things would be different and more complicated. Based on the description of him and based on your own feelings towards him, it's not worth the risk.What is he suppose to do with the info? Will he handle it in a way that it wont hurt you?


Sent from my iPhone using PurseForum mobile app
 
Last edited:

AECornell

Mrs. Lawson <3
O.G.
Jul 21, 2008
8,253
785
Brooklyn
I go back and forth on whether you should tell him.

My thought is:
The relationship was casual and there's nothing serious going on between the two of you, so you don't really need to tell him. It's not something either of you want, I'm sure, so just do it without his knowledge. You can tell him afterwards if you feel the need to get it off your chest, but I don't see a need to let him know.

Good luck and wishing you the best :smile:
 

NYCBelle

oh so fabuleuse
O.G.
I am going to break from the crowd here and say that if you aren't interested in seeing him anymore, don't tell him. Why give him either the opportunity to mock you or to try to change your mind? Men like this will often go to great lengths to make sure you wouldn't go through with it, only to abandon you later again. I wouldn't take the chance.

Morally it is the right thing to tell him. In reality, however, it is your decision and your decision alone. Don't let him or opinions here sway you if you aren't ready for a child, and don't set yourself up for the guilt trip he may try to inflict.
Agree
 

boxermom

O.G.
Aug 26, 2006
27,084
591
North Carolina
If it were me, I wouldn't share the information. You're no longer together, he's made it clear he doesn't want to continue a relationship. I just wouldn't, but I'm a very private person.

No reason to bash the OP (as one reply did); we don't know the circumstances and it's none of our business. And I speak as a woman who had a great deal of trouble conceiving.

Hugs, houseoftaylor.
 

merika

Wol
O.G.
Nov 1, 2006
10,405
89
If it were me, I wouldn't share the information. You're no longer together, he's made it clear he doesn't want to continue a relationship. I just wouldn't, but I'm a very private person.

No reason to bash the OP (as one reply did); we don't know the circumstances and it's none of our business. And I speak as a woman who had a great deal of trouble conceiving.

Hugs, houseoftaylor.
Agree with boxermom completely.
 
Top