I'm fessing up.. Feeling guilty...

wellow

wellow

In a bliss
Nov 10, 2005
932
1
#1
I'm feeling kinda low coz of my obsession with bags. I don't know who to turn to.. Like some people, I feel embarrased of my obsession with bags. My boyfriend who spotted me constantly reading this blog and laugh at my obsession is not the best person who I can confide with...

My dad called me this morning and told me that I shopped too much :sad:.. He told me that as much as he can afford everything that I bought, he's not "printing money" too. I'm feeling very guilty right now, and sad at the same time. I like bags... and worse still.. I loveee expensive bags.. Well it's not that I want to blame my parents.. but they're the first one who turns me into bag-a-holic :sad2:.. My mom constantly kept buying designer bags and feel guilty all the time, but whenever she says she's going to stop, she always have more expensive bags to buy. Oh well... maybe because I'm still a college student now, and not working... But then again, my dad told me not to work too, and concentrate on my studies. It's such a contradiction. I'm so sadddd... The sad part is sometimes they compared me to their friends' kids. Well there will always someone bound to be better than me anyway. As much as a perfectionist that I am, the reality is I'm never going to be perfect! And of course, they always say that it's ok that I'm not perfect... Oh well.. I know though that they love me to pieces.. I guess that's alright..

Anyway, the thing that bothers me sometime is that somehow bags have become like an addiction. Well, for me, maybe it's not just bag.. but shopping in general.. oops...:Push:.. Does anybody feel guilty too sometimes when they spent too much? I feel horrible now...

As much as I say I don't want to shop anymore... it'll not last that long.. Maybe a week or two... and I'm having another shopping spree and another guilty moment again... I just can't wait to graduate and make my own money!
 
#2
i do feel guilty from time to time. i think it's because i don't have anybody to shop with. i do not know one sinle person who's into designer accessories. which means nobody understands how on earth i can spend so much money on a bag/shoes/..
i read this book called "the fashionista files" and i loved it so much!! i often laughed but basically for the first time i felt somebody understood me! i'm not alone! lol
i just wish i had some lady to shop with who would say: oh my god, great bag! instead of: how much did you spend this time?
if i don't find somebody soon, i'm moving to hawaii!
is that ok, noriko? ;)
 
#3
I know what you mean about that whole thing, I don't pay my own bills either and lately have been racking up some major ones. I have made the decision to pay for my own watch though :biggrin: With the money I'm making while doing research for my senior project. So I guess thats a start, can't wait until I finish school completely!
 
#4
Even if its your own money, you can still feel that way. My sister and I are in very different places, financially. A few months ago, I emailed her and said "That's it! I'm not spending any more money!". She laughed and wondered where that sentiment came from. Did I keep my promise? Not really. But I think you gotta go cold turkey for a while every once in a while. Its like a fast. You feel all cleansed and deserving when its over.

I gotta say, it must be much harder when its someone else's money. But let's be fair here, I don't work outside my home. But my husband makes it quite clear that 'his' money is OUR money. He buys what he wants. I buy what I want. Just yesterday, he complimented me on a new bag and asked what it cost. I said "Do you really want to know?". He chuckled and said that he guesses he doesn't. But if it were my Daddy asking that question, I'd feel a million times different!

[And I didn't write 'Daddy' to make you guys feel like kids -- that's what I call him! And a cross word or a sideways glance from him still makes me feel like I'm 8 years old!]
 
#5
I probably would feel the same way you do if I was still having my parents help me out. But I think some of those guilty feelings go away when you start making your own money, because after all, you do work hard for it.
 
#6
i finished school, got my own job and i ALWAYS pay my own way. everything in my room i bought. and trust me I still feel guilty everytime i buy something. because i kind of think i should be saving it. saving for a rainy day when i really need it.

a couple of weeks ago i said, ok no more shopping until after christmas, and no more big purchases until my 25th birthday in feb. i hardly lasted 1.5 weeks.

haha!

so yes i think we all need to go to shopaholics anonymous, that's what this should be...
 
#7
Wow, I totally know what you guys are going through. I shop out of my own savings, but sometimes I worry that I have to ask my parents for money for rent and the such. I mean, being a student and trying to make enough money to last is pretty rough ! I want to try to make it on my own, which is why I periodically have to purge and sell some of my purchases. :sad:
 
#8
been there...am there, really. i'm a sophomore in college and last year was all spend spend spend with my parents' money. then towards the end of the year i started to feel bad about it because my parents began incurring some large expenses because of my grandmother's failing health. i could have kept on doing what i was doing, it's not like they couldn't afford it, but they work hard for what they have and what they give me and i felt like a freeloader, particularly since the money i wasted could be used to help pay my grandmother's expenses. it felt wrong to continue taking it.

they bought me a brand new SUV a year ago, they pay my rent and all my tuition and fees no questions asked, and that really felt like more than enough to me, at this point in my life. so i went out and got a job for myself. i work at Best Buy - not glamorous by any means, but i enjoy my work and my coworkers and it feels beyond great to know that i'm mature enough to manage school and work and my finances on my own. the things i buy belong to me and only me.

so i'm a reformed daddy's girl. if i went back, they wouldn't care, they'd be happy to indulge me. but i don't think i could.
 
#10
I completely understand! In this past year, my life was turned upside down. And what did I turn to as my therapy and temporary happiness...the purchase of my new Ferragamo purse (Saks sale), Marc Jacobs purse (NM sale), LV Multi Alma (I made a friend purchase in Europe), LV Cerises wallet, and Juicy bag. All within a span of a few months. :embarasse Hey depression and sales work really well together! What made me feel even worse was how understanding my husband was! So I swore off bags for at least a year just for him and my guilty conscious...

But alas, I don't think it'll last too long. Issamom stated it perfectly, 'But I think you gotta go cold turkey for a while every once in a while. It's like a fast. You feel all cleansed and deserving when its over. ' Joining this blog this past week didn't help either! I really really want and deserve :biggrin: the Chloe Paddington! I almost bought it last night on http://www.sophisticatedspirit.com/, but couldn't decide on if it was too good to be true.

So yeah, I feel ya, but it's something I just can't help, excuses or not I LOVE purses! :love:
 
#11
Issmom said:
^^ Major thumbs up for you! As much as I hope I am raising my children in comfort and luxury and without 'want', I hope they have your attitude!
Click to expand...

thanks for the support! it's hard sometimes (like right now when it's nasty outside and i'd really rather watch pimp my ride than go to work in an hour) but it was definatly the right decision and the right time to make the break from what my parents could do for me. i may eat in the dining hall in order to afford my bags, but you best believe i have the best bag in the whole place!

and i'm sure your children will be as independent (if not more) than me. as far as i can tell from my parents, the key to non-spoiled kids is merely teaching them to not take their material possessions for granted. neither of my parents came from money, they both earned it through being smart, working hard, and gaining respect from those that they work with.

now that i think of it, i really can't say enough about my parents. i'm a lucky girl.
 
#14
I have to say, I felt so guilty with all of my buying that I now justify it by selling the bags on ebay. I buy and look at them and then sell them a week later. I keep some too but the addiction to buying is easier for me to handle knowing I'm going to just sell them and if I don't break even I look at it as therapy. I'm buying my first Paddy and I actually thought about buying all three colors and keeping the one I loved most and selling the other two but I got control of myself (temporarily) and resisted. I actually returned a bag to Nordstrom and felt terrible but that was quickly replaced by excitement when I ordered my Paddy. I don't buy other things though and I don't drive a new car and I live in a very mediocre house so my handbags are the only about me thing I indulge myself in. I can afford whatever I want and I work for it myself (not my husband's money) and I am very generous in my giving so it is okay to love beautiful designer handbags and carry them proudly. My 15 year old does carry a number of my designer handbags but I'm trying to teach her how to care for them and she bought her own Coach and is making payments to me so I hope I'm teaching her right.
 
#15
I always feel guitly buying a new bag! I buy one every other week and I currently live in an apartment w/ my boyfriend and every time I come home my parents are like" ANOTHER PURSE?! HOW MUCH WAS THAT?" It irritates me so when I come home I switch to a purse I have had for a long time so they won't say anything. Even my boyfriend has told me that if I am going to buy a new purse I should sell the old one on ebay and I should only keep 2 or 3 on hand. I agree with him b/c I don't have the money to splurge on $1000 purses like the paddy! I envy you girls who have that kind of money or even buy it b/c I already have $40,000+ in loans and that is just for undergrad. I want to go to pharmacy school and I will surely accumulate so much more loans. On top of that I have my rent, food, living expenses, etc. So I am always feeling guilty even buying a $100-$400 purse because that is half of my paycheck!!! :sad: I agree with you guys that I can't wait to be done with school and can afford to buy the purses I want without sacarfice or feeling any guilt!
 
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