If you have children...should you stay home?

Bagluvluv

Bagluvluv

ALMA HUNTER
O.G.
Aug 16, 2006
4,691
689
#1
I used to be a working mom for almost 10 years....and I thought that it was a good arrangement since with the extra income, My son attended a wonderful private school...and I loved my career and time at work....and the money....

But last year I decided to stay home due to financial stability and b/c I was so tired of doing both....and always missing or not having time to be there for my sons needs...

Now that I am home...I realize that I lost alot of precious time with my son and also missed out on alot of lifes moments b/c of juggling work and home....I will never work full time as long as my son is with me...and to stay home is a sacrafice on the part of the women and not only a burden on the man....

Also, I see now that I had 4 jobs, everyday to do (mother, cook, maid, career women)....but my husband had one....it was unfair in my eyes...now....

How do you guys feel about this...are you going through this??
 
#2
Personally, I don't want to have children.

If I did, however, I would want either myself or my SO to be able to stay home with them until they were at least in the 1st grade.
 
#3
Well I've always wanted to be a stay at home mom, but some women can handle work and kids amazingly so more power to them ;)
I love being at home waiting for my daughter and husband to get back from school/work.
always being there when any of them needs me.
but everyone in this life is different so it's all good ;)
 
#4
it's really important to my husband and i that when we choose to bring children into the world that between the two of us, we can be home with them full time. the fact that our schedules don't allow this yet is actually one of the main reasons why we don't have any children right now.

i completely understand why some women wouldn't want to or cannot give up their careers, but i personally would only have children if i could stay home with them. i know how much i missed my mom (and how much she missed me!) and how much i HATED babysitters...i would want to keep my kids out of that atmosphere as much as possible.
 
#5
I love being home with my children. I had just posted earlier this evening about how I didn't stay home with my older sone but because of problems with my pregnancy and my sons' prematurity I have become a SAHM. Now I also realize I missed alot with my oldest! It makes me feel bad but I am trying to make it up to him now!

I never thought I would be the type to stay home but now I LOVE IT!
 
#6
My husband and I have decided that we are not going to have children...we have a dog that we refer to as "our son"!:smile: If I did have kids, though, I would want to stay at home with them. I'm actually a housewife and I still feel like there's not enough time in the day to get everything done! That's why I so admire women who have kids, cause I don't see how they do it ALL without going insane!!!! My husband and I are very happy with him making the money and me staying home...taking care of the house, the shopping, making sure all bills are paid, etc...! When we first got together I did work, outside the home; that is, and it was exhausting for me cause I worked all day, went straight to the gym afterwards (I'm a workoutaholic!) and then had to do all the stuff I do now at home! It was just too much! My husband wasn't interested in cleaning, doing laundry and all that. Besides, when he did help it ended up being more work for me cause he'd mess something up! We've done things this way now (me at home, him working) for about 7 yrs and couldn't be happier with the arrangement!
 
#7
What the couple wants to do is their choice, and it's cool as long as both parties agree to it.

When I was growing up, my dad worked and my mom stayed home with us. That was their agreement.

The great thing is, women have a choice. They could be the powerhouse career women if they wanted to, or they could be the stay at home soccer mom.

It bugs me that femininists say it sets back the women's movement if a woman stays home. If anything that's going along with the feminist thing. The woman had a choice, and she CHOSE to stay home.
 
#8
Syntagma said:
I love being home with my children. I had just posted earlier this evening about how I didn't stay home with my older sone but because of problems with my pregnancy and my sons' prematurity I have become a SAHM. Now I also realize I missed alot with my oldest! It makes me feel bad but I am trying to make it up to him now!

I never thought I would be the type to stay home but now I LOVE IT!
Click to expand...

Me too, I love being a stay at home mom....and I thought I would hate it...but its not like how I pictured it at all....:yes:
 
#9
ilzabet said:
it's really important to my husband and i that when we choose to bring children into the world that between the two of us, we can be home with them full time. the fact that our schedules don't allow this yet is actually one of the main reasons why we don't have any children right now.

i completely understand why some women wouldn't want to or cannot give up their careers, but i personally would only have children if i could stay home with them. i know how much i missed my mom (and how much she missed me!) and how much i HATED babysitters...i would want to keep my kids out of that atmosphere as much as possible.
Click to expand...

Sounds like you really thought it through...I wish I had that wisdom before when my sweet boy was young.....:crybaby:
 
#10
In an ideal situation (like if my BF makes 1 day enough money to support both of us)
I would like to stay home for let's say the 3 first years of the child, and then work as a freelancer, with flexibility of work time and the possibility to be home.....but I don't know if once I take time off my career I can be accepted back.
My parents both worked (not a career choice, but money needed as my dad had a low income), and my mum had no time for me, w. pressure of work+cleaning+cooking+paying the bills.
That meant no playing together, no birthday parties (in france kids have wednesday off), no event at school when your mum join in, no seing Mum waiting for me after kindergarten.....the other children were " your Mum is waiting for you outside" me : "it's not my Mum it's my nanny (evil woman BTW)"
 
#11
I don't plan on staying home when I have my baby. I plan on going back to school and receiving my degree. Bart has is own business, and works out of his apartment a lot - so he would be able to care for the baby during the 3 or so hours while I'm in school. We've also got a great family that has already offered their services when he is out of town.

I will be home with my baby for the months between I give birth and when school starts (I am due in June, and school starts in October), so that's a good 4 months for me to be home 24/7 and bond with my baby. And I honestly don't think that those couple of hours are too long to be away from baby.

I plan on breastfeeding and pumping. Breastfeeding the baby while I'm home, and Bart (and family!) will bottle feed EBM while I am at school (if necessary).
 
#12
I have actually stayed at home for the past 11 years, since I had my first daughter, and my younger daughter is now 7. I would not have swopped it for the world. Its so important, as you will never get this precious time back, and why have children if a nursery or childminder is going to get the joy (and trauma!!) of your children?
I know alot of people say that they have no choice and they have to work, and if that is truly the case, then ofcourse, nobody has the right to make you feel bad, but ALOT of people that I know, go back to work as it is the easy option, and they like being surrounded by adults - that seems slightly selfish to me :smile:

I had my first interveiw this week in 11 years this week, and its for a part time position, but only now that my youngest has just started juniors have I thought that it would be a good time.

I have loved staying at home, its without doubt the best, most important job I am ever going to have.
 
#13
I don't want to have children. And if I did, I wouldn't want to stay at home with them. But it wouldn't like the child would be alone -- we would either hire a nanny or my bf (by that time hubby) would stay at home.
 
#14
I was fortunate enough to be able to stay at home full time w/ my daughter until she entered 1st grade, then opened my own business, so I only work when she's in school. I've been the "room mom" every year for her class plus I volunteer 1 day a week at her school since kindergarten plus parties, etc. My daughter loves it because her friends can come over to our house after school and play, etc. My hubby only works 14 days a month, so he's home a lot too. We're a very close knit, happy family. It's wonderful that I didn't miss anything w/ my daughter now or when she was a baby. It's not easy being at home all the time, but I think it's very important in a child's development to be cared for by a parent or family member.

We have friends, that both parents work out of choice and their babies and kids are in daycare or afterschool care everyday, how sad. It's a different situation obviously, for financial reasons. But, some woman are much happy working outside the home and if it works for their family, more power to 'em.
 
#15
I think it depends on the woman and the situation. My Mom gave up her dream career and stayed home to take care of my sister and I and that definitely turned out to be a bad idea. I deeply believe that she is the way she is today because she stayed up to take care of us (that and her in-laws treated her like an indentured servant and my Dad wasn't understanding at the time).

I would still continue to work because I always feel strange if I'm not bringing in my own money for anything I spend, even though being a Mom is a full-time job as it is. My SO has agreed that if we get married and have a kid, I will continue to work full-time while he is willing to stay home and free-lance until the kid is old enough to go to school as his line of work does allow more flexibility.

Child(ren) won't be in the picture for a LONG time though (if at all) since I have told my SO that I will not have any unless both of us are making a certain amount of income first ...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top
Back