ideas on how to REALLY pamper someone..

rainyjewels

rainyjewels

eat me
O.G.
Nov 8, 2006
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42
#1
My mom has recently been through more hell than a human should ever be through. It's completely broken my heart to see her go through it, but just yesterday she survived one of the biggest hurdles. She's always been so selfless and has never spent a dime on herself for pure enjoyment and indulgence. She's in another country, but I'm going to see her a in few months...and with all that's happened, I want to really pamper her when she comes...and make her feel beautiful, healthy, and loved so she can begin to put the past behind her and see life with renewed optimism and cheer.

question is, what should i do? everything she has is pretty shoddy because she refuses to spend over $10 on herself, so i want to buy her stuff that she can continuously indulge in. i just don't know where to start, considering i wouldn't want to get stuff that's a matter of personal taste (i.e. a bag, shoes) that she may end up disliking. i was also thinking maybe a spa day or i'll book a high-end salon to do her hair...but i don't want the pampering/indulgence to just last one day...I want her to leave with completely new and luxurious things to continuously enjoy. what do you guys think? i'd love some ideas :yes:
 
#2
Rainy, I'm sorry to hear your mum has had such a tough time, but glad to hear about her latest triumph.

In my experience with my own mum, you may not want to be overly extravagant. My mum doesn't spend much on herself either, and when I try to spoil her, she rarely gets as much enjoyment out of it as I'd like, as she's too busy feeling guilty about how much everything costs and how wasteful she feels I'm being.

Gauge how she feels about all the things you want to indulge her with first. If she thinks $500 for a purse is way too much money, I wouldn't get her a $1,000 bag. If she thinks expensive spas are a waste of $, don't take her to one. In other words, indulge her, but stay within her comfort zone.

Also, I find that indulging my mum means spending time with her. Just being with her, grabbing coffee, going for a manicure, wandering around, sharing laughs and making memories. It doesn't matter if I spend $5 or $500 -- it's my time and attention that she appreciates most.
 
#3
fatefullotus said:
Rainy, I'm sorry to hear your mum has had such a tough time, but glad to hear about her latest triumph.

Gauge how she feels about all the things you want to indulge her with first. If she thinks $500 for a purse is way too much money, I wouldn't get her a $1,000 bag. If she thinks expensive spas are a waste of $, don't take her to one. In other words, indulge her, but stay within her comfort zone.

Also, I find that indulging my mum means spending time with her. Just being with her, grabbing coffee, going for a manicure, wandering around, sharing laughs and making memories. It doesn't matter if I spend $5 or $500 -- it's my time and attention that she appreciates most.
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ita. while you're out, maybe stop in a couple of shops that you think she may like and treat her to a new outfit, shoes, etc. marshalls and stores like that have nice items but at prices she may be more comfortable with! then, you can get her more things, too! have fun & give your mom lots of hugs. she's lucky to have a daughter like you.
 
#4
Rainy, I'm also sorry to hear your mom has been going through a lot but it's so great to see what a great daughter you are.

I completely agree with fatefullotus. My mom would never in a million years take herself to a spa and the first time I took her she was so resistant on going. But she really enjoyed herself because going to the spa not only pampered her and made her feel relaxed and rejuvenated, we were able to have a good day of just us being relaxed and just talking and bonding again. I think the Spa would be a great idea. You can also take her out for good eats and also if you want to shower her with gifts take her around to shop around. I think the shopping around and spending time together is what she'll cherish but if she finds something she likes then you can get it. I know when I buy my mom designer things she doesn't like it but if we go and she's able to see it when it's not hers and I get it, the whole experience makes the gift so much better.
 
#5
I agree, taking her to a spa to get a nice massage and a couple of other relaxing treatments would be a great idea. If you think she'd mind you spending money on her, tell her that you won a gift card or that it was given you as a gift, a little lie wont matter if it'll make her feel better about taking a full day to relax and pamper herself. Then have lunch and get your hair done or something :flowers:
 
#6
After everything she's been through, spending time with her loved one (like you!) will probably renew her spirit more than any "thing" you can buy for her. How about a mini-vacation somewhere together?

Knowing that she's constantly in your thoughts will probably mean a lot to her too. Sending her a little treat every month, whether it's a card or flowers, would probably bring a smile to her face and bridge the geographical distance.
 
#7
I am so sorry to hear that your mom has been having a hard time. Like many of the other ladies mentioned here, she may feel uncomfortable with you spending a lot of money on her. I know my mom is HORRIBLE at letting me spend money on her. I took her to a spa, she didn't like it. She's not into clothes or shoes really, so that didn't work well either. I found taking her places that are "out of the norm" for her really worked. She lives in the desert, so when she's out here, I do little things like take her on the ferry across the Potomac or to restaurants that she really likes, but doesn't have out by her or some of the memorials and museums. I loved balihai's idea of a mini-vacation too. Memories will likely mean the most :flowers: your mom is lucky to have you.
 
#9
Yes, I agree with the ladies about spending time with her as much as you can. My mother would totally love that. She as well is not the type to spend a lot on herself and I would have to literally drag her to the spa to go (so giving gift cards will likely not be used), altho she will take advantage and actually enjoy some of it. Maybe just go shopping with her and if she likes something buy it despite her objections. My mom would object but then again I would buy it and she would take it. Hope that helps!
 
#10
I hear what you are saying that you would like your mum to have something beautiful to cherish - I've found that people as selfless as your mum end up putting stuff in a drawer and "saving it for a special occasion".

Nothing as precious as time - How about a girlie weekend away with long talks and walks lots of piccies that you can then make up in a scrap book.
 
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