I wanna cry...I'll just never be good enough!

pr1nc355

pr1nc355

Orange Pyramid
O.G.
May 24, 2006
5,009
134
#1
It gets worse and worse every day. I've been at my current job for about 6 months now, and I don't know how much longer I'll last. Though my company is pretty big, my department is tiny, with only 5 employees. I wrote another thread about this, but I'll give a very short summary to refresh. What started making my job really miserable was when my immediate supervisor (my department manager) started piling work on me and snubbing me. This suddenly happened after we had hung out as friends for a few weeks. I strongly believe it was for personal reasons. She seems to be jealous of me because I had friends and seemed overall happy with my life, whereas she is totally unstable and is in abusive relationship after abusive relationship and has no friends (she says this herself). After consulting with some pfers, I decided to keep a professional, yet personally distant, relationship and do my job as best I could. I, by myself, carried half the department's productivity and stayed at work late because it's totally impossible to get all my work done in 40 hours/week (although that's all I get paid for). I did this for a couple of weeks, then the CEO and VP call me in and pummel me with several demands and criticisms, telling me that I'm not doing enough for the company. I was p--ssed because no one else in the department produces as much as me, and I'm the only one who actually arrives to work on time and stays late. The company is rapidly expanding, and they told me that I have to deal with it, but it seems to me like no one else in my department has an increase in responsibilities. OK, so I stay even later at work and start producing even MORE, then the VP calls me into her office again yesterday to tell me I'm STILL not doing enough for them.

I call my sister to vent, and she totally encourages me to just do more and stick it out for another 6 months, so that I'll have given this company a year. I want to, but it's really hard and for what they're paying me (which isn't much), I feel this is totally unfair, considering that I really am doing far more work than everyone else in the department. I feel like I have to give up what little personal life I do have in order to get better at work, and even then I don't know if I'd succeed, since the demands of my CEO and VP are so great. Is my thinking totally wrong? Has anyone else been in the same situation?
 
#2
I haven't been in your situation, so I can't offer you any suggestions other than ... how much more can you possibly give to this company? They can't expect you to work more and more and still get criticized that you're not doing enough! No company should be able to do that. I don't think it's necessary to stick it out there if you're unhappy and don't see a light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe it's time to start looking for something else on the side where they WILL appreciate you as an employee.

I'm sorry your situation there is like that ... that would be a stressful situation.

I hope something else comes your way!
 
#3
Princess, I was once in a situation similar to yours. No matter how hard you work, no matter how well you perform at your job, you're just not going to be able to win this game. Once you accept that fact you can start looking at the situation rationally.

First of all, you need to stop beating yourself up. Assure yourself that you're doing the best job that you can, that you're working as hard as anyone reasonably can, and beyond that you have no control over the situation. What will be will be. You can't control other people. Sometimes they can turn into creeps and jerks and sometimes great job situations go bad because of it. There's not a thing you can do about that except to look for another job.

I would start hunting for a new job now. January is a good time for job hunting. You have nothing to lose for trying. Ideally it would be good to stick with the job for a year, but something better might come along this winter so why not start looking around and interviewing and networking and see where that will take you. Anyhow, come spring you're going to have to deal with that flood of college graduates on the market. Best to start looking now.

I'm sorry this is happening to you. Just don't let it get you down. Allowing others' despicable behavior to affect you deeply and to damage your own sense of pride and self-worth is the worst thing you can let anyone do to you. Don't let them win in this regard.

Best....
 
#5
This sounds awful. But I am wondering why they are doing this to you?

Are they specific about why/how you aren't doing enough? Is it possible that someone else is taking credit for your work? Or do they think you are somehow not productive enough for the time you spend?

Is it possible for you to elaborate on what you have done and ask them to be specific about how you should be doing more? You can do this in a positive way, saying that you would appreciate some direction in how you can improve your performance. If they have no answers, you will have yours -- you won't ever please them.
 
#6
My friend had a similar problem at work. It seems she is doing the work of 3 people while the others take long lunches, leave early and just talk on the phone. She gets called on her low performance.
So she started keeping a daily log. She writes her time on each project she is working on, what she did on that project, ect....
Well it turns out the others in her department were taking credit for some of her work.
She got sick of the company and found another job but I think the log opened her bosses eyes on seeing who is actually doing work.
 
#7
Tell them exactly whats going on,if they think you are the 'problem' within your dept,they will always see you that way,set them straight and tell them.It sounds like you have nothing to lose and everything to gain, so be brave and professional and talk to them.

Tell them exactly why you stay late come in early,its not your incompetence or inability to do your job,its your integrity and professional nature.They probably don't know this,so tell them.And don't worry hun,they are only people at the end of the day and are only reacting to part of the information available to them,give them all of it,and that should straighten the picture they think they've been looking at. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
#8
I would imagine it's because you have Blue Jean, and they don't. ;)

Sorry, just trying to bring a bit of humor.
You are working your ass off, and them trying to tell you that you aren't is ridiculous. Maybe you should try finding something else...and then when you are gone and their productivity plummets....well you know.
 
#9
What a rotten situation. If reasonable communication with the higher-ups hasn't worked, I'd start looking for another job, as other posters have said.

My son was in a very similar position--he was so over-worked and under-appreciated. It took awhile, but he eventually found a much better company to work for. Good luck! It sounds like a very dysfunctional company.
 
#10
R,

Hi sweetie, I'm so sorry to hear of your problems. I once was in a job where my boss was so wishy washy with me, one minute praising me, the next telling me I'm just not doing what it takes to get the job done. I tried very hard to work through her issues with me as I had already worked there for 4 years. But in the end I just couldn't GIVE anymore. I quit and found an amazing job that I truly loved, and the company appreciated my work and skills.

I do agree, it doesn't seem like things will change anytime soon. I say, go find a job you love, a place that will appreciate you and you will feel a true sense of teamwork!!!

**HUGS**
 
#11
I'm in a similar situation and all I can say is that you have to leave before this stress affects your health. You most likely will never do enough to please them, but it is not your fault! They seem to have these unrealistic expectations and standards that you must meet, but at what cost? How much more can you realistically give until the job consumes you? The harder you try, and the more they see you trying, the higher the bar will be raised, and against you. I would get out now and find a workplace that's supportive and knows how to utilize what you bring to the table.
 
#12
lulilu gave excellent advice. It sounds to me like they are laying the groundwork for termination, for reasons possibly unrelated to the quality or quantity of your work. In your place, I would a) get HR involved in your discussions with management, if they're not already; b) get your side on the record in a non-confrontational way; and c) start looking for another job.
 
#14
Oops. I got cut off from what I was writing above. You must ask your bosses EXACTLY what is expected. What are the goals and performance objectives of your position. For example, do they want you to make 100 cold calls a month and close on 75% of them for a sales quota of $20,000? The job criteria must be more specific, not just that you are not doing enough. Sometimes in growing companies, they do not have specific performance objectives. It would be wise though, if you can bring this up, for your superiors to start putting the objectives in black and white. In the meantime, I would keep a log of my work and notes of any conversations you have with your bosses (both positive and negative.) I'd also start looking for another position. Personally, I would not want to work anywhere where the job function is so nebulous.
 
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