I think I have a little image problem..

  1. I hope this is the right place to post this thread.

    I think I have a confidence disorder (does that exist?) or something along that lines. Growing up as a child, I had a mother that constantly told me that I needed to lose weight or do this or that so I could look better. Needless to say, I was never the prettiest girl in elementary school. Middle school was no easy piece of cake either. It was like elementary school plus acne, 10 more pounds, and braces. However, sometime during the early years of high school I blossomed and all traces of the girl from middle school vanished. When I look at pictures from middle school it shocks me and I feel like I'm looking at a different person. I don't want to come off as proud or vain but I know that I look good (kwim?).

    But the problem is that sometimes I don't feel like I look good. I've always been an outgoing and vivacious person and I still am most of the time. I'm not the type of girl that is quiet or shy. I say what I want and do what I want. But when I get around a group of women it's as if all my personality gets sucked out of me and I become some timid, awkard girl. I don't have this problem around guys or just a few girls. It's always when I'm around a crowd of women that I lose all my confidence. And they don't have to be women I know, they can be random people in a clothing store. It's as if I'm not even myself and I hate feeling like that. The real me is inside and trying to get out and I'm trying to let me out but something is stopping me.

    I've been currently thinking of going to see a therapist or something along those lines since I've been like this for the past few years. But I would really like some advice from some of my fellow tPF'ers!
  2. You're not alone. :heart:

    I've found that talking to a therapist can be a very eye-opening experience. Even just being able to talk freely for an hour is cathartic!

    I wish the best to you, hun.
  3. I hear you. I 'blossomed' in my early/mid 20s...I look back on pix and think WOW (not being too boastful I hope). I thought I was confident at the time but looking back on it now ahem a few years later I know I wasn't.

    I didn't go see a therapist until my early 30s. I wish I had done it sooner. You can have wonderful supportive BF/DH/SO/friends/family, etc but a professional perspective on YOU is worth every penny.

  4. if you feel bad about yourself or your situation than the best thing you can spend your money on is therapy. it really helps to let it all out and tell someone who is impartial.
  5. I'm still kinda unsure about going to go see a therapist.. even though I love talking to strangers, I don't love talking about my issues with strangers.. even the ones with a medical degree lol.
  6. i felt like that the first few sessions but after that you know you can trust them and they arent there to judge. it helps to ge things off your chest and realise just what is causing your problems.
  7. I kind of have the same problem. I was made fun of all through elementary and middle school, and despite being very skinny I was basically traumatized when my mom said I was "filling out" and when she said that if I quit ice skating, I'd "blimp out like a balloon" From that point on, I exercised whenever I could, was very selective about what I ate, and thought I was fat [though I obviously wasn't] I kind of bordered on having an eating disorder until when I freaked out because I gained 5 lbs, I looked in the mirror and saw hips. I liked my hips a lot, and that worry is almost gone. As long as I'm living at home with my mom, I'll be paranoid about gaining weight.

    As far as being made fun of from 3rd grade all up until 8th...I was called anorexic, a dyke, "uncivilized" [by some rich girls in 5th grade], ugly, ugly, and ugly. I never did, and still don't feel like I can measure up to other girls, ever, as far as my looks go. When I'm around guy friends, I feel okay about myself but when I get around girls, I get really defensive and lose all confidence.
  8. First let me just say thank you to all who posted!
    Second, I had a little talk with a friend of mine and I'm feeling a whole lot better! :smile::yes:
  9. good for u to have a nice talk :smile:. i too prefers to be with a group of guys than girls. after analysing myself i think it's because i found that usually guys talks about fact stuff (not people target), and girls chats about other girls (b*tchy).
  10. I'm sorry for bringing this thread back to life,
    but I just have to say that my little image problem is something of the past now.

    I've never felt as confident as I have the past 3 or 4 months and I'm not exactly sure what happened but I'm loving the change. Even when I'm around large groups of girls, my confidence level never goes down at all. It's actually pretty amazing! I never thought I would become like this, but somehow I did!