I saw a woman walking around today

viba424

O.G.
Dec 9, 2006
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Oh boy.

We all see stuff that surprises us. You are a compassionate person. Im sure she just looked sad for another reason. We all have our sad days.
 
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Jan 20, 2007
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Nebraska
Thats when you just say something positive in your mind for her...even if we can't DO something to change the world, we can always send positive vibes!!!
 

rendodan110

Danielle
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Oct 9, 2007
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Tacoma, WA
I work with individuals that are physically and mentally disabled, and as sad as you feel for that woman she most likely is glad she has 1 arm and a neck to hang her bag on. We often feel sorry for those that are not sorry for who they are. I would have just suggested you act like she looked like everyone else and just say I like your purse. and leave it at that.
 

suretobuy

Hi ya, baby!
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Nov 26, 2007
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corner table at caffe strada
I work with individuals that are physically and mentally disabled, and as sad as you feel for that woman she most likely is glad she has 1 arm and a neck to hang her bag on. We often feel sorry for those that are not sorry for who they are. I would have just suggested you act like she looked like everyone else and just say I like your purse. and leave it at that.
Oh, I saw her crossing the street from my car, not up close.
 

wordbox

so in love!
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Feb 26, 2007
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The North Pole
I work with individuals that are physically and mentally disabled, and as sad as you feel for that woman she most likely is glad she has 1 arm and a neck to hang her bag on. We often feel sorry for those that are not sorry for who they are. I would have just suggested you act like she looked like everyone else and just say I like your purse. and leave it at that.
Yeah, I agree. There's a good chance she was sad about something else; she may be very used to her disability and has a positive attitude about it. You never know. Just because someone is missing a limb doesn't mean they feel sorry for themselves or are depressed about it.

Most of the people with disabilities that I have met do not want sympathy, they want to be treated just like everyone else. :yes: But I know what you mean... sometimes you see things in life and realize that we all take things for granted.
 

i_wona

like two plums
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Jan 10, 2007
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Australia
You felt sorry for her because she had one arm? Because she was carrying her purse around her head/neck?

I don't want to start any arguments, but I find this quite patronising. I am sure she's just like the rest of us and doesn't need any pity. I get that it made you appreciate what you have, but I wonder if this is the best comparison?

Gaaaah - I can't say what I'm trying to say without sounding rude and angry LOL Damn interweb!
 

Bagpuss

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Dec 30, 2005
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0
I would have thought- she was not self conscious or she would have carried the bag on her arm- so that's a plus. She had made an adaptation that suited her needs, so that's another plus. She was out and doing her thing so that's a third plus....I think she's doing pretty good. Too bad she didn't have a messenger bag though, it would have been more comfortable.
It's good to imagine walking in someone's shoes and feeling compassion but it also helps me to play both sides of the record- not everyone's story is side B and I have to remind myself that occasionally.
 

Pinkcaviar

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Feb 14, 2006
4,071
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Vancouver, Canada
I think I understand where you're coming from. Even though she's probably use to it and totally fine by it, sometime it just hurts or it's sad to see something different than what we're not use too. It's in no way pitying her, but more out of compassion.

For example, I personally have a really hard time being around Cancer Patients who are undergoing chemo, because I lost my mother to it and know how much its a daily struggle.

It's a little different form a disability, but I knew my mom probably hated the way people look at her different when she was ill -all sympathetic. But I think it's just natural for some people to feel that way sometimes.

Some people just feel more than others.
 
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lilian

Member
Jan 3, 2006
1,207
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This reminds me of something really interesting that I read a while ago. It was this essay where the central thesis was that the reason we act the way we do to people with disabilities is because they disturb our conception of our own physical sense of self. We like to think that our physical body is strong and kind of coherent, so seeing someone without limbs (or the like) is a terrifying reminder that we aren't actually as strongly joined together physically as we might like to think, and at any given time we could also have our body disfigured from what it currently is with relative ease. People stare and have all types of extreme reactions to disability or disease because on one level they are just so disturbed by the possibility that their body is not the strong, concrete, whole entity that they thought it was. He compared this to the similar reaction some people have to people who are hard of hearing, mute people, people who are extremely sick with diseases like cancer or AIDS (I think someone above actually even mentioned cancer?), peoples' fascination with mental illness, and a whole bunch of other things. Conversely, people who don't react this way to some (or all) disabilities/diseases/whatever are said to have come to terms with the fact that the unity they feel like their body (or mind) has is pretty fickle. I'm sure I'm not explaining the argument as clearly as he did, but it was really neat.

I'm not saying the OP (or anyone) reacted this way, but I just thought this article was really interesting and I wanted to share. I know it really changed how I personally thought of my reactions to disability. I used to think I was really compassionate because I felt sorry for people with disabilities, and now I consciously tell myself that that is not where my reaction is coming from; there is no reason for me to feel sorry for anyone, and really it's my own insecurity that causes me to feel that way and I can't really put that on someone else. I wish I could remember the name of the writer..it really was a life changing read for me.