I need a huge amount of support...

  1. Hey gals,

    The last year has been really rough for me and i thought things would get better but it hasn't it's just gotten worse. I'm in a 2yr educational program which is very different from what i thought it would be and I feel like i'm learning close to nothing, paying $$ for it, giving up work experience and going to get very little out of it... i'm overwhelmed and so depressed and upset.

    i don't know if i'm depressed because of the situation or i'm feeling this way about the situation because i'm depressed:confused1: i cant get medication because i have insurance issues..

    I feel like i have no way out of this and i am stuck having to spend the next 2 years doing this. i took one step to try to find an alternative solution so i can get out of this with something to do but it's been hard and i feel so hopeless about it. I just think that it's not going to work out. My interview skills are rusty and i think even if i get anything i'm going to perform horribly and sound like an idiot and no one will want me.... and i'm going to end up screwing up whatever interviews i get (assumin i even get any)

    I have this heavy sinking feelign in my heart everyday and am pretty much ready to cry every other day. i know this isn't the end of the world but i don't know what i'm doing here and i feel like i can't reasonably get out of this situation without making a mess.

    Oh gosh girls, i am so upset and miserable. I don't know how i'm going to survive and make it through 2 years. 2yrs seems so long. What if i still don't get the jobs i want after going through this program? i'm so scared i'm wasting my time and that things won't get better even after i'm done with the program. i feel incapacitated to act and every decision feels like it takes so much energy and effort

    Please help me cos i don't know what to do and how i'm going to continue feeling this way every day

    Appreciate if you could give me ur support because i'm just a mess right now and so lost and miserable and i think i'm going to feel this way for awhile and i don't know how to cope cos i feel so low :sad:
  2. Oh goodness. I don't have any specific advice for you but I'm sending good thoughts your way.
  3. I'm sorry you are having such a miserable time. Try to think positive thoughts and don't worry so much, I am sure that it will work out in the end. I know it seems tough right now, but just try to focus on what you are doing today and try to make the best of it. *hugs*:heart:
  4. hey gals, thanks for the well wishes,

    I wish i could just focus on "it" ... but i don't know what IT is.... I don't what i'm doing or what i'm suppose to be doing. i'm trying so hard to get out of the situation and program ....

    i'm looking for exit routes but it seems so hard to find an exit route and i'm just like, well if i can't find an exit route then i can either stay and continue walking along the bumpy road filled with thumbtacks or do i jump off the wall and hope i land on the grass and not the pavement????

    Ahhhhhhhh i wish someone could save me from this disaster.... i just want to crawl into a hold and slip into oblivion.....
  5. Hang in there! Let's think of what is making you upset...
    Do you think you really, really hate the program? I mean, is the program very horrible and the people in it and the place around it? Have you really given this program a chance, Bubbles?

    I know it is hard to give people and places a chance when we are emotionally upset, but if you think of all the positives or good things the program offers, perhaps you will eventually learn to like the program and your stay there and by the time you know it, 2 years will have gone by!
  6. Hey Gr8heart....

    well... here's what's bothering me.... maybe you and the other girls can help analyze it...

    1) i feel like i will be learning very little in my area at the end of the 2 yrs. i'll learn something but not critical at all to what i do (like supply chain management, team organization etc)

    2) right now i feel like 2 yrs is a very long time... in these 2 yrs i could be getting real world work experience. Of course, the flip side is that i don't have a job now and so would have to find a job and no one can say if i'll be able to find a good job.

    3) I'm so bogged down by everything going on - the classes, the homework, trying find team mates for group projects, the extra curricular activities that we are expected to be part of, the independent job search that i need to do throughout the program (the career office is a total joke).

    4) the difficult thing is that given the factors above, i don't believe in this program BUT i realize that other ppl give weight to the masters and essentially i'm doing this for the other ppl (recruiters, employers etc). and i'm trying to drag myself through this each day....

    i just started and so proably haven't given it enough time. but i feel like i would have to stay till the end of the semseter to give it a chance. BUT the longer i stay the harder it will be for me to leave because i'll feel like i've already done 1 semseter (ends in Dec) why not do theo ther 3.Also i would have a longer gap in my resume by then and there's probably not as much hiring in Jan...

    i don't know but i just am so upset and feel so hopeless about it. I feel like it's nothing's going to work out.

    I went out for a quick walk and i feel so overwhelmed and am just like, maybe i should just give in and surrender.... i'm so overwhelmed, so tired and upset...

    t oanswer ur questions the ppl in the program are ok. i've been warned to really find out who my friends are before i confide or trust ppl because ppl will sometimes backstab u.. it is a management program after all!!
  7. IMHO I think if you don't like your program then you shouldn't take it. Do something else you think you will enjoy. Also, the whole purpose of going to school is to get a job. If you can find a job now then there is no real purpose in going to school unless its a requirement that you have some sort of certification/degree/etc. Honestly if I was the person hiring someone, I would value experience more than education. For example if someone had 3 years experience verses someone else just coming out of school with minimal experience. I would favor the one with experience more (attitude and personalities would also play as a factor too).
  8. Hey javaboo, well the thing is this. i should be able to find a job but i can't tell for sure right now... sigh... and it becomes very difficult to explain to employers why you are looking for a job when you're in the midst of a program.... which means i need to quit (and still have to explain why i quit).

    Having this additional degree may mean better job opportunities... i don't know... i could end up dragging myself through this program and find that all i can get is still a mediocre job.

    it's hard to think straight these days cos i just feel so hopeless and depressed.
  9. Girls i was on the bus just now and i was thinking, do you think i'm just making myself worse by desperately looking for exit options that are hard to find?

    Do u think i should just recognize that i'm in the program and then work with the mindset that i'm going to continue vs. trying to fight every single thing and see if i feel better?
  10. I think desperately looking for a way out may contribute to what you're feeling. I know anytime I start internal debates like that I sometimes make things out to be worse than they are and then it kinda spirals down from there. I think that can be human nature in some situations.

    Do you think it would be helpful to accept that you're staying in the program and focus on making the best of it? I think with a lot of things in life, but especially school, if you give up, you'll constantly be nagged with that "what if...?" kinda thing. Almost everyone I know that has dropped out of some type of school (associates, bachelors, masters...I dunno any PhD students that left), has regretted it in later years. I at least know with me, if I had left my program, I would have been stuck in a "what if" rut. "what if I had finished my program? would I have gotten that job/promotion/opportunity/project/etc.?" And knowing me, I would have done it REGARDLESS of how logical it would have been to question, at least for a little bit.

    Hang in there! I wish I had all the answers for you, but unfortunately things like this don't work that way. Good luck and it sounds like you're making progress! :yes:

    Now, try to give yourself a little mental vacation for the night. :beach:
  11. I completely understand where you are coming from, it is so hard to pick an educational program, but once you start, you feel stuck. Remember that you are the one working hard for it AND paying money, only become what you want to become! You have high expectations for learning, and that is a GREAT thing! Follow your heart, even if you transfer to another facility for a learning program or change programs you will be much happier. Think of yourself, you are worth it! (I just sounded like a Loreal commercial didnt I?)
  12. Oh Bubbles, give the program a chance! I see so many people my age (30's) going back to school to finish up degrees and they have to do it around their full-time job and home and family. There is a reason you chose to enter the program and it is most likely because it will help you in the future.

    If you quit now, you will be at a disadvantage considering you will be competing with those that completed the program. The degree from the program will only help you in the future, by finding a better job, networking opportunities from the people you will meet, enhancing your skills, etc. While it is true that work experience is often-times more valued and appreciated than a degree, why not go for both?

    Focus on what you have to do to excell in this program. This is the time to give it your all, so you can come back and be in a position to give some of us a job!
  13. Is there another program that would suit your goals better? To be in this program while hating it and looking for ways out must contribute greatly to your stress.

    I think you need to decide you're either 100% in or leave it and be 100% out there looking for something else. Constantly feeling tormented is harming you and will make this a bad experience. Whatever you decide, give it your all and try not to second-guess yourself. Very few situations are totally clear-cut. We take the bad with the good and learn from it.

    That probably made no sense, but I'm wishing you the best as always, bubbles. ((hugs))
  14. I totally agree. If you are unhappy, you won't be learning as well, your immune system will be affected- as stress affects your whole body. If this program is not for you, I bet you will find another one. The most important thing is to see clearly what you want and what would make you happy. If you need to, take a break for now and just get a job interning or even in a completely different field, just till you get happy again. We are not here to suffer endlessly and sometimes we have the tapes of society and our parents running through our heads.
    Sit down and write a few things down that make you feel wonderful, even if it is volunteer work- when you get out of yourself for a while, it will be easier to be objective.
    Also, I KNOW from experience that if you listen to the "What ifs", you will spiral into negativity. There are always opportunites out in this world. Just close your eyes and imagine the feeling of being happy-playing with a dog or a cat, then see yourself waking up eash morning being thankful that your life is fulfilling( not necessarily knowing from what). If you just keep your vision on something great for you...not anyone else....you will listen to that small voice inside that will guide you.
    Hugs xoxo:heart::heart::heart:
  15. Hey boxermom,

    As always, thanks for your love and support :heart:
    Well i got rejected by the other programs that I wanted to attend that's how i ended up here at this program. :sad:

    I agree that this is making me very tormented and stressed out and everything that is not good for me.

    You are head on that i keep on second guessing myself. I keep on saying, i SHOULD have done this, SHOULD have done that. Like now, that i'm trying to find a job and talking to headhunters, i tell myself this is what i SHOULD have been doing the last 9 months, why didn't i do it??? (of course i know the answer, i was also in a terrible state recovering from so many things that i wasn't in the right frame of mind so I can't blame myself but i still do:confused1:)

    because i keep on second guessing myself and feeling like i keep on doing the wrong things, I'm finding it very difficult to be 100% behind what i'm doing. but i'm trying to at least go in one direction .... I'm going to write about this later.....