I LOVE MY HUBBY BUT NOT THAT BAG!!!

mmaya

Member
Nov 30, 2014
884
329
So how do I write this and NOT sound completey ungrateful????

My birthday is in May and so is mothers day so hubby always gets me a very big gift and of course I always want CHANEL.. HE hates Chanel bc of the price tag so I always pitch in to help when its CHANEL..

So yesterday he went without telling me to CHANEL and got me the Gabriella Large Bag which at first site to me looked hideous!!! I am not telling him I don't love it bc he gets super upset when I exchange things he gives me.. THERE IS NO EXPLAINING TO THIS MAN THAT BAGS ARE VERY IMPORTANT PURCHASES FOR ME AND THEY HAVE TO MAKE MY HEART SING!!!

So what do I do? exchange it and hope he never notices or tell him the truth which makes him go insane!!!

I hope someone here understands what i am going threw!!

I currently have 3 classic flaps and one boy bag and woc.

I wanted the new serf tote but he says it looks too old lady...
 
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Ceeyahd

Ceeyahd
May 10, 2012
1,520
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So how do I write this and NOT sound completey ungrateful????

My birthday is in May and so is mothers day so hubby always gets me a very big gift and of course I always want CHANEL.. HE hates Chanel bc of the price tag so I always pitch in to help when its CHANEL..

So yesterday he went without telling me to CHANEL and got me the Gabriella Large Bag which at first site to me looked hideous!!! I am not telling him I don't love it bc he gets super upset when I exchange things he gives me.. THERE IS NO EXPLAINING TO THIS MAN THAT BAGS ARE VERY IMPORTANT PURCHASES FOR ME AND THEY HAVE TO MAKE MY HEART SING!!!

So what do I do? exchange it and hope he never notices or tell him the truth which makes him go insane!!!

I hope someone here understands what i am going threw!!

I currently have 3 classic flaps and one boy bag and woc.

I wanted the new serf tote but he says it looks too old lady...
Maybe approach it in the sense of the type of bag you will use. Say it's great, but the style isn't usable for you. He wouldn't want a bag to sit unused.
 
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coxswain1

Member
Dec 6, 2013
338
421
PV Estates, CA
Man. That's rough. There's no way to come out of this looking good. I agree with the above comment. Tell him it's not going to be used. I've tried in the past to suggest to husbands on tpf to bring their wives with them to the store instead of surprising them with a bag. It's way too expensive to guess what she wants.

Rip the bandaid off quick and just tell him you are exchanging the bag.
 
Apr 24, 2009
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Wow thats a tough one. First of all, perhaps have a second look on the gabrielle & try it on to see how it looks. See if you like it, because its so versatile. I think DH has the image that gabrielle looks great on you, and that you already have other chanel flaps & boy.

Perhaps have a slow talk to him, say as much as you love the bag, but it doesnt seems to work for you because (insert reason here). Maybe its too big, or the color doesnt match, or the leather is not easy to care since you want it to last forever since its a special bag to you.

I think best you let him know up front, though he might be taken a back a bit, i am sure he would appreciate your honesty, & saves you from feeling guilty that he might find out you exchanged it without his knowledge.
 
Feb 13, 2006
552
103
USA
I have been in your situation before, and it occurred the first time when I was just dating my now husband. He got me this bag which was hideous. I was conflicted about whether to say something or not, but I decided I had to because I didn't want to create a long life pattern of him getting me gifts that I don't like and me not being able to tell him. Not gonna lie - the first time it happened, his feelings were hurt but he got over it and now it's become a joke that if he wants to get me something, it has to come wih a gift receipt so I can exchange or he needs to stick to my list of things he knows I want. A Chanel bag is an expensive purchase so you can nicely ask, "what made you pick out this bag for me?" and explain it doesn't work for you but you appreciate the thought, and that you don't want the money spent to go to waste on a bag you won't carry
 
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ccbaggirl89

Member
Mar 26, 2015
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i would keep it, but definitely explain that it's really not your style and that it might be for special occasions only (aka not worn very often). explain that you're keeping it because of the thoughtfulness of the gesture and etc., but it's not really your style. maybe he'll even suggest an exchange. it falls into that whole idea of 'reward what you want repeated.' if you return/exchange it you may never see another Chanel from him, but if you accept it, then more may follow. it also indicates he doesn't know your style very well, so something to talk about and work on for the next purchase:smile: at least he got you something very on-trend, so there is a lot to be happy about. what could it hurt to wear it for him now and again while on date night?
 
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mmaya

Member
Nov 30, 2014
884
329
I have been in your situation before, and it occurred the first time when I was just dating my now husband. He got me this bag which was hideous. I was conflicted about whether to say something or not, but I decided I had to because I didn't want to create a long life pattern of him getting me gifts that I don't like and me not being able to tell him. Not gonna lie - the first time it happened, his feelings were hurt but he got over it and now it's become a joke that if he wants to get me something, it has to come wih a gift receipt so I can exchange or he needs to stick to my list of things he knows I want. A Chanel bag is an expensive purchase so you can nicely ask, "what made you pick out this bag for me?" and explain it doesn't work for you but you appreciate the thought, and that you don't want the money spent to go to waste on a bag you won't carry
Thank you so much for your reply and I forgot to mention I have been married for over 24 years and 27 together and he never gets it when it comes to my bag obsession lol am so glad your hubby understands... I want to be honest, but at the same time I can already hear the screaming. oh its not easy... I told him I was going to do a wish list but he did not give me a chance he went without a clue..
 

mmaya

Member
Nov 30, 2014
884
329
i would keep it, but definitely explain that it's really not your style and that it might be for special occasions only (aka not worn very often). explain that you're keeping it because of the thoughtfulness of the gesture and etc., but it's not really your style. maybe he'll even suggest an exchange. it falls into that whole idea of 'reward what you want repeated.' if you return/exchange it you may never see another Chanel from him, but if you accept it, then more may follow. it also indicates he doesn't know your style very well, so something to talk about and work on for the next purchase:smile: at least he got you something very on-trend, so there is a lot to be happy about. what could it hurt to wear it for him now and again while on date night?
I know what your saying, I don't want to put him off from buying me another Chanel in the future, bc its so hard already with him not liking the brand. He knows my style 27 years together, but he thinks Chanel bags have an elderly look to them and I LOVE THAT LOOK!!! lol... I tell him and my SA has spoken to him too but he is sooooooooo hard headed to the point of no return... Thank goodness its only with handbags bc with everything else he is great... however the older he gets the less I can get away with...
 

mmaya

Member
Nov 30, 2014
884
329
Wow thats a tough one. First of all, perhaps have a second look on the gabrielle & try it on to see how it looks. See if you like it, because its so versatile. I think DH has the image that gabrielle looks great on you, and that you already have other chanel flaps & boy.

Perhaps have a slow talk to him, say as much as you love the bag, but it doesnt seems to work for you because (insert reason here). Maybe its too big, or the color doesnt match, or the leather is not easy to care since you want it to last forever since its a special bag to you.

I think best you let him know up front, though he might be taken a back a bit, i am sure he would appreciate your honesty, & saves you from feeling guilty that he might find out you exchanged it without his knowledge.
I think I need a mediator lol... I also wish the Chanel Campaign didn't show a man wearing the bag bc now to me it has a man messenger bag vibe to it and I can't seem to shake it off. Your right I don't want to lie to him that would really be more stressful..... I am thinking of telling him it had a defect and that they are all sold out world wide and that my only option is another CHANEL BAG. Lets see if this works?
 
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mmaya

Member
Nov 30, 2014
884
329
I don't like the Gabrielle bags at all. My SA told me that they are not doing well at all in the whole of Europe. So your best bet is to return it and get something else.
THANK YOU FOR THIS only confirms my inner voice of reason....lol have a beautiful weekend..
 

carmen56

Member
Dec 29, 2015
226
1,232
London, UK
My husband knows it's more than his life's worth to get me with anything without my prior approval! I think you should be upfront with your husband and tell him you appreciate his thoughtfulness but the bag is just not your style and you'd like to exchange it for one that is more to your taste.
 

coffeecup1828

Member
Jul 7, 2014
673
1,392
USA
I think I need a mediator lol... I also wish the Chanel Campaign didn't show a man wearing the bag bc now to me it has a man messenger bag vibe to it and I can't seem to shake it off. Your right I don't want to lie to him that would really be more stressful..... I am thinking of telling him it had a defect and that they are all sold out world wide and that my only option is another CHANEL BAG. Lets see if this works?
I cannot urge you enough not to lie to him. It may seem like the "easy" thing to do but best case scenario is that you get away with the lie and have guilt/dishonesty added to your relationship.

I would try this-- speak to him about how touched you are about his gesture and about how special it makes you feel that he is so thoughtful, and how much it means to you that he did something like this. Then gently explain that it is not quite practical for your needs and that you want to be able to use the bag often to be reminded of his gesture. Then suggest that he comes with you to the shop to switch it for something you think you will use more, and say that you would love to have him accompany you bc it will make it special to do it together.

I'm not suggesting you be fake with him, but this is a big gesture and his ego may take a huge hit if you don't approach it delicately, and dishonesty will be worse. Imagine if he thinks he got you a faulty bag, or if he calls around trying to replace it for you and he finds out you lied to him?
 

KellyCoCo

Member
Jan 7, 2013
347
166
I'll never forget the time when my bf bought me an iPad when they had just come out for my birthday, I was so happy and grateful. Then I think a year later or the next year he got me the iPad mini for my bday. Bearing in mind the first iPad he got me still worked fine, I was a bit baffled by this . In fact the first iPad he got me still works and the second one just sits in a drawer.
Sometimes men just don't understand haha, but they try there hardest.
But in your case with such an expensive item I would just have to tell him.
 

Tuned83

Member
Apr 5, 2014
1,952
2,956
UK
This happened to me last year for my birthday. The bag in question was the new mulberry Bayswater. At 1000 pounds I was not happy to let it sit unused. So I told him and we went together to return it. This year he got me a boy bag with me present to choose. He wasn't overly pleased but I think was grateful that I was honest. I don't miss the Bayswater so it was defo the right decision. Good luck