Everynight I go to bed and tell my self that tomm im going to change. I will wake up and exersize and eat healthy. Everyday I fail misserably. It makes me so depressed. I feel like such a failure and I am disgusted with my self. I don't think I will ever be able to get down to the size I want. I am in tears right now because I can't take it any more. I go into the world and I see these girls who can wear anything and then I come home and look at my self and it makes me sick. I don't even like looking at my self in a mirror I try to avoid them. You would think this would give me the motivation to change. It never does the cycle just keeps continuing and I truly don't know how to stop it. I have been feeling so horrible land depressed lately. Im sorry I just had to vent. I don't have a family I can talk to that's a whole other story.