I have no friends...*join in*

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venetiakim

venetiakim

wants to travel away
Oct 9, 2006
2,057
1
#1
I don't mean REAL friends, but any friends at all...

I'll take it from the beginning.I'm 23 and live in a small town on a greek island.Things are completely different here than any other part of Europe or US...When I finished school 5 years ago I went to University in Athens.During school I had some friends that appeared to be worth it.So after leaving home and going to the big city, I had a hard time. Not only was I so far away from my home and family but my friends were all in different Universities in other cities.On Campus I met some other girls.They weren't actually what I really wanted my friends to be, but they were really sweet and I had a rather good time with them.I never tried to make any other friends because I thought it was difficult, being in an unknown (to me) city and all. With the rest of my friends I did keep in touch but we only saw ech other during Christmas or summer holidays, when we were all coming back home to visit iur families.

Last year I came back home to live with my parents, after finishing my studies.Nobody else did though, because no other girl of my friends had finished hers. I started working but only 2 days a week, which to me translates to almost nothing. So suddenly I'm all alone, in a town where I have nothing to do and no-one to see. I only have a neighbour of mine, a very sweet girl the same age as me, but she isn't easy to track down and even go for a walk...

The thing is that people change.So I don't hang out with my school friends any more. Only occassionaly. I don't find them a good company any more. But I don't want to feel guilty for that.

The bottom line is that every Saturday night, when everybody goes out and has fun, I'm stuck home...With no-one to hung out with.This is really painfull to realise sometimes.

That's why I love it here.I love the cozy atmosphere!Hugs to all of you!:heart:


OMG I didn't realise it was going to be such along post!Sorry ladies...
 
#2
I'm sorry you are going through a rough patch....I am too right now....I just moved and still have no close friends yet, only aquaintences that say hi and come over for a drink on occasion....so I know how it feels....I'm sure you will meet ppl soon enough, it's all a matter of time. It takes me a long time to get to know ppl. (((Hugs))) and best wishes to you!
 
#3
Well, first off, it's very normal to feel the way you do. Loneliness and feeling seperated from everyone else can be tough to get through, but you must get through it.

How about if you try to go to an area bar or club where other people your age hang out? If you feel funny about going alone, you could always just pop in for a short time.

Or perhaps a church group or library or something of that nature to help you meet some new people?

What you shouldn't do is just stay there at home and not go out, because the longer you do that, the harder it will be for you to break out of that and meet new people.

This really is a situation where you just have to jump right in.

Hope this helps!!
 
#4
Traci said:
How about if you try to go to an area bar or club where other people your age hang out? If you feel funny about going alone, you could always just pop in for a short time.
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that's not a bad idea actually.I've always been under the impression that going out alone is...:nogood:
 
#5
Traci hit it right on the nose. Joining group hobby events (maybe an kick boxing class, painting, photography, etc) will expose you to people you would have never met otherwise. Also you'll develop a talent or get fit at the same time!
 
#6
LAltiero85 said:
I'm sorry you are going through a rough patch....I am too right now....I just moved and still have no close friends yet, only aquaintences that say hi and come over for a drink on occasion....so I know how it feels....I'm sure you will meet ppl soon enough, it's all a matter of time. It takes me a long time to get to know ppl. (((Hugs))) and best wishes to you!
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thanks :drinkup:here's to you and your upcoming wedding day!Congrats!
 
#7
venetiakim said:
that's not a bad idea actually.I've always been under the impression that going out alone is...:nogood:
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No way! Only if you think of it as "I'm going to go out for 3 hours by myself", that's scary.

You need to think of it like this:

"I'm going to go and sit at the bar for 30min. and work in my agenda or notepad and make a list of things I want to do"

You know, something like that...see that is totally DOABLE on your own. You can do it!!
 
#9
Good advice so far! I think what you are going through is very common for post-college adults. Same thing happened to me. Maybe you can pick up hobby or a sport? People on sport teams tend to bond or to at least hang out together after practices or games. How about a cooking class? Or dance lessons? Anything to get out there and have a nice time.
 
#10
I can totally relate. When I finished university and moved to a small town for work, I knew one person (and not very well either). I made some friends at work, but not the sort that I would typically gravitate towards, but I was lonely. It wasn't the best decision, it did give me something to do on some weekends, but in the end, I have not kept in touch with any of them since moving jobs. My family and friends were in other towns and cities, and I spent a lot of time and money driving and flying to see them. Even then, my friends and I drifted apart, and it's still a big effort to try and keep in touch with everyone.

I am married now, it's not as big of a issue. But I do get upset every so often when I think that all my true friends are not in the same town, and most of my friends now are 'make-do's'. Some are because they are here for a specific time before they leave, others because they have their own groups of friends.

One new friend I've met told me her technique was to ask people she would like to get to know if she could come along to their outings. I think she's amazingly brave to do that, and it's worked out for her. She's been in the country a year, and she has heaps of friends! Also, she organises trip to the movies, plays, trips, and asks people she knows to bring their friends.

If you have the time, join volunteer groups or do part-time work. At university, I found it a good way to meet people.

The town that I am in has a "Young Professionals network" which organises events where you get introduced to other participants. Do you have something like that where you're from?
 
#12
Everyone's given pretty good suggestions. I'm sorry you're feeling lonely, but just wanted to remind you that there's no shame in being in your situation. I'm glad you want to rectify it, but don't be down on yourself. Just go out with the mindset that you want to meet people. Good luck!
 
#13
Hi! I am greek and can understand how you feel alienated in a island... I am studying in France now and have met few people. I still have fun though because I've learnt that it's fun to do things alone: I go for coffee alone with a magazine, I go to the movies or to museums and have fun. Shopping too of course. I know there aren't that many options on a small island (which one, by the way?) but I know that our islands are great places to relax and become creative.
What did you study?Is there anything related to that that you can do in your hometown? Since you only work for two days, could you afford to do a master's or PHD at a uni in Athens but not stay there?
Also, a piece of advice... When you find yourself with plenty of free time, do the things you always meant to do but never had the time. Read books, watch movies... It sounds geeky, but I've been doing it and enjoy it so much.
Also, get active! I'm sure the landscape is pretty and greek (:heart: the islands' nature) so why not go walking/swimming/running every day? You might meet some new people this way. Even tourists.
kali tixi - i prospatheia metraei, opws leei i mitera mou, den to vazoume katw pote!
:flowers:
 
#14
Aww we love you here ! I'm so sorry your having such a tough time making friends. But hang in there, things will hopefully change soon.
.
I see there has been some excellent advice posted.
 
#15
when i was 22, i went to school and worked as a waitress at night. i met a lot of other students, and there were always people to go out with after work. it was a great social atmosphere, and it was very easy to make friends.
 
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