I hate this....so much.

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MissyBaby

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Sep 19, 2006
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All of you have been very graciously helping me through my Isaac crisis. And I appreciate it. I was looking at some of his new pictures on Facebook and most of them weren't of his face...I saw his face and my heart absolutely broke. In ten million pieces. It hurts so much to think that I'll never have a chance.

Friday night and Saturday morning there's this thing at our church for Young Couples and of course everyone is invited. Friday night is "Finding a Mate for Life" and then Saturday morning is "Godly Husbands and Wives, Raising Children and Finances" blah blah blah. And since this was Isaac's Dad's idea that he'll be there. My best friend is coming and bringing her boyfriend and a guy they're trying to set me up with. I want to go out with other guys but I just know I'll feel like I'm somehow cheating on Isaac. It's just awful to think that Isaac is just another unfulfilled dream to me. It hurts and I'm tired of it. I'm gonna go cry now.
 
Just one thing I thought I should add. Isaac told one of his buddies that this Young Couples Bible Study might be the place where he found a wife...I swear to God that the ENTIRE church, including his mom and dad, turned around and looked at me.
 
Missy, I am sure it's not about you. From the get-togethers your church has, and the things people say to this guy, it sounds like he is getting a lot of pressure to get married. I can see how that would make him reluctant to date a church girl, KWIM? I have been there (the oh-so-painful unrequited crush), and it sucks, but I promise things will get better. It's a big world out there!
 
That's what everyone tells me. But I just KNOW that there's something good that could happen with me and Isaac. I'm not saying I want to marry him right now (although if he asked right now farbeit for me to say no), I'm just asking for a small taste of him loving me back. There's so much potential here...I can feel it. "The heart don't lie." or so they say.
 
Good lord! You're 17. Please, PLEASE don't' even think about marriage at that age. And going to a "Finding a mate for life" course? There's a class on how to meet a wife/husband?? Yikes!
Anyhow, your best bet here is to not even talk to him. Don't check out his Facebook/Myspace. Don't call. Don't write him. You can't get past these feelings for him if you keep seeing him. There has to be some distance so you can let your mind relax and refrain from thinking about him so much. Trust me. Distance will help. And you know..at this point, maybe just be honest with him. "Hey, I've been interested in your for some time now, but it seems that those feelings aren't reciprocated, so for now, I think it best that we don't hang out. I need to get my mind of you, so I can move on." If he is interested, yet still shy...even after all the obvious signs that you're interested in him, this is a perfect opening for him to say he feels the same way. If he's not interested, he'll respect your honesty and maturity dealing with the situation.
 
I agree.... I had this feeling when I was younger too, that I was "meant to be this person" and this guy, we will call "G" was just unresponsive & didn't want to commit... We "dated" off and on for about a year, but G didn't ever want to "open up" - I don't know how to explain it really... It was just years of being jerked around, even after G & I "broke up" (which consisted of us just not calling each other anymore), he would come around and hang out if I had a new boyfriend, act really teritorial, etc - but if the new relationship wouldn't work out, he would just disappear!!

This continued even now, when I called to tell him I had gotten married, there was this dead silence on the phone and it sounded like his words got stuck in his throat for a minute, but then he regained his composure... I just wanted to say, "What did you expect??? You've never acted interested enough in me to commit to me, you just wanted to hang out & be friends, or say OUTLOUD that you actually want to be with me... I moved on, what do you expect???"

It just didn't feel like we ever had a real relationship. I don't know your entire story, (sorry... I caught the beginning I think, and this thread, but I don't know what happened in the middle) however I can tell you that I am EXTREMELY happy with my DH now and know he is the man that was meant for me!! We mesh well together and have a connection that I didn't even realize was possible!

I still keep in touch with G, since we were friends & have some of the same friends as well, and I can tell you that while I enjoy catching up with him, I am glad that things didn't work out... He still 7 years later is a person that unwilling to commit, doesn't have a solid job, quit college for a while and is finally back at it, and just doesn't seem like he is done "growing up"... :shrugs:

If something is meant to be, I have faith that it will work out. :yes: Don't get tied down in emotions around age 17, that is the best advice I can give, enjoy being young and having the world at your fingertips!!
 
Yeah, not every man you like will like you. Once you accept that, rejection becomes much easier.
I've gotten turned down many a time. Oh well, move to the next girl.
 
At 17 you have your whole life ahead of you. You should be looking forward to college and career plans and all the doors that will be open to you. I don't want to sound harsh but it seems like you have been living a very sheltered secluded life if you feel it revolves around Issac and the church. There is more to life out there. Get some hobbies, connect with other people who have goals and one of them is not how to be married courses at church or how to find a mate. These are not normal things that a 17 year old does.....I don't think it is wise to play games with other guys if you are thinking this will get Issac jealous. You also do not need to please or feel pressure from others. I would really find it very strange to hear that someone's parents wanted their son to get married to a girl as young as 17. You might be hoping/reading more in to every little thing just wishing it was true. I am sure that they like but everyone has crushes and their first loves and some things are meant to be and some things do not work out. That is life. I could never in my life imagine wanting my children to get married at such a young age. I feel you have some growing up to do and need to learn who you are as a person before you feel you have to be part of someone else in order to live.
Just my opinion.
 
ITA as above comments. I know it FEELS like there is no one else at this moment because you want HIM. I think a lot of us have been in that type of situation. What you need is some time to relax and just focus on YOU. You are only 17 (and I'm sure you hate hearing this). There is no rush. The more you fixate on him or finding someone to be with, the more trouble you are going to get yourself into. Matters of the heart are always difficult, but what you need is some breathing space. Let yourself mend and enjoy your freedom. I'm not saying being married is horrible because it's not,but I got married at 21 and sometimes I feel like I missed some time of just enjoying life on my own even though I truly love my DH.

Enjoy this time while you can. Find some interests that don't involve this guy...the sky is the limit...it could be bike riding, reading, golf...anything. Be serious in the part of your life that need to be serious but spread your wings otherwise. Trust me, you'll do so much more for yourself this way.
 
Yikes, Im nearly enough the same age as you and I just cant see myself getting in a relationship at this time, never even mind getting married. Im too young to be tied down lol.
And dont put yourself down, you are beautiful. I agree with the others, do not contact this guy. You are not in love, this is lust. Please trust us :flowers:
 
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