I HAD TO CLEAR THE AIR AND MY NAME (rant, explanation)

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  1. I am sorry but this is eating me inside!! I mulled this over during the weekend and cried and cried and decided this is what I must do!

    this is kind of long but I feel that I need to do this!!

    I also sent this email to the mods!

    Hello, Vlad or Megs or whoever is reading this,
    my name is Katryna. I have been a member on TPF for a while and I adored it before the following happened:

    Two of your members, batgirl and kallison, took it upon themselves to create a RAOK program for us in the coach forum, which is great! but due to their pettiness and materialisticness, I will never post on TPF again

    Because of a misunderstanding, which I will explain, they have banned me from RAOK and batgirl proceeded to send me humiliating emails degrading and desecrating my character.

    This is my side of the story:

    For RAOK, My buddy was very specific. They named their favorite shows (heroes was one), what they wanted (a legacy catalog), and I also emailed them and asked them if it was okay to send them certain things, including their size in clothing and shoes.

    Now my first package, I sent a limited edition Entertainment Weekly based on Heroes, the show. The magazine says on the front "For Office Use Only", Now i don't work anywhere to get the magazine. I got it somewhere else. Also, I sent my buddy my very own coveted Coach Legacy catalog (rare, when it s on eBay it goes for crazy prices), this again was my own catalog, so it was not new.

    Now the rules never said anything about giving new items, and I am not used to forums or things like Random Acts of Kindness, so I had no idea this was taboo. I could have sent candles and such but I knew my buddy really wanted the legacy catalog, so i sent it to her, along with the magazine, and a pair of gold earrings and a card and a starbucks gift card in the same package, because I was being thoughtful..

    The second package I sent, I bid for on eBay. It was a pair of sandals in her size and her favorite color. I did not see the pair of shoes ever (except for pictures) because I bid on it directly from eBay. It was my understanding that the shoes were new, store display items (there were pictures, and the item seemed never worn). Now batgirl sends me this nasty email:


    It has been brought to my attention that the gifts you sent your RAOK
    buddy were used. Now, although we stressed that gifts need not be
    expensive, your buddy clearly expressed a love for the items in the
    dollar/bargian isle of Target. In addition, it is possible to buy
    new, with or without tags, items on ebay for your buddy. However, I
    must stress this issue, NEW.

    The specific issue is regarding your gift of used sandals. Now some
    people may be fine with used shoes, but strictly from a hygine aspect,
    its not the best idea to give them as gifts. I am very sorry and I
    wish that you had rethought sending someone a pair of used sandals
    because this action has cost you your participation in RAOK.

    You will no longer be receiving RAOK gifts and you are no longer
    obligated to send out a RAOK gift.


    I replied by saying this:
    On 6/23/07, Katryna Rene <katrynar@yahoo.com> wrote:
    > Oh My goD I had no idea they were used! I got it on ebay and had the seller ship it diretly to my buddy!! she told me she doesnt mind used stuff, and when i saw the auction for a rose colored shoe (like her bag) it said it was a store display shoe and was not used! There must be a way to contest this! I meant no harm! I love my buddy!! I never meant to hurt her! I am an honest TPF member and I would never hurt someone intentionnally!

    Now I was very distraught after this! I consider myself to be a good person, and I felt like this was unfair.

    This is the reply email:

    Unfortunately this was not the first used item you sent to your buddy.
    Used magazines and catalogs were also brought to our attention.
    Unfortunately you have been disqualified and it was an issue that was
    discussed. I am sorry, but next time make it a rule of thumb that if
    it is used, it should be in New condition.

    On magazines: addresses that are scratched out and from a place of
    employment are not the best RAOK gifts to send. Additionally, Coach
    catalogs that are worn out should also be avoided.

    If money was in issue, then you should not have signed up for RAOK,
    this was clearly stated in the sign up process. Although there was no
    min or max to spend on a buddy, it was expected that thought go into
    the gifts. I know you saw what gifts were received and given in the
    past RAOK and you should have used that as a rule of thumb.

    Your disqualification was throughout about and discussed and it is in
    the best interest of all parties involved that you be removed from
    RAOK. This is final and cannot be contested as there is ample
    evidence to support your removal from RAOK.


    Now by now, I am deeply upset. I feel that attacks are being sent against my name. Of course, I tell her that this is petty and materialistic and that I was trying to send gifts that I knew she wanted. My buddy is someone who has everything, so my idea was to get her some things she does not have, (example, legacy catalog, along with jewelry resembling that of her heritage, which she told me she is not close to because there is not a big community there)

    Basically, I feel like batgirl was saying I was poor and I couldn't afford to give my buddy nice gifts.

    Get this, there would have been 4 different gifts for the month of June alone!!
    the two other gifts would have been a subscription to a magazine (which was sent)
    and a box with godiva chocolates, a rare goldfish keychain, a t shirt ressembling legacy stripes, and a pink ponytail scarf.

    Now, I email my buddy telling her I am sorry for wasting her time, and I also email the person who was sending me gifts, telling her I refuse to keep her packages because of this. She tells me no keep it, she picked it for me, and she asked batgirl to let me post it in the forum. Now batgirl sends me this disturbing PM:

    Your buddy sent you a gift just days before I told her to stop. She has requested that you post a picture of it because she worked so hard to get it for you (I know what it is and it hurts me so much that this girl did so much for you and you could not do the same for your buddy). So please, out of respect for your buddy, post the picture.


    Please tell me what I must do in this matter and if I was wrong or in the wrong.

    Thank you!

  2. This thread does not belong here on the open forum and I am reporting it.

    ETA: The Mods made it very clear when the ROAKs were starting that they were not getting involved. Another thing I want to mention is that YOU just made this a big deal because 99% of the members on this forum had no knowledge anything was going on.
  3. Im so sorry:sad: Thats really sucks that you tried to be thoughtful and someone just didn't get it. And to be disqualified... wow... I don't blame you for being mad. I would be to.
  4. Wow, that is quite a disturbing tale! Katrynar, you had the BEST INTENTIONS, and that is what matters. God knows your heart. You gave those gifts out of kindness and generosity. I feel bad that you had to endure those emails. Don't waste another valuable minute of your precious life worrying about what other people might be thinking here. You have contributed to this forum, and it would be a shame for you to not participate anymore. Again, God knows your heart...
  5. i specifically asked for ALL problems to be handled privately. this is entirely inappropriate.
  6. HOLY COW :wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf:
  7. Seems that way didn't work
  8. it's alright girl, it's the thought that counts and you were trying to be sweet to your raok buddy. there are more important things in life to worry about, you still have support.
  9. let me add something...you are NOT the first person to be removed from raok. i have done my BEST to make this run smoothly- i have done this as a favor to this forum.
  10. Mokoni, my intent was not to make this a big deal. This is a free country and I feel I have the right to express myself when it comes to this matter.
  11. this was a PRIVATE matter, and you took it public.

    People, there is MORE to this story that she is leaving out, lets not feed fuel to the fire, let it die, she is just bitter.
  12. Kallison I don't remember where you said all problems had to be handled privately, and as Mellbella said, it didnt work. I feel insulted. I have a right to say my side of the story, instead of it popping up later on in someone else's mouth or fingers.
  13. what did i leave out batgirl?
  14. how are you NOT making this a big deal?!
  15. I am asking people's input. those emails made me feel like a worm sitting underneath a rock
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