I am sorry but this is eating me inside!! I mulled this over during the weekend and cried and cried and decided this is what I must do! this is kind of long but I feel that I need to do this!! I also sent this email to the mods! Hello, Vlad or Megs or whoever is reading this, my name is Katryna. I have been a member on TPF for a while and I adored it before the following happened: Two of your members, batgirl and kallison, took it upon themselves to create a RAOK program for us in the coach forum, which is great! but due to their pettiness and materialisticness, I will never post on TPF again Because of a misunderstanding, which I will explain, they have banned me from RAOK and batgirl proceeded to send me humiliating emails degrading and desecrating my character. This is my side of the story: For RAOK, My buddy was very specific. They named their favorite shows (heroes was one), what they wanted (a legacy catalog), and I also emailed them and asked them if it was okay to send them certain things, including their size in clothing and shoes. Now my first package, I sent a limited edition Entertainment Weekly based on Heroes, the show. The magazine says on the front "For Office Use Only", Now i don't work anywhere to get the magazine. I got it somewhere else. Also, I sent my buddy my very own coveted Coach Legacy catalog (rare, when it s on eBay it goes for crazy prices), this again was my own catalog, so it was not new. Now the rules never said anything about giving new items, and I am not used to forums or things like Random Acts of Kindness, so I had no idea this was taboo. I could have sent candles and such but I knew my buddy really wanted the legacy catalog, so i sent it to her, along with the magazine, and a pair of gold earrings and a card and a starbucks gift card in the same package, because I was being thoughtful.. The second package I sent, I bid for on eBay. It was a pair of sandals in her size and her favorite color. I did not see the pair of shoes ever (except for pictures) because I bid on it directly from eBay. It was my understanding that the shoes were new, store display items (there were pictures, and the item seemed never worn). Now batgirl sends me this nasty email: Katrynar, It has been brought to my attention that the gifts you sent your RAOK buddy were used. Now, although we stressed that gifts need not be expensive, your buddy clearly expressed a love for the items in the dollar/bargian isle of Target. In addition, it is possible to buy new, with or without tags, items on ebay for your buddy. However, I must stress this issue, NEW. The specific issue is regarding your gift of used sandals. Now some people may be fine with used shoes, but strictly from a hygine aspect, its not the best idea to give them as gifts. I am very sorry and I wish that you had rethought sending someone a pair of used sandals because this action has cost you your participation in RAOK. You will no longer be receiving RAOK gifts and you are no longer obligated to send out a RAOK gift. -Cindy (batgirl0711) I replied by saying this: On 6/23/07, Katryna Rene <firstname.lastname@example.org> wrote: > Oh My goD I had no idea they were used! I got it on ebay and had the seller ship it diretly to my buddy!! she told me she doesnt mind used stuff, and when i saw the auction for a rose colored shoe (like her bag) it said it was a store display shoe and was not used! There must be a way to contest this! I meant no harm! I love my buddy!! I never meant to hurt her! I am an honest TPF member and I would never hurt someone intentionnally! > Now I was very distraught after this! I consider myself to be a good person, and I felt like this was unfair. This is the reply email: Katryna, Unfortunately this was not the first used item you sent to your buddy. Used magazines and catalogs were also brought to our attention. Unfortunately you have been disqualified and it was an issue that was discussed. I am sorry, but next time make it a rule of thumb that if it is used, it should be in New condition. On magazines: addresses that are scratched out and from a place of employment are not the best RAOK gifts to send. Additionally, Coach catalogs that are worn out should also be avoided. If money was in issue, then you should not have signed up for RAOK, this was clearly stated in the sign up process. Although there was no min or max to spend on a buddy, it was expected that thought go into the gifts. I know you saw what gifts were received and given in the past RAOK and you should have used that as a rule of thumb. Your disqualification was throughout about and discussed and it is in the best interest of all parties involved that you be removed from RAOK. This is final and cannot be contested as there is ample evidence to support your removal from RAOK. -Cindy Now by now, I am deeply upset. I feel that attacks are being sent against my name. Of course, I tell her that this is petty and materialistic and that I was trying to send gifts that I knew she wanted. My buddy is someone who has everything, so my idea was to get her some things she does not have, (example, legacy catalog, along with jewelry resembling that of her heritage, which she told me she is not close to because there is not a big community there) Basically, I feel like batgirl was saying I was poor and I couldn't afford to give my buddy nice gifts. Get this, there would have been 4 different gifts for the month of June alone!! the two other gifts would have been a subscription to a magazine (which was sent) and a box with godiva chocolates, a rare goldfish keychain, a t shirt ressembling legacy stripes, and a pink ponytail scarf. Now, I email my buddy telling her I am sorry for wasting her time, and I also email the person who was sending me gifts, telling her I refuse to keep her packages because of this. She tells me no keep it, she picked it for me, and she asked batgirl to let me post it in the forum. Now batgirl sends me this disturbing PM: Your buddy sent you a gift just days before I told her to stop. She has requested that you post a picture of it because she worked so hard to get it for you (I know what it is and it hurts me so much that this girl did so much for you and you could not do the same for your buddy). So please, out of respect for your buddy, post the picture. Thanks, Cindy Please tell me what I must do in this matter and if I was wrong or in the wrong. Thank you! I JUST WANT TO CLEAR THE AIR. I AM NOT A SELFISH PERSON. I NEVER MEANT TO HURT MY BUDDY BY SENDING HER THE LEGACY CATALOG, AND THE SHOE WAS AN HONEST MISTAKE FROM EBAY. I JUST WANTED TO CLEAR MY NAME. THANK YOU ALL ON TPF WHO WERE THERE FOR ME!! YOU ARE THE BEST!!