I feel bad! just found out accidentally what dbf got me for xmas and i can't use it!

aarti

T&co state of mind..
Nov 11, 2005
7,311
6
west coast envy
I thought I was grabbing the receipt for his mother's gift we bought for her from coach from his desk, and it ended up being the receipt for the owl necklace and earrings. Thankfully I don't know what the rest of it is but he had already given my first half being this beautiful tiffany olympian charm now sold out for 175 + tax. I fell out of love with the necklace because it was too small and I can't wear the earrings because I am very allergic to silver. I of course would wear the necklace regardless but he will take it personally that he forgot that I can't wear sterling earrings.. He always wants me to wear what he gives me 24-7 so it's not like I can pull them out every once in a while and wear them for a day. what do I do?
 

PickyCoachLover

MoreRoseGoldPlease
O.G.
Jun 9, 2010
5,633
4
Both the necklace and earrings are sterling silver...so if you are allergic to silver, you won't be able to wear either.
You are in quite the pickle, lol...I have no advice. :sad:
 

nursie

selective hoarder
O.G.
Sep 29, 2010
3,437
33
Columbia,SC
i'd put in some silver earrings tommorrow, then complain immensely about how you forgot you're so horribly allergic and show him the red reaction.

sorry that's all i've got. i'm such a meanie i'd flop my husband over the head for forgetting i'm allergic!
 

pickle

♾♥️ differently wired ♥️♾
O.G.
Apr 15, 2008
777
1
you shouldn't feel bad, you're allergic - not your fault LOL I like Nursie's idea too
 

danimeex

Danielle
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Jul 16, 2009
551
0
32
NJ
omg if you're anything like me i like gifts being a surprise. when i accidentally discover what they are i feel awful. :sad:

i like nursie's suggestion! it makes it seem like YOU forgot too, so maybe he'll feel less bad about forgetting as well. good luck!!!!
 
Dec 18, 2009
1,548
153
Calgary, Alberta
I'm going to be a little blunt here.

Be honest with him. If he's offended that you can't wear them and tries to blame you that HE forgot, well then he needs to grow the heck up.

Don't try to sugar coat this, you'll only make it worse for everyone.
 

aarti

T&co state of mind..
Nov 11, 2005
7,311
6
west coast envy
^^I welcome straight out honesty! Normally I would just be like.. hey I LOVE that you remembered I love owls, but sadly I'm allergic, can we go to dinner and stop by COACH and swap it? But he's super sensitive because for a while I was making a lot more money than he was. I had to downgrade to finish my studies and be able to conduct research so now he is the breadwinner. He comes from a traditional family and last christmas, his father who is comfortably wealthy had a friend who said he can get them a great discount at Tiffany and sold them bracelets. His father had no idea because it all seemed legit to him, and me and his sisters each got one. The bracelet was too big, and it was also fake, and I didn't know how to tell him, so I kept making excuses. Finally it came out that it was fake because I didn't want him to go to Tiffanys and get humiliated. To add to that, he thought he had got me a 1.5 carat sapphire necklace from the same guy, he trusted him completely because it was his dad's friend and he didn't know any better, and it turned out the sapphire was synethic. I was trying to set it into ring, but I had a nagging feeling it was fake as well but didn't want to say anything because I appreciated the thought. He took it really hard and felt horrible because he didn't purposely give me fake jewelry, he's always trying to treat me and I'm the one saying no. So this year I don't want to be like.. well now I'm allergic.. you know what I mean? I don't want him to feel like he can't do anything right. I am slightly allergic on my neck. I wear his tiffany locket in sterling silver and deal with the redness, but the ears are super sensitive. Am I still supposed to be blunt or do I make up an elaborate ruse? Like buy another pair and say I was given it on Christmas eve and then convienently lose it or a cousin wanted it so I gave it? I just don't want to hurt his feelings, I'm really quite happy with nothing and just spending christmas with him and giving him and his family all the gifts I bought. :sad:
 

LuvsElvis

O.G.
Aug 12, 2009
9,243
712
MN
Hi,
I would be totally honest with your BF. You are allergic to silver. You could wait until he gives you the gift or just explain that you saw the receipt and that though you love the gift, you won't be able to wear them. He shouldn't be mad because you have a legitimate reason why you can't wear the jewelry.

Good Luck!!!

Lynne :biggrin:
 

Mariquel

O.G.
Jun 23, 2008
3,888
120
^^I welcome straight out honesty! Normally I would just be like.. hey I LOVE that you remembered I love owls, but sadly I'm allergic, can we go to dinner and stop by COACH and swap it? But he's super sensitive because for a while I was making a lot more money than he was. I had to downgrade to finish my studies and be able to conduct research so now he is the breadwinner. He comes from a traditional family and last christmas, his father who is comfortably wealthy had a friend who said he can get them a great discount at Tiffany and sold them bracelets. His father had no idea because it all seemed legit to him, and me and his sisters each got one. The bracelet was too big, and it was also fake, and I didn't know how to tell him, so I kept making excuses. Finally it came out that it was fake because I didn't want him to go to Tiffanys and get humiliated. To add to that, he thought he had got me a 1.5 carat sapphire necklace from the same guy, he trusted him completely because it was his dad's friend and he didn't know any better, and it turned out the sapphire was synethic. I was trying to set it into ring, but I had a nagging feeling it was fake as well but didn't want to say anything because I appreciated the thought. He took it really hard and felt horrible because he didn't purposely give me fake jewelry, he's always trying to treat me and I'm the one saying no. So this year I don't want to be like.. well now I'm allergic.. you know what I mean? I don't want him to feel like he can't do anything right. I am slightly allergic on my neck. I wear his tiffany locket in sterling silver and deal with the redness, but the ears are super sensitive. Am I still supposed to be blunt or do I make up an elaborate ruse? Like buy another pair and say I was given it on Christmas eve and then convienently lose it or a cousin wanted it so I gave it? I just don't want to hurt his feelings, I'm really quite happy with nothing and just spending christmas with him and giving him and his family all the gifts I bought. :sad:
I think what you say you normally would do is fine, honesty is always the best policy. It's sincere and it's the truth. Emphasize the fact that he remembered about your love for owls. Besides, the episode about the fake jewelry was not intentional, and frankly, being fake has nothing to do with you being allergic. Even if it was real, you're still allergic to silver.

This is your boyfriend we are discussing, and IMHO, it's best to be truthful now, as this will only solidify your relationship for the future.

Good luck!
 

aarti

T&co state of mind..
Nov 11, 2005
7,311
6
west coast envy
^^^ I feel awful but he came back later tonight and when he texted me I told him I was really out of it because I stupidly put in silver earrings that I am allergic to without thinking so I had to take benedryl. I kept scratching my ears. I don't think he made the connection though.. the problem is is that I said I had liked the set when I first saw it, but I honestly thought it was steel not real silver, so I was the one who indirectly gave him the green light. I wonder if he thinks its steel too.. Oy!
 

PickyCoachLover

MoreRoseGoldPlease
O.G.
Jun 9, 2010
5,633
4
I seriously feel for you, OP...I am sure if you sat down and talked to him about it the problem could be fixed. Then he could go get something you COULD wear everyday. :biggrin:

My DH (then BF) used to buy me sterling silver...but he really had no way of identifying if it was real or not. Sterling is my fav metal, and does not bother me. But rhodium plated brass or nickel does...which is commonly tauted as sterling. When stuff he bought me would turn me green, he swore he would never buy anything silver...whether it be sterling or not. He gets me 10k white gold pieces now. I personally buy the sterling, LOL!

So trust me, you are not alone...and he knows you like owls, so he was definitely trying to do something awesome for you. Maybe...maybe you can look on the internet and find a nice white gold owl for a good price...and say "hey honey, look at this!"
He would probably jump at the chance of getting it for you...knowing it is gold instead of any other metal. ;)
 

aarti

T&co state of mind..
Nov 11, 2005
7,311
6
west coast envy
I'm half tempted to take benedryl everytime I wear the necklace lol! Because of how big his family is, we agree to keep the budget by 300, I know he bought me other things so With the tiffany charm costing 200 and this costing 170 and the other little things he has under the tree, I can tell he's trying to make up for last christmas. There was no need to even spring for this set... Maybe I can get it dipped? Darn my allergy!
 

cats n bags

Stinky's Mum
O.G.
Jun 24, 2008
2,148
188
I'm half tempted to take benedryl everytime I wear the necklace lol! Because of how big his family is, we agree to keep the budget by 300, I know he bought me other things so With the tiffany charm costing 200 and this costing 170 and the other little things he has under the tree, I can tell he's trying to make up for last christmas. There was no need to even spring for this set... Maybe I can get it dipped? Darn my allergy!
If you really like the little owls, don't say anything. It looks like it would be very easy to take them off the ear wire. I would take them to a jeweler and get the earring finding switched for a white metal that you can wear.

You could probably do the same with the pendant if you have a white chain in your jewelry box.

The owls are really cute, and it would be too bad that you couldn't keep them.