I cant get along with my mother....

[socalgrl86]

Sorry I just need to vent- my mother and I just cant seem to get along AT ALL. Yesterday we had a horrible fight and a few punches were thrown (from her) and I just dont know what to do anymore. (She also tried to call the cops after she hit me telling them i threated her.)The reason we fought was because she started picking on me in front of my neighbor (my good friend) and saying that im such a horrible mother and wife (she made it seem like she was kidding but i caught her looks and i KNOW she wasnt) and when I finally got fed up, I said "well, your not so perfect yourself." and started telling her her faults. Well, she went upstairs and called me up all nice and then goes off on me. She is the kind of woman who can insult me and everyone but when someone says something back to her she gets all a$# hurt and feels that she's always the victim when she is in fact, the one who starts things. I tried to apologize to her this morning and this is what she said "I dont need you hypocrosy, i dont give a sh$t about you or anyone anymore." What kind of mother says that to her kid? I mean, she told me yesterday during the fight that she doesnt need us, (being my father, me and my sister) and she wishes she could just get away and never see us again. She also said I was psycho and that I have no right to judge her on anything she does.

What should I do? I cant move out because I live here rent free so my DH and I could go to school and work and she's the one who always starts the problems. My father despises her and she hates him and yet she always tries to put us against each other. (Im a daddy's girl.)

 

[merika]

If things are this bad then I suggest you scrimp somehow and move somewhere - even a 1br apartment. When things start getting physical it's better to move away for a while until everyone gets their perspective. It sounds like your mom is more than a little manipulative and it would be good to take a breather.

I know it might be hard for you financially, but there doesn't seem to be much of an alternative, at least to me.

 

[IntlSet]

Maybe put some handbag money towards renting a place? That sounds like an awful time for your entire family. Maybe it's worth it to pay rent but have peace and quiet, plus the freedom of your own apartment.

 

[bubbleliciousis]

Hey gal, sorry to hear that. that's gotta be tough... parents can be a handful sometimes...

Are you okay though? I can't believe she hit you!!


Does your schoool have dorms that you and your Dh can move into? I really don't think it's healthy for you or your DH to be around her all the time...

if you really need to live with her, then i suggest minimal contact... if you know she's doing/saying something to put you and dad against each other, then try not to fall for it. hopefully if you ignore her enough, she'll get tired of it...

I don't know if it's a good idea to tell her if she ever hits you again you will call the police on her. if you want to say that, you need to have a backup place to stay....

and you shouldn't have to apologize esp since she hit you.....

really do try to see if you can get out of there. not good for you or your DH.

HUGS to you.

 

[Berlyn]

If things are this bad then I suggest you scrimp somehow and move somewhere - even a 1br apartment. When things start getting physical it's better to move away for a while until everyone gets their perspective. It sounds like your mom is more than a little manipulative and it would be good to take a breather.



I know it might be hard for you financially, but there doesn't seem to be much of an alternative, at least to me.

I agree ^. Get out of there!!! You don't need to be in that environment and neither does your child! It sounds like you have children Is there a way to get her out of the house? I know she is your mother and all but her actions are dangerous.

 

[handbag_luvr]

First off I hope your okay, I mean physically. But I know sometimes finances can be really hard and living somewhere rent free is always an awesome deal. But you have to weigh what is more costly now. Is it more cost effective to stay in that house and continue this unstability and drama or would it less to just move out and let some room between you and your mother. Sometimes tight corriders can make any situation more tense.

But I do hope your mom and you figure things out and make amends. If you need to feel free to hit me up, .

 

[Laneige]

maybe yr mum has a problem with expressing her emotions? and u have a kid? and u still live with them? maybe she has preferred u to settle down with a better life, then now. i think u r also being rude to her by rebuking back with those hurtful words. afterall, she's the mother. she given birth to u with u inside her.

get her a gift etc or talk to her nicely. once people put their ego and pride aside, they will listen and talk nicely. good luck.

 

[Sweetpea83]

Save up..and get out of there. When you guys are no longer there..karma will creep up on her and she will realize her mistakes. Best wishes.

 

[scarlett_2005]

I'm sorry you are going through this. I agree with the others. It might be best to leave your parents house. Does your college have on campus housing for married people?? Dh and I use to live in family housing on campus(when we lived in AZ). It was affordable but small.

Good luck.

 

[MAGs]

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time... I do suggest that you try to look for a place to stay. The tension needsto die down and I doubt it'll happen when you see each other everyday.

 

[windycityaj]

HUGS!!!! So sorry!

 

[gillianna]

I had a friend in high school whose mother used to beat her. It was horrible. She tried to take pills, was OK. She ran away, met the wrong guys and finally went to foster care. No person should have to suffer this type of abuse---and by your mother, that is unthinkable. I think there has to be a way for you and your DH to get out. I mean even if you have to go to a dorm or rent a studio apt., there have to be options for you. You need to be concerned for your safety above all else. Who knows what she might be capable of doing next.
Please take care of yourself and speak to a guidance person at the school. I am sure there is a way to get help.
I just reread your post--do you have a baby living in that house too???? If she is calling you a horrible mother a child must be involved. Please for the safety of your child do not stay.

 

[envyme]

If things are this bad then I suggest you scrimp somehow and move somewhere - even a 1br apartment. When things start getting physical it's better to move away for a while until everyone gets their perspective. It sounds like your mom is more than a little manipulative and it would be good to take a breather.

I know it might be hard for you financially, but there doesn't seem to be much of an alternative, at least to me.

Amen Merika. Sometimes, your mental state and happiness is so much more important than any amount of money you can save. Take care.

 

[alvie223]

I had similar issues with my mother, and now I would give anything to have that struggle once again as nothing has been the same since she passed last year.

Just know that you are not alone.

 

[envyme]

maybe yr mum has a problem with expressing her emotions? and u have a kid? and u still live with them? maybe she has preferred u to settle down with a better life, then now. i think u r also being rude to her by rebuking back with those hurtful words. afterall, she's the mother. she given birth to u with u inside her.

get her a gift etc or talk to her nicely. once people put their ego and pride aside, they will listen and talk nicely. good luck.

What world are you living in? Are you saying that a mother has the right to physically hit and mentally rebuke their child for the mere sake that they are "the mother"? Wow!! I would hate to be your daughter.