I am going on a ban - who else is in? join me for a support group here

mouseptrolix

mouseptrolix

Member
May 7, 2008
722
6
#1
Today I am ready to start a ban, finally. I have been on a bag roller coaster for the last two years - buying, selling, buying again. Today I bought my last bag (yes, DH has heard me say this MANY times before) - but today I feel it is time. I am ready. I want to start a ban. I just dont need anymore bags for now - I want to enjoy what I have and stop searching.

Three months ago I gave up eating my favorite food, chocolate. I did this as an excercise of strength of will. It was hard at first, but now I dont even miss it so much. I think I can do the same with bags. So my ban starts now, and will last for 2 years. It will end on my birthday in 2 years and then I will limit myself to 1-2 bags per year.

I still love checking TPF and thought it would be fun to start a little ban support group - not sure if this has been done already, but I wanted to start one today.

If you are like me, ready to start a ban, join me here and share your "ban story"!

Wish me luck!
 
#2
I have been on one for about a year now. I get sick of bags so quickly, that it was making me sick to see them just sit there. All that money and for nothing. I wore them for a couple of weeks or so, then got sick of them. All I wanted was the next bag. I think somewhere in there I realized it was an addiction. I was also going through a rough patch in my life and shopping was my outlet.

At one point, I decided that was it - no more bags. I have gifted away most of my bags the other day. I kept 2 for my DD that she said she'd want in a few years or so. For myself, I kept 1 (huge) bag for rain, 1 everyday leather bag, 1 small crossbody bag. That's it for bags. Once the daily leather bag wears out, I will buy ONE to replace it and wear it till it dies.

I have realized these bags do NOT make me happy, in fact they were causing me a lot of stress.

The other day or so, I felt the urge for another bag. I thought about it and that's when I decided to give away my bags.
 
#3
I am currently on a ban. It's good to hear that I'm not the only one who got stuck in the buy/sell cycle. It is quite stressful! Mine lasted about 6 months which I guess isn't bad? It actually started to get a little embarrassing and I quit taking to DH about my perfect bag quest, something that was weird for me because we talk about everything. I think he started to think I was nuts which may have been true for a short time and truthfully it was making me feel that way for sure. I have now settled on 3 bags, one larger hobo, a medium size handheld and one worry-free shoulder bag I use with my toddler. I'm happy with these three and they fulfill all my needs. It is a really small collection and of course I wouldn't mind have maybe one or two more but I really don't need them. So, I am currently and newly on a ban and even though I kind of miss the hunt I am much happier and a lot less stressed.

I have been going back and forth about things like "looking" and coming on tpf. If you don't look then you won't want to buy, right? I definitely don't obsess about it ike I was before but sometimes I think I probably should cut tpf out completely. What do you guys think?

Great thread btw :flowers:

I do think it can be an addiction and it's nice to know there are others who have gone through something similar.
 
#4
Thank you for starting this thread! I feel its time for me too. I have been a Chanel fanatic since 2007 and have had the privilege of owning beautiful bags. Unfortunately quality has gone downhill and I am now happy to be the proud owner of 2 reissues, 1 classic flap, all of which are pre 2008 bags. Just added a Prada tote for days where I need to bring more stuff. But I really want to slow down and switch gears.

Not only with bags though...I have been spending alot on clothes too and it has come to a point for me to realise that a couple of hundred for a dress is really too much to pay. Big sigh...

So I think its time for me to simplify my wants and and spend less too.
 
#6
mods please remove the above post!

this post is a direct copy of the thread about "Regret Selling Bags" etc. under the Handbags and Purses forum.

it is simply a link to a fake bag seller
thank you
 
#7
i was on a ban since last year June. However, I broke the ban in just a few days ago.
Now, I am back for a ban till end of year or next year May.

Sometimes, the temptation is just too high for me.
 
#8
i've been trying to ban myself on/off for like 1 year. i'm going to try again, ideal is no more bag till dec or may'11. i really need to stop buy/sell ... i don't think it's normal to own 10 bags yet half of them are still unused.
 
#9
Ah, the buy/sell handbag hamster wheel. I've taken a spin or two on that ride myself in the past. I gave up Internet surfing for Lent this year ( including no TPF) and it was a real eye opener. I didn't think about looking for new styles and really enjoyed what I have.

I hate to say it but I would recommend staying off TPF for a bit and maybe stay connected to some of your friends here through email or FBinstead. Also, if you have a hobby or other interest, find a forum related to that for a bit. Sometimes a break is best to break the cycle. I hope that helps!
 
#10
My name is Ashley... and I'm a handbagaholic.
It's been two days since my last handbag purchase.

I don't mean that as a joke... I am SERIOUSLY ADDICTED TO HANDBAGS!

My husband has tried to help me quit, but I just can't help it. The problem is mostly ebay. The merchandise changes every day, so how can I NOT look????

Please start a support group, I desperately need it.

Even my signature is a bold faced lie :cry:
 
#12
LabelLover81 said:
My name is Ashley... and I'm a handbagaholic.
It's been two days since my last handbag purchase.

I don't mean that as a joke... I am SERIOUSLY ADDICTED TO HANDBAGS!

My husband has tried to help me quit, but I just can't help it. The problem is mostly ebay. The merchandise changes every day, so how can I NOT look????

Please start a support group, I desperately need it.

Even my signature is a bold faced lie :cry:
Click to expand...

aww i feel your pain.... *hugs*

we need to stay strong together!
 
#13
LabelLover81 said:
My name is Ashley... and I'm a handbagaholic.
It's been two days since my last handbag purchase.

I don't mean that as a joke... I am SERIOUSLY ADDICTED TO HANDBAGS!

My husband has tried to help me quit, but I just can't help it. The problem is mostly ebay. The merchandise changes every day, so how can I NOT look????

Please start a support group, I desperately need it.

Even my signature is a bold faced lie :cry:
Click to expand...

LabelLover,

The fact that you're saying this is such a big and important step. On the short term, is it possible for you to shift your attention to something else? A new hobby, a new forum unrelated to bags, anything to help you interrupt your focus on bags? I think you need to replace this behavior with something else that will distract you long enough for you to start to shift away from buying. Please PM me if I can help you in an way.:smile:
 
#14
Thank you Ladies. Unfortunately, you're right. I think I do need to stay away from tPF. But the problem is I'm home all day by myself and I get sooo bored! TPF was a great place for me to come to cure that boredom .... but now I have to find some place else!
 
#15
Wow, it is so wonderful to know we are not alone and so many people share the same feelings and experience!!! Thank you so much for sharing!!

Here it begins, the DAY 1 of the purse ban.

Some things I realized that may be of help:

1. Stop the guilty feeling.
The vicious cycle of feeling bad for buying bags, selling them to try to feel better, only to end up feeling bad for parting with some nice purses. This leads to buying even more bags and never being satisfied. I am going to try to stop feeling bad about what happened. I am not going to feel guilty anymore - whats done is done, and this is the time to focus on the future. Don't feel bad about yourself, don't hate your bags, don't hate the obsession, simply stop it and move on. Make it an enjoyable process, not guilty one.

2. Enjoy my bags- they are wonderful!!
The never ending hunt for something out there, something else which will be the next HG, something new popping up on ebay, staring at the listing pictures, lust for something I dont have - this has to end. Instead - I am going to take a good look at my closet today. I am going to say "Hello!!" to my wonderful bags I have collected, may be take some pictures wearing them and stare at my own bags' pictures instead!!

3. Checking TPF obsessively and checking ebay obsessively is the reason I cant stop.
I am going to admit to myself that mindlessly hunting is the core of all problems. Dont surf ebay anymore. Period. Check TPF only to visit this thread and talk to other addicts like me so that we could help each other!!

4. Most importanly - in order to stop any addiction, one has to decide it is time and really want to stop.
I truly did not want to stop the addiction earlier. One thing is to know you are addicted, but the whole other thing is to actually WANT to end it.
That is the trickiest part I had to deal with. Make it symbolic. Talk to God if you need to - that's what I did. Give your word to someone you respect - I promised my husband. I feel it is time.


Put the past behind us and start something different. Enjoy the bags we have and get together here to share!!!
 
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