I am fed up with my cat! Please help (sorry it's long) :(

purplekitty

Certified bag addict
Mar 31, 2006
4,294
1
The reason why I posed that question to you is because of your comment "please don't give up until you find the source and change it". The OP stated that her cat started spraying after her first child was born, so that tells me that, more than likely, he is marking his territory. If that is the case, how can the source be changed? I repeat, what then? Surely finding him a loving home (where he wouldn't have to be medicated) would be a kind thing to do? (I would imagine that medicating him will only cover the problem, not solve it and certainly not be good for his long term health). I'm not quite sure how you know, without question, that the cat "isn't deciding to spray, the poor little guy can't help it"?? Whether he can help it or not, the result is still the same: a very unhealthy environment for all concerned.
Can I ask, what was the source of your cat's stress?
Please re-read what I wrote as you misinterpreted what I said: I said to take up the vet's offer of getting her cat a tranquilizer for a FEW DAYS to see if it makes a difference. That's what they did with my cat, she was on a tranquilizer for a FEW DAYS, then she was all better, and she takes it now when needed. So, I DID NOT say for the cat to be medicated LONG TERM at all, I wouldn't be for something like that. And, if the source is indeed stress, medicating will not be covering the problem, it will be helping it. A tranquilizer calms the nerves and reduces stress, and if stress is the source of the problem, it should help, like in my experience.
And I am not a veteranarian, I can't answer all of your questions. All I am doing is offering hope and positive vibes for the OP and her cat. I am offering my advice based on positive experience in hopes that it would help her kitty.

OP: I know you love your cat, so I would really try ALL options before having to consider rehoming your cat. If you do indeed decide to rehome your kitty, find someone you know and trust, of course. But the next step that I would do is ask your vet about prescribing acepromazine(or something like it) for your kitty like I described earlier. Please keep us updated!
 
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Apr 25, 2007
6,352
10
San Antonio
Thank you all so much for your suggestions. Warning, this will be a long post:shame:

I can pin point the first time he sprayed. It was while I was in the hospital having my first child. I ended up staying a little longer due to complications, and when we got home with our new baby I found that he had marked the bread box on the kitchen counter. I figured he was just mad that we were gone for a few days.

He continued on from there.. just every now and then.. on Sophia's clothes hamper and mostly around her room.. so I figured he was just acting out on this new person in our home.. I took him to the vet just to make sure he was OK, no urinary problems. I have taken him twice for the spraying and nothing is wrong with his bladder or urinary tract. I had him neutered at 6 months because our vet noted that we was very matured and was ready. The vet actually said he had very large testicles:lol:

Now we have moved into our new home and have another baby. He has just gotten worse. I can say that my girls do not terrorize him at all. Sophia does not bother him, he isn't the nicest to kids actually, so I don't even let her play with him. He backed a four year old that I was babysitting into a corner once.. then when the kid tried to bolt Brodie attacked him:sad: He has never shown any aggression to our children though, except for spraying their stuff.

I found today that he has saturated the rug in front of our front door. I think there may be a cat outside that he doesn't like on top of everything else that is bothering him.

I just want to let everyone know that I am not the kind of person who gives up an animal just because they ruin stuff. If that was the case I would not have any of these animals.. Zoe (our boxer) has torn up many things! And Brodie has already scratched up a few pieces of antique furniture given to me by my grandmother, and my great-great Aunt. I adopted these animals with every intention of keeping them for life. I would never dump Brodie at any animal shelter no-kill or not. I really do love him he is so sweet to us and comes to our bed every night to get his lovin'. He likes to sleep in our bed too.

I hate that Brodie is doing this though, because yes, I do fear about the cleanliness issue with my 10 month old CRAWLING on the floor that repeatedly gets urinated and sprayed on! I clean and disinfect them as much as I can and immediately after I find a spot, but I cannot patrol the house all day looking for them! He sprays somewhere at least once a day.. I have cleaned up two areas again today..

I just don't see why he is so frustrated! We do not abuse him in any way. I have never hit him or done anything of that nature. He gets loved on a lot, we don't ignore him even though we do have kids and he lives very comfortably, with all the hidden sleeping areas and scratch posts a cat could want. He may not like all the animals in the house but I think he is the leader of the bunch even over the dog! Brodie rules around these parts, he is after all the man of the house (animal wise):lol:

I have made an appointment for him on the 27th and I am going to try more of the feliway products and make sure that the neutering was successful (from the suggestion of a poster) I really never liked the idea of meds, but may end up trying them at a last resort. I am also going to get something to try and keep other cats out of my yard if that is possible:confused1:

I will only give him up if I come to the conclusion that it would be better for him. I would have to find a home that has no pets or kids... like an older couple or person, and that person would have to give him back to me if it did not work out. I don't know if I would ever ever have the heart to give him up though, he has been my kitty for almost 8 years:crybaby:
 

DlkinVegas

O.G.
Jul 24, 2006
1,457
0
I would have to say I would find kitty a new home. Someone w/o children or maybe a senior couple. He is obviously stressed out by his living arrangements. Being it's 2 years later & he is still stressed, I dont think he is going to go back to his old self.
 

IntlSet

Bonjour!
Jan 29, 2006
12,532
48
Chicago
Taralindsay, you sound like a great kitty-mom and human-mom, and I wish you the best of luck. Keep us updated.
 

kimberf

Loves the Lindy!
O.G.
Mar 8, 2007
4,078
2
California
Sorry that you're going through this, especially with a little one down on the floor.

I only went through a brief period of my cat going outside the litterbox (she's a girl, so not really spraying) following a cross country move to move in with my then-boyfriend, during which I also stupidly changed her litter. When I switched the litter back to something familiar, the problem ended. So, changing the litter could potentially help, especially if you could maybe put him somewhere with the box for a while. I know you said everywhere has carpet, but maybe use the garage for a week or so, and not put the cars in there (if it's warm enough where you are)?

I used an enyzme based cleaner to remove the smell, and it worked very well. It had just a slight vanilla scent, nothing unpleasant. I think I did go through a lot of it and had to reapply a couple of times, but it totally removed the smell in the end. I can't find the exact brand, but at the time, at least, it had a little drawing of a cat and dog holding their noses on the label.

DH's stepmom had a more ongoing problem with one of her two cats, especially with the couches. They put her on prozac or xanax and it really helped, so I think it's worth a try. I don't see how it's different from taking care of your cat for any other long-term medical condition, which you would certainly do. Our cat is on daily meds because without them she gets a bad cough, and another friend's kitty has an insulin pump for his diabetes. It's part of taking care of your pet.
 

Speedy

Member
Nov 1, 2007
2,727
0
63
N. California
I'm pleased to see you taking my suggestion about his neutering perhaps not being top notch, when you said the vet mentioned he had big testicles I had to laugh. Methinks he's got much more than his fair share!

Also get a squirt bottle to correct his bad behaviour when you catch him at it. This is the most effective way I've found to disapline a cat without hurting them. No special mixture, just plain water. You can usually tell when a cat is about to spray, they get this intense look on their faces. Squirt as soon as you see him doing unwated behaviour, and if he stops right away, praise him. I know, you are thinking, hey this is a cat! All animals learn by rote, and if you are consistant, your cat will learn to behave.

I keep you in my best wishes, thank you for trying hard with this pet, instead of doing what so many do, dump them.
 

QueenOfDa702

Ma to the d@mn D-E-A
O.G.
Jan 27, 2007
7,703
2
Phoenix, AZ
If you find your cat a new home please WAIT until you actually find him a HOME. Do NOT dump your cat at an animal shelter, even if it is a no-kill shelter (these can sometimes be even more packed and disgusting than regular shelters). Call each and every friend you have to see if they would be willing to take your cat.

Of course, ditching a companion of many years because he's suddenly developed problems definitely is testament to one's character... that of course, is for you to judge. Nobody here can decide what's right for you.

As for "ruining expensive things so he's got to go," I would just seriously throw my hands up. Anyone who puts THAT much stock into "expensive things" probably should reconsider priorities. It is totally crazy to place material possessions above an animal's life, especially one who has been with you for years. Even if it does take MONTHS, you can stick this out. He didn't ask to be owned by you or to have the issues he's having the source of which the vet believes may be in your household, so stick by him until you can find him a good new home.
Yea, but when the expensive thing is a wooden floor that your KIDS crawl/play on, its a whole different story. Your kids come before a pet any day.
 

lorihmatthews

A taste for the arts
O.G.
Oct 7, 2006
31,704
6,460
San Francisco
I had trouble with my cat last year. She was exhibiting aggressive behavior only toward me, not my DH. There was a lot of construction going on in our building and the noise just about pushed her over the edge. Thankfully things are back to normal now. The following helped mellow her out, you might try these things:

1. Feliway plug-ins (which it sounds like you're already doing)
2. Rescue Remedy in his drinking water (this can be purchased at Whole Foods and is safe for animals and humans)
3. Classical music station on all day (I swear this mellows out my cat like nothing else)
4. Sequester the cat in a small room (like a bathroom) if you catch him in the act

Good luck, I hope these suggestions help.
 

bnjj

Jovi Junkie
O.G.
Apr 20, 2007
10,215
13
Bon Jovi Blvd.
I had trouble with my cat last year. She was exhibiting aggressive behavior only toward me, not my DH. There was a lot of construction going on in our building and the noise just about pushed her over the edge. Thankfully things are back to normal now. The following helped mellow her out, you might try these things:

1. Feliway plug-ins (which it sounds like you're already doing)
2. Rescue Remedy in his drinking water (this can be purchased at Whole Foods and is safe for animals and humans)
3. Classical music station on all day (I swear this mellows out my cat like nothing else)
4. Sequester the cat in a small room (like a bathroom) if you catch him in the act

Good luck, I hope these suggestions help.
I mentioned Rescue Remedy a couple pages ago. I was putting it in my cats' water for about a week and did not see a difference in their anxiety levels. How long did you have to give it to your cat before you saw a difference? Maybe I didn't give it enough time.
 

lorihmatthews

A taste for the arts
O.G.
Oct 7, 2006
31,704
6,460
San Francisco
I mentioned Rescue Remedy a couple pages ago. I was putting it in my cats' water for about a week and did not see a difference in their anxiety levels. How long did you have to give it to your cat before you saw a difference? Maybe I didn't give it enough time.
I think it took at LEAST a couple weeks, up to a month ... but I should emphasize it was the combination of the total things I did, not just one element.
 

Speedy

Member
Nov 1, 2007
2,727
0
63
N. California
Rescue Remedy works best if you squirt it directly into the animal's mouth. A percentage of it is alcohol, so basically, you get a drunk kitty.

However, vets reccomend quite a bit. I use it with my one dog on long drives since she hates being cooped up. As with all medications and suppliments, read the directions carefully.