I am fed up with my cat! Please help (sorry it's long) :(

bnjj

Jovi Junkie
O.G.
Apr 20, 2007
10,215
13
Bon Jovi Blvd.
I am always wary of trying to rehome cats that spray - you never know how another person may react to the behaviour. You are good enough to surpress the urge to beat him senseless - not everyone is that strong and tolerating.

My cat started peeing everywhere due to a bladder issue - which I understand is not your issue - but the vet suggested locking her in the bathroom with a bed and her litter box for 2 weeks. We would visit her, feed her, water her and love her in the bathroom during this time. The point was to show the cat that the litter is the place to happen (without all of the fun new smells and distractions in the rest of the home). It worked - I highly reccomend your trying this approach to solving your problem.

GOOD LUCK!!
That is the exact argument I make to everyone who tells me to find my cat a new home. I could never do that.

My vet also suggested keeping my cat secluded in a room for a period of time but my bathrooms are not big enough and I don't have another secluded room without carpet.
 
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Glamfoxx

O.G.
Jun 6, 2007
1,190
15
A long time ago, I had a neutered male cat that started spraying. He ruined the wood floors and my expensive rugs. I tried everything to get him to stop, including caging him (large dog sized cage) while I was out. I took him to the vet, not once, but twice to be sure he did not have any health problems. It was not an option for me, to live with that disgusting smell while all of my things got ruined. I contacted an old friend who is a horse trainer, and he became a barn cat. Sometimes cats won't stop spraying no matter what you try, don't feel bad if you do decide he is not the cat for you.
 

IntlSet

Bonjour!
Jan 29, 2006
12,532
48
Chicago
Please don't give up on your cat. There has to be a solution... have you done some reading? There are some great books on there on pet behavior... my male, neutered cat also started peeing everywhere... it was really just a phase he ended up growing out of. I think he must have been stressed out at that period...

Did your vet, who said he thinks your cat is very stressed, indicate what the possibilities might be? Are your kids taunting or abusing the cat (not accusing them but sometimes you just don't know)? Anything you can think of?
 

purplekitty

Certified bag addict
Mar 31, 2006
4,294
1
Please don't give up on your cat. There has to be a solution... have you done some reading? There are some great books on there on pet behavior... my male, neutered cat also started peeing everywhere... it was really just a phase he ended up growing out of. I think he must have been stressed out at that period...

Did your vet, who said he thinks your cat is very stressed, indicate what the possibilities might be? Are your kids taunting or abusing the cat (not accusing them but sometimes you just don't know)? Anything you can think of?
My thoughts exactly. There is a reason why your kitty is doing it, and please don't give up until you find the source and change it. If it is stress, find out what is stressing him. Please please don't get rid of your cat because of this. He depends on you and trusts you. And like someone mentioned, what if he went to an owner who wasn't tolerante of him doing this and handled the situation in a worse way?
Don't be mad at him, he can't help it. Just be there for him and figure this out. Good luck!
 

Speedy

Member
Nov 1, 2007
2,727
0
63
N. California
First, have your vet double-check that the neutering was succesful, his actions make me think perhaps it wasn't. A cat cut at 6 months should not even be backing up to things to spray.

If that's okay, then I'd have to say it was the birth of your child that set him off. Cats are weird critters... I have two but they aren't mine, they belong to my older brother who rescued them, but since he's already got two cats, they live here. However, I did discover a few things to discourage some of the worse of their actions, such as scratching at my 2,000.00 recliner or getting on my diningroom table. A simple squirt bottle saved the one cat's life, I was ready to strangle her. Just fill it with plain water... and the best part is, they associate the getting wet with their actions, not you. They KNOW there is no way you could have made them wet, you are over there, and they are here trying to eat your begonias! How'd that happen? They will learn rather wuickly to stop an undesired action.

Even if they do see you use the bottle, this is fine. I keep one beside me, since they are quicker than I am. I just make sure if I pick it up, I WILL use it if the behaviour doesn't stop on it's own at the sight of the bottle. Neither cat has "held it against me", they both still get up here with me and cuddle.

You might also try changing the brand of cat litter you use. Some clay based litters as well as some with the green flecks make cats sick. Fresh Step is excellent, it has no masking odors that cats don't like.

Clean spots they've peed on with white vinegar and water, 50/50. Not only does this kill the smell, but they also can't smell that they'd been there already. All those expensive cleaners meant for accidents (or in this case, on purposes) that cats and dogs make are nothing more than white vinegar and some other chemicals. Don't fall for it!

I am against constantly drugging an animal to get it to comply to your will. It's not fair to the pet nor you. If you cannot cure or retrain your cat, the kindest thing would be to find a home for him (as long as you are 100% truthful in WHY you need to rehome him, a barn cat is a wonderful idea) or, have him put to sleep. (Obviously, this would be the last resort.)
 

dallas

O.G.
Jan 17, 2007
6,087
9
My thoughts exactly. There is a reason why your kitty is doing it, and please don't give up until you find the source and change it. If it is stress, find out what is stressing him. Please please don't get rid of your cat because of this. He depends on you and trusts you. And like someone mentioned, what if he went to an owner who wasn't tolerante of him doing this and handled the situation in a worse way?
Don't be mad at him, he can't help it. Just be there for him and figure this out. Good luck![/quotte]

What if the "source" is the OP's child? What then? It's not a healthy environment for the child (or indeed, parents) to be in and surely, their health should be the main priority. It may take months to figure out why the cat is doing this and meanwhile he will be spraying all over their home. I think, unless the cat has a medical problem, he can help it, we just don't know the reason why he's doing it. It sounds like he would be happier on a farm...
 

QueenOfDa702

Ma to the d@mn D-E-A
O.G.
Jan 27, 2007
7,703
2
Phoenix, AZ
Let me first say I LOVE LOVE LOVE animals!
But, if he is ruining expensive things and you have no way of stopping it(it sounds like you've tried almost everything) he would be gone if he were in my home. I realize you love him, but think about your kids being on the floor! If you cant find a good solution from one of these great people her on tPF, my only suggestion is to find him another home. Maybe one with no kids and no other pets-maybe an older person? I really do wish you luck!! Please keep us updated.
:flowers:
 

ladyjane76

ladyjane
O.G.
Jul 13, 2007
1,481
10
Agrestic
I feel like im reading my own thred write now, I truly now what your going through the only difference is tookies preferred to do it on the couch.NOT COOL!!! It started on a papasan chair, than that got tossed because seriously we all know theres NOTHING you can do to get rid of that smell!! Than he graduated to my ex's couch. then nothing for like 2yrs than it was everyday for like 2weeks on my couch, of course I had those stupid dog pads on it which I later learned actually drew them nearer to it. I tried everything as well ,feliway spray, feliway plug ins, unscented kitty litter, animal pyschic, yes you heard right, animal psychic and kitty prozak(amitripilyn) my vet just said he was high strung, has seperation anxiety, and behaviral problems (really... no sh*@) probally because I had gotten him from the spca at 1yrs old he was beaten b4, and he was already a "returned" cat. they probally should have told me that, but I just fell in love with him and it was kitten season everyone wanted the kittens. he has the most beautiful blue eyes, but unfortunately tinfoil is an everyday fixture on my new couches just to make sure it doesnt happen again, However, he was taken BUSPAR or generic BUSPIRIONE 5MG tablets 1/2 tabs twice a day for a long time that did seem to help. this has been going on for about 7yrs on and off. whole years of NO PEE, than BAM, I just hate stressing him out again and putting him back on it. I even got him a little sister thinking that would help, gosh I really think he hates his little mia, but bless her she does try.I cant imagine giving him to someone else becase someonelse would be like are you friggin kidding me this cat is gonna be sent to the big barn in the sky, faster than he can hide.
 

purplekitty

Certified bag addict
Mar 31, 2006
4,294
1
What if the "source" is the OP's child? What then? It's not a healthy environment for the child (or indeed, parents) to be in and surely, their health should be the main priority. It may take months to figure out why the cat is doing this and meanwhile he will be spraying all over their home. I think, unless the cat has a medical problem, he can help it, we just don't know the reason why he's doing it. It sounds like he would be happier on a farm...
Yes, well, what if it isn't?:shrugs: There are countless possibilites that could be causing her kitty to be acting like he is, and with those countless possibilites are countless solutions that all don't have to be rehoming the cat. And I disagree, regardless of whether or not the kitty has a medical problem, he can't help it. How about when we humans get stressed out? Sometimes that leads to illness that we CAN'T help. Animals, too. My cat got really stressed out a few months back, where she was vomiting because of stress, and obviously my little cat couldn't help vomiting, she couldn't control it. It's like telling someone with depression induced by stress that "you can help it" which is essentially the same as telling someone with a disease such as diabetes "you can help it." It all goes hand in hand. All in all, whatever is causing her cat to do this, the cat isn't deciding to spray, the poor little guy can't help it.
OP: Maybe take up your vet's offer about a tranquilizer to give your cat to see if it helps any. My vet did that when my cat was vomiting due to stress, and she was given this meds along with stomach meds, and her vomiting stopped and hasn't had it since. The med is Acepromazine 10mg, 1/4 tab orally every 6-8 hours as needed for anxiety. I normally give it to her before vet appointments, car trips, other times of stress. Obviously, your cat couldn't be on a med like this every single day, but maybe just taking it for a few days would calm him down if the source is stress, then he will stop like in my experience.
Keep us updated! Best of luck!
 

dallas

O.G.
Jan 17, 2007
6,087
9
Yes, well, what if it isn't?:shrugs: There are countless possibilites that could be causing her kitty to be acting like he is, and with those countless possibilites are countless solutions that all don't have to be rehoming the cat. And I disagree, regardless of whether or not the kitty has a medical problem, he can't help it. How about when we humans get stressed out? Sometimes that leads to illness that we CAN'T help. Animals, too. My cat got really stressed out a few months back, where she was vomiting because of stress, and obviously my little cat couldn't help vomiting, she couldn't control it. It's like telling someone with depression induced by stress that "you can help it" which is essentially the same as telling someone with a disease such as diabetes "you can help it." It all goes hand in hand. All in all, whatever is causing her cat to do this, the cat isn't deciding to spray, the poor little guy can't help it.

The reason why I posed that question to you is because of your comment "please don't give up until you find the source and change it". The OP stated that her cat started spraying after her first child was born, so that tells me that, more than likely, he is marking his territory. If that is the case, how can the source be changed? I repeat, what then? Surely finding him a loving home (where he wouldn't have to be medicated) would be a kind thing to do? (I would imagine that medicating him will only cover the problem, not solve it and certainly not be good for his long term health). I'm not quite sure how you know, without question, that the cat "isn't deciding to spray, the poor little guy can't help it"?? Whether he can help it or not, the result is still the same: a very unhealthy environment for all concerned.
Can I ask, what was the source of your cat's stress?
 

DesigningStyle

I left my heart in Sicily.
O.G.
Dec 20, 2006
20,306
1,564
NJ, USA
OMG! Stop the insanity! Save both yours and his! Brodie needs to be rehomed. I speak from experience. Twenty years ago, I took a new job with new hours that my cat did not approve of and he started peeing on my desk--the very desk I would sit at when I returned from work. I tried everything. He will quite frankly pissed off at me! He was rehomed and the behavior disappeared. This is Brodie's issue; he is unhappy and since he can't talk this is how he is expressing himself.

Of course your other option is to rehome the kids and other kitty! Just joking! Believe me Brodie will be better off and so will you.
 

IntlSet

Bonjour!
Jan 29, 2006
12,532
48
Chicago
If you find your cat a new home please WAIT until you actually find him a HOME. Do NOT dump your cat at an animal shelter, even if it is a no-kill shelter (these can sometimes be even more packed and disgusting than regular shelters). Call each and every friend you have to see if they would be willing to take your cat.

Of course, ditching a companion of many years because he's suddenly developed problems definitely is testament to one's character... that of course, is for you to judge. Nobody here can decide what's right for you.

As for "ruining expensive things so he's got to go," I would just seriously throw my hands up. Anyone who puts THAT much stock into "expensive things" probably should reconsider priorities. It is totally crazy to place material possessions above an animal's life, especially one who has been with you for years. Even if it does take MONTHS, you can stick this out. He didn't ask to be owned by you or to have the issues he's having the source of which the vet believes may be in your household, so stick by him until you can find him a good new home.
 

ladyjane76

ladyjane
O.G.
Jul 13, 2007
1,481
10
Agrestic
If you find your cat a new home please WAIT until you actually find him a HOME. Do NOT dump your cat at an animal shelter, even if it is a no-kill shelter (these can sometimes be even more packed and disgusting than regular shelters). Call each and every friend you have to see if they would be willing to take your cat.

Of course, ditching a companion of many years because he's suddenly developed problems definitely is testament to one's character... that of course, is for you to judge. Nobody here can decide what's right for you.

As for "ruining expensive things so he's got to go," I would just seriously throw my hands up. Anyone who puts THAT much stock into "expensive things" probably should reconsider priorities. It is totally crazy to place material possessions above an animal's life, especially one who has been with you for years. Even if it does take MONTHS, you can stick this out. He didn't ask to be owned by you or to have the issues he's having the source of which the vet believes may be in your household, so stick by him until you can find him a good new home.
I know what you mean, I know it's disguisting...:throwup: I get it. But It's a couch, they are only things, the fact of the matter is I dont have "children" and these are my "children" I will go through 100 couches if I have to b4 I would put him to sleep, just looking at his pink little nose and his big blue eyes makes my heart melt were stuck with each other and thats just the way it goes!!:heart:

Give Brodie a little longer ask the vet about the buspar, try it, see if it helps, try it for at least 2 months.
 

airmarket

:)
O.G.
Jan 22, 2007
776
3
Los Angeles
I would try the medication. Don't give up on him.. like someone above said- you have no idea how he will be treated in another person's home. There is no way to know that, unless perhaps a close friend of yours took him. I used to have a cat that urinated on everything- but she had a UTI, which I know you said is not the case.
 

IntlSet

Bonjour!
Jan 29, 2006
12,532
48
Chicago
I know what you mean, I know it's disguisting...:throwup: I get it. But It's a couch, they are only things, the fact of the matter is I dont have "children" and these are my "children" I will go through 100 couches if I have to b4 I would put him to sleep, just looking at his pink little nose and his big blue eyes makes my heart melt were stuck with each other and thats just the way it goes!!:heart:
I agree. When I had my cat at my parents' home right after I graduated college, he managed to destory an enormous gold-gilt and mahogany frame by knocking the painting over when it was leaning against the wall... reframing that painting would end up costing a pretty penny... My dad just shrugged and said, "What am I going to do, wring his neck? Give him a lecture?" Of course there's nothing to be done because it's just a stupid material item. It's not like your cat is ruining one-of-a-kind Monet paintings or original Biedermeier dining tables. I think how one treats one's animals is a huge indication of that person's character.