Husbands, Husbands, Husbands!!
- Thread starter iqaganda
- Start date
well i think iqa, buying 1 hermes is much better. that's also my hubby's philosophy. why buy too many when i can really have what i am dying to have.
hi rica!
first of all, if you already found a job, congratulations! i remember you saying that you were out of a job a couple of weeks ago.
now here's my two cents- i was a stay at home mom for almost 7 years and then started working again a year ago. that was the time i felt i could buy the bags i wanted because i was making my own money. now, i am staying home again and this time, i am holding off on the bag purchases. there are a lot of bags out there that i am drooling over (my wishlist is proof of that, haha!) but i am happy with what i have. my dh and i have agreed that any unecessary luxurious purchases have to be thought out very well. just remember that no bag is ever worth fighting seriously with your husband about. concentrate on your beautiful baby and enjoy the bags you currently have. good luck!
first of all, if you already found a job, congratulations! i remember you saying that you were out of a job a couple of weeks ago.
now here's my two cents- i was a stay at home mom for almost 7 years and then started working again a year ago. that was the time i felt i could buy the bags i wanted because i was making my own money. now, i am staying home again and this time, i am holding off on the bag purchases. there are a lot of bags out there that i am drooling over (my wishlist is proof of that, haha!) but i am happy with what i have. my dh and i have agreed that any unecessary luxurious purchases have to be thought out very well. just remember that no bag is ever worth fighting seriously with your husband about. concentrate on your beautiful baby and enjoy the bags you currently have. good luck!
okay now I'm totally confused. are you employed or aren't you? This was written less than 2 weeks ago? Can't help you out if you aren't being straight with us....
i got my long service pay for my old job end of october, and now i have a new job already.
i got my long service pay for my old job end of october, and now i have a new job already.
thats wonderful. good for you!
now about your hubby getting irate about the bags...usually, someone wouldn't be perturbed over just the quantity of bags you have but more over the cost of those bags. Maybe he's just a little nervous that you are spending too much with a new baby and all. My DH likes my collection and sees that I take spending breaks (like now - kinda :shame
. Plus he spends alot of dough on his passions and in the end we can afford it. But believe me, if he began to show some serious concern to the point of being angry at me about them, and if it was over money, I would listen to him, see if we had serious money issues and stop altogether. Our marriage and finances mean more to both of us than anything we collect. I'd rather have a peaceful household than one filled with bags no matter how much I love them. 
(sorry for the run on sentences, its early...)
You should sell bags that are gathering dust and use that to fund a new purchase. And from here on out, try the one-in one-out rule. In order to buy a new bag you should get rid of a bag you no longer want. This way you aren't letting expensive bags go to waste.
Also maybe the fun for you is the buying and not the actual bag. So maybe limit your purchase to 1 or 2 a year, so you only buy bags you really want.
Your husband seems to be raising a larger issue than the bag themselves - it's wise to curb excessive spending when you have a family.
Also maybe the fun for you is the buying and not the actual bag. So maybe limit your purchase to 1 or 2 a year, so you only buy bags you really want.
Your husband seems to be raising a larger issue than the bag themselves - it's wise to curb excessive spending when you have a family.
i used to have the urge of wanting more and more bags before in my previous relationship... i don't really understand why, we were happy, we lived and worked together and i made my own money by doing a side job that i did alone and there's where i spend the money for bags.
i seem to never satisfied with what i had, i always wanted more and more.
but after we broke up (the issue we broken up is not because of money or handbags btw, it's because of a 3rd person from his side), i felt no passion for those bags, i realized that those are just materials and i want my relationship more than a new handbag.
no handbag can cure my sadness.
and now i'm having a new relationship and i'm pretty content. i love him and i don't really feel the need of having or purchasing something new or fancy to make me "happy" which i also just realized about the buing and buying issue in my prev. relationship.
i wasn't really happy before, and i need a "fix" on my life, to fill the emotions and i got that from purchasing handbags. weird maybe but it's true.
now i only buy what i really want and need, i even sold some of the bags i don't really use to make myself more and more financially stable.
my new bf have no issue with me buying bags, but i felt guilty just to look at how much money is there on those bags piling up.
i told him i'm selling some of my bags, and he said he never asked me to sell anything, i said yeah, but i want to let go some of the things i don't need.
i want to be more "light-weight"
i don't want to have too many things.
about desire, of course i still have desire for more and more bags. it's very human. but i try to control myself more.
now when i want to have something new, i lose something old.
the point of my long thread is
do u really happy with your life now?
are u happy with ur husband?
do u really LOVE him? do u feel ur children are a burden to u?
because i see that u're still very young and it's very understandable to feel caged or prisoned in what life u're living now.
and maybe, ur shopping habits comes from the "unhapiness" inside you.
and u need that fix to make u feel happy.
i seem to never satisfied with what i had, i always wanted more and more.
but after we broke up (the issue we broken up is not because of money or handbags btw, it's because of a 3rd person from his side), i felt no passion for those bags, i realized that those are just materials and i want my relationship more than a new handbag.
no handbag can cure my sadness.
and now i'm having a new relationship and i'm pretty content. i love him and i don't really feel the need of having or purchasing something new or fancy to make me "happy" which i also just realized about the buing and buying issue in my prev. relationship.
i wasn't really happy before, and i need a "fix" on my life, to fill the emotions and i got that from purchasing handbags. weird maybe but it's true.
now i only buy what i really want and need, i even sold some of the bags i don't really use to make myself more and more financially stable.
my new bf have no issue with me buying bags, but i felt guilty just to look at how much money is there on those bags piling up.
i told him i'm selling some of my bags, and he said he never asked me to sell anything, i said yeah, but i want to let go some of the things i don't need.
i want to be more "light-weight"
i don't want to have too many things.
about desire, of course i still have desire for more and more bags. it's very human. but i try to control myself more.
now when i want to have something new, i lose something old.
the point of my long thread is
do u really happy with your life now?
are u happy with ur husband?
do u really LOVE him? do u feel ur children are a burden to u?
because i see that u're still very young and it's very understandable to feel caged or prisoned in what life u're living now.
and maybe, ur shopping habits comes from the "unhapiness" inside you.
and u need that fix to make u feel happy.
Seahorseinstripes: You make some really good points. I am not directing these comments to the original poster, only to myself. I think when I first came on the site, I was blown away by all the great bags and felt the need to own everything. But that was only a small part of the problem. The bottom line is that shopping can quickly become an obsession and if something is missing in your life, it can be a coping strategy (not a good one), to fill that void. I recognize this now and have tried to really reign in my spending. I still would buy a bag I really want, but I am alot more picky now and like you I have to start selling off things to make room for others. There is a limit to what one can use and store and I probably could have put a really good down payment on a condo for myself, with this money. I am not saying Iquaganda that this is why you are buying so many bags but it is something to think about.
My husband also gets annoyed when I mention yet another bag I want to get, or another pair of shoes. It's not about money, because I'm not spending any kind of real amounts, the most expensive bag I have by a long way was $270 and my most expensive shoes were $150. It's just that he really doesn't get the point of why I want different bags and shoes. He wears the same pair of shoes every day and carries the same bag to work until they break. I've tried explaining why I need black pumps in both flat, mid and high heels, why I need a small and a larger black bag, he just doesn't get it! But I also don't get the point of playing 6 different PS3 games that all seem to have the same music, same characters and same plot! Each game costs as least as much or more than a pair of my shoes, and he has waaaay more games than I have shoes.
But at the end of the day so long as our bills are paid and our savings/college funds are all in place then no damage is being done. We both reign the spending in when we need to, and so long as we are both open and honest about it then there's nothing to worry about.
But at the end of the day so long as our bills are paid and our savings/college funds are all in place then no damage is being done. We both reign the spending in when we need to, and so long as we are both open and honest about it then there's nothing to worry about.