Husband is obsessed with news & it’s driving me mad in quarantine

[bag-mania]

Perhaps during his next (phone) session with his therapist, I should sit in and possibly suggest it. My husband does not like being on meds, truthfully, and sometimes tells me he wants to decrease/stop being on them. But I think that would be a bad idea, especially nowadays.

If he is this obsessed while on his meds I can only imagine how bad it could get with a decreased dose or going without.

 

[limom]

I applaud you for finding a compromise with your mom, and I’m happy it works well for you guys.

I understand your suggestion, but my husband and I have many opposing views, so bringing up the news becomes a battleground. It is very hard for both sides not to get fired up and emotional, so talking about stuff will drag into many, many heated hours. This never works out well for us, which is why I would rather avoid it.

It’s not that I’m saying he shouldn’t read the news at all, but doing it for hours on end daily only feeds into his anxiety (instead of relieving it). And it does not impact our relationship in a positive way.

I am in the same exact situation with my husband. It can be so toxic.
So we agreed on not watching cable news together.
It is so much more peaceful.
He needs to have another person to talk to. Otherwise, you are both going to get too angry and fight to the point of no return.

 

[sparklebunny]

If he is this obsessed while on his meds I can only imagine how bad it could get with a decreased dose or going without.

Once he tried to get off his meds cold turkey (which you’re not supposed to do), and it was not pretty.

Honestly, in the big picture, my husband is a kind person and is very loving. But his biggest weak spots are his anxiety and fearfulness, and I’m not sure he’s aware of that.

 

[mrsinsyder]

My husband does not like being on meds, truthfully, and sometimes tells me he wants to decrease/stop being on them. But I think that would be a bad idea, especially nowadays.

I don't think anyone really likes it, but they really do make me feel so much better.

If I had an infection I'd take antibiotics, so I try to think of my mental health the same way!

 

[sparklebunny]

I am in the same exact situation with my husband. It can be so toxic.
So we agreed on not watching cable news together.
It is so much more peaceful.
He needs to have another person to talk to. Otherwise, you are both going to get too angry and fight to the point of no return.

Thank you so much, I’m really glad I’m not alone on this.

How did you and your husband reach an agreement on that? Do you ever find yourselves slipping back into touchy discussions?

 

[880]

your husband in my relationship. For me, excessively reading news oddly calms my anxiety about it. My husband brought it up and now I turn off CNN when he's in the common area

+1.
My DH and I feel the same way politically, so I am no help. But I do think cbbaggirl89’s suggestions above sound good. If not, TPF is always here for you and you can say, I will give you equal time to vent about politics if you give me equal time to talk about bags.

 

[880]

He needs to have another person to talk to. Otherwise, you are both going to get too angry and fight to the point of no return

This is perfect advice ! ^

 

[rutabaga]

This is perfect advice ! ^

Yes I agree, my husband will come home after a stressful day of work and want to talk about all the work things that happened that are dumb/stressful/make him mad. The last thing I want to talk about is what happened during a boring meeting or some nastygram e-mail he received, but I know that this is his way of venting frustration, like a pressure cooker letting off steam. It's best to talk these things out rather than let them fester into something larger. We usually do this while on our evening walk after work, so it's more of a listening activity that involves minimal talking. We are each other's therapy.

I do get upset when he insists on watching the news and then proceeds to yell at the TV. But I suppose he's also letting off steam and better that he yell at the TV than me, LOL

 

[880]

I don't think anyone really likes it, but they really do make me feel so much better.

Respectfully disagree Mrsinsyder when my DH found out he needed meds, he was thrilled there was an explanation for what he felt. He feels much better on the right meds. OP, maybe your husband needs a meds adjustment, or maybe he is feeling anxious bc, well a lot of us are anxious about current events right now. Having said that, I do vent to my girlfriends or on this forum, so pls remember, no matter what our politics may be, all of us here can listen to you vent about your DH
mrsinsyder and limom, very much enjoy reading your posts!

 

[limom]

Thank you so much, I’m really glad I’m not alone on this.

How did you and your husband reach an agreement on that? Do you ever find yourselves slipping back into touchy discussions?

We do get mad from time to time but he just gets up and go to his office. he just announces that he needs a break. His therapist suggested this tool.
In the morning, we watch Cozy TV.
We have been married forever but between 2016 and the quarantine. I swear!

 

[sparklebunny]

Yes I agree, my husband will come home after a stressful day of work and want to talk about all the work things that happened that are dumb/stressful/make him mad. The last thing I want to talk about is what happened during a boring meeting or some nastygram e-mail he received, but I know that this is his way of venting frustration, like a pressure cooker letting off steam. It's best to talk these things out rather than let them fester into something larger. We usually do this while on our evening walk after work, so it's more of a listening activity that involves minimal talking. We are each other's therapy.

In this instance, I’m definitely like your husband. When I was at work, I’d have some days that made me so upset and stressed out. Then I’d come home to vent, but then my own husband would get upset himself and ask me not to talk about it with him. I guess this is what they really mean when they say “Don’t take your work home with you.”

 

[sdkitty]

at our house neither of us is a news junkie but I get some news from TV and some from radio each day. he gets some online. certain topics we agree on (president) but many we don't so a lot of times I'll just ask him to stop talking about the subect

 

[sparklebunny]

OP, maybe your husband needs a meds adjustment, or maybe he is feeling anxious bc, well a lot of us are anxious about current events right now. Having said that, I do vent to my girlfriends or on this forum, so pls remember, no matter what our politics may be, all of us here can listen to you vent about your DH

Hi, yes, I 100% agree that there is a lot of anxiety in the air right now, and understandably so. There’s just too much going on and nearly everyone is being forced to deal with circumstances that are less than ideal. But for all of us and our loved ones, we’ve got to find healthy ways to cope.

Thanks for your support and for letting me talk. I’ve been feeling really alone lately, feeling like I’m going nuts. It’s much easier to vent here about my thoughts, being anonymous, rather than go to friends/family.

 

[sparklebunny]

We do get mad from time to time but he just gets up and go to his office. he just announces that he needs a break. His therapist suggested this tool.
In the morning, we watch Cozy TV.
We have been married forever but between 2016 and the quarantine. I swear!

Oh, I’ve been thinking of that channel lately! We haven’t watched it in ages but it would be an excellent distraction from reality: a reminder of pre-COVID times, LOL, and what life was before.

We should get better at retreating to different rooms when things get too heated up. I’m guilty of not being good at that.

I definitely feel you on 2016 to our quarantined present. My husband has already suggested that he move into our converted garage when November (the election) rolls around. *big, BIG sigh...*

 

[FashionForwardChick]

Oh, I’ve been thinking of that channel lately! We haven’t watched it in ages but it would be an excellent distraction from reality: a reminder of pre-COVID times, LOL, and what life was before.

We should get better at retreating to different rooms when things get too heated up. I’m guilty of not being good at that.

I definitely feel you on 2016 to our quarantined present. My husband has already suggested that he move into our converted garage when November (the election) rolls around. *big, BIG sigh...*

Are you guys Catholic? If so, and even if not so, I suggest turning to God. It's amazing what Jesus can do for you! You'll both be more at peace via prayer.