How you're perceivced vs. how you really are

  1. A thread in the Hermes forum got me thinking... I'm kind of replicating it here.

    Is the way people perceive you different than who you think you really are? Does this happen often? Rarely? How much does it have to do with your clothes or your handbags?
  2. Only fair to answer my own question!

    Unlike 90% of my girlfriends, I refuse to date a dumb man simply because he's attractive. I have a hyper-accomplished dad and best male friend who set the standard, so I've had my own share of older, intelligent, sometimes wealthy boyfriends. This has earned me the reputation of being a "gold-digger" which I think is laughable!
  3. People in high school always thought I was snotty or unapproachable and then were surprised by how nice I am when we finally had a conversation. I've had people say that a few times to me, but mostly I could just be shy with strangers. As far as expensive handbags go, I'm but an audience to you lovely ladies so far.
  4. Danica, you are sooooo sweet!!! I can't imagine anyone thinking you're unapproachable! I want to smoosh you in hugs. :heart:
  5. I don't know if this is still true, but when I was in high school and college I was told by friends that they had been very intimidated by me when we'd first met, and that I was aloof and a little unapproachable. I never knew where that was coming from. :shrugs:
    If you look at my senior yearbook from high school there's all these people saying "Oh, I was so scared of you when I first met you." I don't know if people still feel that way about me, and I never really got why. I'm not a very intense person, and I think what my friends saw as "aloof" was just me trying not to look foolish.
  6. My situation is simliar, only I have been with my boyfriend for over 6 years...and we've both had plenty of ups and downs. I admit I am a little spoiled and very fortunate being with my bf. I am doing and I have a lot more than what I ever imagined I would be doing/have in large part due to him. A lot of people that have just met us or know us casually think I am a gold digger and he is a drug dealer. just have to ignore the ignorance. However I know plenty of gold diggers and I used to pity the boyfriends, but it really takes two to tango!

    Everyone should have standards, but you should also replicate those standards if you expect them. My good friend says it best, "you can tell a lot about a person by the company they keep."

    I really don't care how I am perceived by others, b/c if they don't take the time to know me as a person and rather choose to assume, their opinions on me aren't worth getting upset about! :flowers:
  7. I got that a lot too ... and I think I still do to some extent.
  8. When I was in school many people perceived me as nerdy (I did always have my face firmly planted in a book) however I never studied or focused on homework. Outside of school I was always out drinking or doing your typical dumb highschool antics.

    Now many people see me as snobby or from a wealthy background. This comes mainly from the bags I carry. However the exact opposite is true. I come below the poverty line and dont really care for much else (in terms of labels/designers) aside from my bag collection.

    I also get the dumb blond label quite a bit. In fact I had a close friend (ok so I thought we were close) refer to me as a bimbo. However, I graduated top of my class and am well educated. Just because I have a giggling habit and am social does not mean I am stupid. Along with that lot of people that I come in contact with are taken aback by the fact that I have a serious interest in cars. They are shocked to hear that not only did I sell cars but I also worked in marketing.

    It doesnt help that I dont try to tell people otherwise. I have a silly attitude that when people think I am a certain way I dont try to prove them wrong. If people want to believe I am a certain way then so be it. I probably didnt want to be around them anyways. People that take the time to get to know the real me are worth investing my time in.
  9. I think people who like fashion are often seen as "snobs" because they tend to spend a little more on clothing than others. I'm often misunderstood. But that misunderstanding has gotten me places where the "true" nerdy me wouldn't have. :lol:

    As for boyfriends, I like intelligent men. I love models ... but I don't date them (not that I have models clamoring to date me!). But it's usually the more aggressive finance guys who approach me. It's not who I prefer ... but they tend to be pretty smart and we do ascribe to a similar worldly lifestyle. (FYI I am not dating someone in finance at the moment.)
  10. I think I'm perceived as a snob by some people. I'm generally friendly and polite to anyone who speaks to me, but because I carry nice bags and own nice jewelry, and generally don't care what people think about me, I'm a snob. I guess I might be a bit of snob, but only when someone is trying to "out-snob" me. If that makes sense! ;)
  11. 99.9 % people think i'm so intimidating and because I'm rather shy and quiet when I'm around people I don't makes me that much more unapproachable. Also since i'm quiet ( when I'm around unfamiliar people) people think i'm snobby or that I think I'm better than them or whatever...just because I'm not going up to people to introduce myself and being overly friendly.I usually don't go up to people and just randomly introduce myself and I don't like to be in your face kind person....unless i'm in a situation where i have at parties or something.

    Anyways when you do get to talk to me and I get to know you...I can be the biggest dork.I'm always laughing and I'm usually in a good mood...very optimistic person. Alot of my friends have told me that I'm actually quite deceiving...because at first sight I look like quiet bookworm..but i'm really not although I love to read and I really enjoy my quiet time too.
  12. I guess people at work percieve me as being prissy because of the handbags/shoes/clothes I wear.. They are so surprised that I go camping, go crabbing, paintball, softball etc. with them.. And usually I'm the only girl on the team that goes to these extra outside work events. I guess they're surprised that I actually can engage in some sports and that I'm not halfway bad.
  13. Of course all the while, wearing the perfect outfit :smile:
  14. I had a coworker who always resented me for growing up comfortably, while her family had to struggle for everything. She always looked down at me, behaving as though I was looking down at her (which I wasn't). She also assumed that I'd been handed a lot more in life than I had, and that I had taken my blessings for granted (also not true). I suspect she was so insecure about her own family and upbringing that she was automatically defensive and assumed the worst of anyone who had more advantages. I spent years thinking we were friends before realizing that her smile was fake and she totally resented me.
  15. Wow, i'mg JUST like that... to me, if someone really wants to have an invalid perception of me... that's their problem... i really don't try to explain how they're right or wrong.

    I've reflected on the way people think I am, the way i think i am, and the way i really am... and it's hard to reconcile all the "me"

    People tend to think i'm really driven and over-achieving... i tend to have self-esteem issues and think i can't do anything... and the real me is probably somewhere in the middle!!