I LOVE YOUR SOLUTION!!!! 
Do you get the DH to buy the bags? i think you should get him to buy the bags and the more grief the ILs give u, the more expensive the bag is...
LOL!!!
it should be a good incentive for him to keep them in check....
How to win over your SO's parents?
- Thread starter Irissy
- Start date
I LOVE YOUR SOLUTION!!!! Do you get the DH to buy the bags? i think you should get him to buy the bags and the more grief the ILs give u, the more expensive the bag is...
LOL!!!
it should be a good incentive for him to keep them in check....
Do you get the DH to buy the bags? i think you should get him to buy the bags and the more grief the ILs give u, the more expensive the bag is...
LOL!!!
it should be a good incentive for him to keep them in check....
He's actually pretty good at getting LVs--Xmas was a wallet, valentinte's day was agenda and ipod holder, mother's day bubble earrings....problem is is that lately things have been soooo bad that i've resorted to buying all kinds of crazy things on my own. Very bad, but my only means of coping right now...and by the way, I've read your posts and i think cautious is always good, you've given some good advice! I think I have been burned too many times to be optimistic. But I'll keep checking this thread for any ideas.
I am in the same boat, I know my SO´s parents quite well but it doesn´t go any further . I see them only together with my BF, and have superficial discussions. As activities we go to the restaurant, to some exhibitions, or just have dinner at their place. And I don´t think it needs to go any further, even if I am frustrated that I still have to say the polite "you" (in french) instead of the friendly"you" so many years on...
and I won´t do further bonding with my MIL as she is so close to my SO´s sister (her daughter).
If you really want to do things together pick smg you know you have in common, or at least not risky for your image. For me so far what has worked ( with many parents in law) is art stuff. In SO´s case, We both like art museums, exhibitions, and going hunting for treasures at fleamarkets.....the + side is they see me as a cultured person
, my main flaw I´m trying to hide is that I don´t cook ! So be yourself, and show your favorite side. When it comes to money they actually saw me as someone who would take care of their son´s budget ! he spends everything.....
and I won´t do further bonding with my MIL as she is so close to my SO´s sister (her daughter).
If you really want to do things together pick smg you know you have in common, or at least not risky for your image. For me so far what has worked ( with many parents in law) is art stuff. In SO´s case, We both like art museums, exhibitions, and going hunting for treasures at fleamarkets.....the + side is they see me as a cultured person
, my main flaw I´m trying to hide is that I don´t cook ! So be yourself, and show your favorite side. When it comes to money they actually saw me as someone who would take care of their son´s budget ! he spends everything.....
i think bringing back up the idea of her teaching you how to cook some of their ethnic foods is a GREAT way to get a little closer with them. it shows that you're interested in their culture and background, which lets them know that you're interested in their son in a more meaningful way than just as a BF. it also puts the mom in her comfort zone, where she's more likely to have positive feelings toward you.
good luck! it's important to have a good relationship with your SO's parents if you plan to get married - it will make the relationship a lot easier, particularly when grandkids are eventually involved.
good luck! it's important to have a good relationship with your SO's parents if you plan to get married - it will make the relationship a lot easier, particularly when grandkids are eventually involved.
It may be that there is a big cultural difference? In my own culture, just because a son has a girlfriend it doesn't amount to anything. Parents just turn a blind eye to the girlfriend and don't include her in any family affairs until she is married to the son and is a 'legal' member of the family. Until then any overtures by the girl to visit with the bf's family or take them out someplace or any attempt at socialization is considered "too forward" and a demostration that the girl is not a suitable partner for their son! Any friendliness towards the girl friend has to be initiated by the mother of the bf, and not the other way around. So not knowing the culture your bf comes from I can't make any suggestions.
We (SO, his parents and I) tried that once. That day SO's mom was miffed at his dad for some reason and she was all snippy at him throughout dinner. As SO said it felt like we were all having dinner at home, only we were eating restaurant food!
this is kinda the boat I'm in. I've tried really hard to get to know my SO's mom (dad is no longer around) and his sister. Mom (supposedly) likes me, sister hates me. I don't know what to do about her, but, I've tried and I will try no more. I'm done acting nice to a person that hates me, so, if we are to ever get married, she will just have to deal with me then!!
As for his mom...I think she knows I'm an important part of his life, but, unless marriage is going to be involved, I don't think she takes me too seriouslly either. I don't mind about that though, at least we can talk and have nice conversations!
treat their son well, be polite. don't try to force something, it might not be what they want. take it from me, some parents just don't want to be your best friend.
kinda hard to say unless I met them and know their personalities. the best way IMO is to treat your SO like a king. parents want their kids to be happy and if you make your guy happy, they will be happy.
My boyfriend's parents don't really speak English. I made them a cake and made some efforts to speak to them and vice versa. I also brought chocolates and port wine! I think the most important thing is to show that you are kind, thoughtful, and have their son's best interest in mind. Have good manners, too! That is very important. Maybe spend some extra time by suggesting a dinner with the four of you together.
