how to tell someone something uncomfortable?

  1. Because of our legal fees stacking up we had to take in a roommate to help with our mortgage.

    For some strange reason, he has a smell. Not like sweat but just a stale smell. Like something you have put in storage too long and just took it out. Kinda like at an old people's home. He has the top floor of our place (which is also the entrance of the house) so the second I walk in, I smell it right away. Yikes. It's not terrible like BO but it isn't a smell I would like in my house.

    He has his recliner in our living room and that smells just like him too (so I am figuring it is in his furniture too - room, etc...)

    What to do? There isn't anything I can say. I am already a freak with my hubby about being clean, for instance on our couch, there are "regular bed pillows" with pillowcases (that I can wash) on floor so if you want to nap, etc... I welcome it but please use that pillow so I can wash it. There is also a blanket with duvet there too so you can sweat, drool, whatever, I don't care but I can wash it afterwards. I find our roomie falling asleep on our couch all the time (which is welcomed) and I have hinted to use the "comfy pillows" but he hasn't yet. Is he going to stink up my couch and house?

    What to do? What to say? I'm afraid I'm stuck.... I know it is probably just something I am going to have to deal with now.
  2. Invest in several bottles of Febreeze?:blink: Maybe that will help.:yes:
  3. hmmm what if that's just his scent? I don't think he can change it.
    But there are those scented oils they sell at The Body Shop... When you burn it, the scents seep into furniture, carpet, etc etc. The SA there told me because it's oil, it sticks and can kill odors opposed to incense and candles which just "mask" the smell.... You might wanna try to burn that. I smoke a lot, but I hate the smell of smoke. So, when I burn the scented oil, even my non smoking guests can't even tell that I smoke when they walk in my apt. And the smell lasts for days.

    The scented oil costs about $7 (cranberry is my favorite) and the contraption to burn it in costs about $20-$30 but a great investment!!!!

    Good luck!
  4. mmm air freshener? i read about a similar problem in the ethics column in nytimes sunday magazine a couple of weeks ago. something about a landlord being hesitant to rent to someone of indian descent because of a strong smell from cooking indian food. the ethicist said that was discrimination.

    but in your case it's what to say...sorry i think you're right, there's nothing you can really do...
  5. I would try the advice of D&G so you have the nice scent of the candles/sticks and may be your room mate will pick up the smell;)
    I'm sorry to hear that you have a smelly tennant. But I would explain the blanket thing and that's a house rule to sleep on this. I actually love to have my pillow and blanket on my couch when I'm watching TV so I guess I would feel very at home at your place.
  6. yikes! I am imagining your situation, and this is a tough one...what to do...? Do you think he knows of this odor he is emitting? do you know why, is he unclean or is it something else? Perhaps he is ill? Diseases of the liver can cause a remarkably unbearable he in good health?
  7. I adore the oils from the Body Shop! My favorite scent is Satsuma which has a fresh, clean citrus scent. Even my husband has to grudgingly admit to liking it. When I burn it, you can literally smell it all the way out on our sidewalk and that is with all the windows and doors shut. It doesn't have an overpowering smell and it does cover up pretty much any odor.

    On another note-the smell could just be "his" scent. I dated a guy in high school that was totally awesome, but I could not get past his smell. Even cologne could not mask it. We'd go out and I'd go home smelling like him and it would almost make me sick! Some people just have a smell and unfortunately, you seem to have inherited one of the stinkier ones!:yucky:
  8. Oh no! Sorry N :/ If I were in that situation I seriously wouldnt know what to say to him. My friend went through something similar back in high school. His friend who would come over to his house all the time had really bad armpit BO. My friends mom even started to complain and told him he needed to tell his friend to do something about it. What does my friend do? While his friend is sitting at the computer he just sets down some deoderant by his hand and walks away without saying a word, lol.

    Maybe your guest cant help it? I know some people just have an odor about them that just leaks from their skin and its not really their fault. Maybe he has a condition?
  9. I am sure it is not his fault. I assume he showers regularly.

    Thanks everyone for your understanding. I will definitely try those oils from the Body Shop like D&G and Twinkie suggested. I am glad that you guys understand, I was wondering if I was making it an "issue" when it wasn't.

    Poor guy, thankfully, we have a screen sliding door on each floor so I try to hint that all should be open to get good ventilation! ;)

    Tanya, I am waiting for your visit. Lots of pillows and extra comforters on the couch ready for ya! :biggrin:
  10. man thats a toughie. I think I'd have to make something up like "we need the room for a sick relative" or something like that. I don't think I could live with someone like that because I have a very sensitive nose. Did you sign a contract with him?
  11. Yikes, that's a tough/awkward situation. Are you stuck with him for a long time? If so, perhaps you can buy one of those fitted sofa covers that you can have on the couch all the time. I've seen some nice ones in catalogs, and I'm sure you can also use a big throw or something cheaper as well. Then you can wash it whenever you want. Good luck! And yes, keep the fresh air flowing :amuse:.
  12. how about an annoymous letter in the mail? suggesting the problem if he works it can be even better because he can think it came form there, make it look professional and type it up?
  13. I tend to be straight forward w/ people...Maybe you could just come out and say, "What crawled up your a** and died?" or "Holy mother of God you wreak, dude!" Anything along those lines would take care of the situation I think. :smile:
  14. Honestly that is such a ahrd situation I don't know what I would do. But you DO have to live there so I think you need to approach the uncomfort and ask him.

    A similar example, I had a friend I worked with a while back- who smelled- I mean worst BO ever. I nearly gagged one day. So I told him, in the nicest way I could "I don't mean to be rude, but are you aware that you kinda have some BO?" He looked at me and said "Yea, I don't care really. I don't wear deodarant". Ha. So it could be that it is his way, or he may not know...

    Maybe you could approach it kinda twisted- say something like, we have noticed a smell from upstairs, did we not clean the apt ok? That is what I would do- it is backward and not straightforward, but it could work... kinda! Good luck with that!!!
  15. I love those also! I think the best scent for just casual everyday is Fruity Violet. It is a great great smell. Whenever I am at a Body Shop outlet I always stock up on all my fav scents. They are all usually half price!!