How to tell if it's the situation or the depression making you unhappy?

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  1. Hey ya all,

    i'm in a rutty situation right now... and i'm not happy to unhappy... I have thought of walkng away from this situation. firstly i don't know if i have the guts because there will be huge implications for the rest of my career if i walk away from this thing....

    while i can rationalize why i'm upset and not happy about this situation, i don't know if i'm actually unhappy or if it's the depression..... i've been off medication for awhile (another story...)

    those of you that deal with depression, when you were unhappy about work,school,some situation (non relationship based), how did you figure out what to do and if you were really unhappy or if it was your depression talking??

    I'm so torn and trying to figure all this out in the next few days... i don't know much time....

    Thanks Bubbles
  2. Great question, Bubbles. In my case I always knew I had a tendency to see the negative, to isolate, to go over and over in my mind about things that bothered me. I never felt it was serious enough to seek help, though I'd had therapy previously. It was a situation that pushed me over the edge--I was treated badly by loved ones in a very public manner and I went into a deep depression. Classic signs like crying a lot, not wanting to get out of bed, not wanting to eat, a black cloud over everything in my life, extreme fatigue.

    So I had the tendency but coped, then something specific happened and I was no longer capable of handling the depth of depression on my own.

    that probably doesn't help answer your question, but I just wanted to tell you what my experience was.

    BTW, your mailbox is full!
  3. Have you felt this way longer than 6 months?
    Have you noticed a decrease is things you like, friends, work, shopping, exercise?
    Do you have a family history of depression?
    Are you feeling like sleeping more, or waking super early in the am not able to go back to sleep?
    Have you started or thought about using drugs or alcohol to numb out?
    Are you unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel?
    Are you more irritable, snappy?
    Have you noticed your memory and attention span is not as sharp as usual?
  4. Hey boxermom,

    i was crying in the library and sending Pms earlier and i was so out of it that i didn't realize my mailbox was full but i've emptied it now:p

    Thanks for sharing. I know what you're saying and i'm very much like that as well. I tend to see the negative side... and it was a situation at my first job that really made me see a therapist to hel pcope with the stress and anxiety becase they treated me VERY VERY badly and essentially harassed me.

    I identify with the things you mention. i just want to hide in bed but i get up because i kn ow i have to. so i'm coping and getting things done in that sense but there is this cloud lingering over and it all seems gloomy...

    I'm just wondering if i'm upset about my situation now because i'm actually and really upset about it or if it's the depression making it worse than it seems.... and it makes things a little more complicated because i've been off therapy for awhile given my move and i ran out of meds recently and couldn't get it refilled (another story).

    even if i start taking the meds again today, it'll take 3-4 weeks to see if i'm doing better. and i don't have that time with the situation ....

    I also JUST realized a few minutes ago that i think i'm PMSing... i was the same way a few weeks ago and i was PMSing then too i think...

    it's just so hard to make these difficult decisions when you can't figure out if you really are unhappy or if your head is playing tricks with you :cursing: I mean i don't want to do anything drastic only to later find out, Oh actually i could have coped with this. i was just out of medication! :confused1:

    BTW I spoke to my dad earlier. i started off by saying i was frustrated and some of the things i was doing were useless and didn't make sense. and he said, well sometimes you just have to do it even if it doesn't make sense because someone else makes the rules.... and then i was like, yeah that doesn't sound that difficult....

    i don't know. maybe i'm just depressed, stressed, PMSING, sick and sleep deprived...

    I'm goign to sleep soon and hopefully things will seem less miserable in the next 2 days..... hope you're friday night is going well boxermom. movie at home and tpf perhaps?:graucho: :heart:bubbles
  5. Hey Irishgal,

    I have alot of yeses to the qns below. LOL. i don't see any light ... just one big long tunnel. the last year , everything has gone wrong and i feel that's just going to continue.

    I know i have that depression cloud over my head and I'm just wondering how to separate the depression from any actual feelings of being upset and from the Pmsing... i just realized that i am very likely PMSing as well... it makes things a little more complicated because i haven't had access to therapy for awhile and i ran out of meds recently as i had to relocate temporarily.

    I'm upset about my current situation and i'm just trying to figure out what i do and I'm trying not to do anything drastic if it's the depression talking vs, how i actually feel.

    I probably can't get meds for another 2 weeks and even then it'll take another 3-4 weeks for it to start to work... i guess i'll know then.... but i need to make some decision soon though

    in the meanwhile i'm trying to cope. but some days like today just feel so miserable and i question what on earth i'm doing and WHY i'm doing this.... it makes me think about walking away.

    is there anyway to separate what's the depression and how you actually feel other than waiting for the drugs to kick in which will probably be 6 weeks for now?

    thanks Irishgal

  6. Well, you know yourself best. I would suggest that you try to find someone, could be a very good friend who has the ability to really listen and give you feedback, not just what you want to hear, but the truth, or a therapist, clergy, parent, friends parent, etc. It sounds like you are feeling pretty hopeless and helpless which is of concern, to be honest. I don't know what you are involved in that is making you miserable, but the only way you will find out if it is just the situation is to remove yourself from the situation and see what happens. Can I help you in any way?