Workplace How to keep faith that what goes around comes around ... at work

TravelBug

TravelBug

O.G.
Feb 17, 2006
2,301
235
#1
Background - I've worked in the corporate world for my entire career. I'd been very fortunate to have great managers, mentors and role models up until a few years ago. I have a great reputation at work that I've worked hard on building and maintaining. I can say I am an honest hard working person who focuses on letting my own work/results speak for my reputation.

What changed was our division went through quite a bit of turmoils with bad management and they brought in a whole brand new team. Long story short, I got stabbed in the back by someone I hired, trained, mentored and trusted. As we went through trickled-down management changes, I was isolated and frankly 'kicked while down' dealing with personnel changes made hastily by upper management - my own team was told (by this person) to stop having 1:1 interactions with me while confusion w/r/t reporting structure lingered. I know the person had spoken ill of me in front of our new manager (the manager asked one of my colleagues if anybody would have a problem working for me, out of the blue). The person is a master of @ss-kissing AND back-stabbing with a great disguise with their southern charms. They are also very good at grabbing and building 'corporate estate' by building up a team that delivers very little but has a glossy/fancy job description. The new boss is head over heels and the person just got a promotion.

I'd like to think this kind of charade can't be kept for too long and that people like myself who truly focus on the work will be rewarded (although I've lost faith in the new boss having the ability to see through the smoke and screens). It sure is hard at times to keep the faith, especially this has felt like a personal betrayal at work. What is everyone else's experience if you've either personally or seen others dealt with this kind of events at work? Is it really what goes around comes around?!?

Thanks.
 
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#2
Sorry for the negative outlook but I wouldn't count on karma working that way in an office/professional setting. In my experience, always look out for yourself because there is no guarantee anyone else will.

That your boss has bought into this person's charade is a huge hurdle. Unless the person slips up big time in front of boss, it's highly unlikely boss will suddenly "see the light" and rectify how you are/have been treated.

I don't know how long you can take the situation so it might be worthwhile to polish up your resume and start looking for something new. Best wishes.
 
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#3
i too believe in karma, but sometimes it'll come around to someone in a form you won't even see. just because someone is evil at work, for instance, doesn't mean they'll suffer bad karma at work, it might happen in their personal/home life or someplace you'll never know about. so wishing for that is fine, i've had those thoughts about others too, but it really does foster negative energy in you and leaves you suffering far more than the other person ever will. the sooner you can move beyond what happened and the retaliatory/karma-will-get-you thinking the better off you'll be at work. you'll never know why people do things and just have to rise above and get back on your own path. perhaps a transfer to a new department or something could ease the difficulty of seeing the people day-to-day. i think many of us have had work difficulties similar to this, and you have to just work through it. people come with varying personalities and some aren't as awesome as others.
 
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#5
I absolutely agree with redney: don't expect karma to solve your problem at work, because it usually doesn't come around. Better to walk away rather than remain mired in negativity, constantly hoping someone gets their comeuppance. So if I were you, I would take that hard-earned reputation (before it gets tarnished) and parlay it into a new job.
 
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#6
Hi ladies, thank you very much for your replies.

I won't go into details here but actually I won't be working in the same environment with this person for long, and I will get to carry my reputation and continue to work with folks who value what I bring to work. The reason why I am telling myself to keep faith that what goes around comes around is to try to rise above what happened to me personally. I refuse to play into the same game and to me, part of letting it go is to say 'hey, let karma work its way so this person won't do this to others'. I've worked for many years and dealt with all kinds of personalities with ups and downs in the corporate world, but this time it was the most personal because it was someone I hired, trained and mentored. I do have to admit I saw through their games really early on but had no reasons to believe they'd do what they did to me. Lessons learned.
 
#7
Try not to worry about what this person says or does. You are emotionally invested in them. Stop being interested in the person. Help yourself and help the company. Let the person go. They are not worth your mental bandwidth.

Was the company helped by your training this person? Did you benefit in any way? Did you learn something or develop a skill that you could put on your resume? Think about what the relationship did for YOU professionally. Let the personal stuff go.

In the future, if you choose to help someone at work, do it for yourself and the company. I'm sure that what you did helped more than just that person, and if others in the company were happy with them, then you did those people a service too. Maybe. At least you might have enabled their happiness for awhile.

Don't worry about karma. Figure out how to play the game in a way that serves you and the company.

One of the things that is said about charity is that it is more meaningful or valuable when you do it anonymously and expect nothing in return. Expect nothing. Give freely. If you're duped, learn from it. But don't want bad things for the other person or people. Trust that things will work out for YOU.

One last thought: People can change. Just don't expect them to. Enemies become friends. Friends become enemies. I have had people yell at me and later thank me for helping make their dreams come true. Nothing surprises me anymore. No expectations.

You'll figure out how to make this work for you. In the meantime, brush up your linkedin profile, add a new pic, add some new details and selling points to your resume, look for some dream jobs on the web. This will make you feel better, especially when you start getting emails from recruiters. Do a fun project at home. Practice turning work thoughts off in your head and replacing them with daily gratitudes about nature or family. It's Spring! Don't let this person take one more minute of happiness away from you. You are not at their mercy. Own your own career and happiness, and let them be happy or miserable or whatever they want to be.

You can be charming too. If I can do it, you can do it. And it doesn't have to be a game. It can be genuine.

Sorry for rambling.
 
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#9
I'm going to throw gender into the mix here. OP hopes her good work and reputation are recognized. That's a passive approach and a very female reaction. Successful men don't do this. Read up on how genders approach this problem and start looking for a new job. No matter how much you want to see karma happen, the best revenge is quitting and leaving for a better job where you're valued.
 
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#10
restricter said:
I'm going to throw gender into the mix here. OP hopes her good work and reputation are recognized. That's a passive approach and a very female reaction. Successful men don't do this. Read up on how genders approach this problem and start looking for a new job. No matter how much you want to see karma happen, the best revenge is quitting and leaving for a better job where you're valued.
Click to expand...

I would like to hear more about this. Can you tell us some things to google?
 
#11
Jesssh said:
I would like to hear more about this. Can you tell us some things to google?
Click to expand...

“It runs contrary to everything I ever say to anyone in business,” says longtime coach Ellis Chase, 67, who coaches at Columbia Business School and is the author of In Search of the Fun-Forever Job: Career Strategies That Work.”One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to assume that being productive, smart and working like a dog is going to get you recognition and compensation which of course is not true for anyone.” He adds, “Years ago a boss told me, ‘It doesn’t matter if you come in two hours before anyone else because no one sees you.’” While both genders should advocate for themselves and ask for raises, the coaches all agree that women find it more challenging to ask for raises than do men.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/susanadams/2014/10/16/how-women-should-ask-for-a-raise/#4a1aa8635f64

http://www.womendontask.com/questions.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/judith-humphrey/women-should-speak-up-and_b_6063046.html
 
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#14
TravelBug said:
Background - I've worked in the corporate world for my entire career. I'd been very fortunate to have great managers, mentors and role models up until a few years ago. I have a great reputation at work that I've worked hard on building and maintaining. I can say I am an honest hard working person who focuses on letting my own work/results speak for my reputation.

What changed was our division went through quite a bit of turmoils with bad management and they brought in a whole brand new team. Long story short, I got stabbed in the back by someone I hired, trained, mentored and trusted. As we went through trickled-down management changes, I was isolated and frankly 'kicked while down' dealing with personnel changes made hastily by upper management - my own team was told (by this person) to stop having 1:1 interactions with me while confusion w/r/t reporting structure lingered. I know the person had spoken ill of me in front of our new manager (the manager asked one of my colleagues if anybody would have a problem working for me, out of the blue). The person is a master of @ss-kissing AND back-stabbing with a great disguise with their southern charms. They are also very good at grabbing and building 'corporate estate' by building up a team that delivers very little but has a glossy/fancy job description. The new boss is head over heels and the person just got a promotion.

I'd like to think this kind of charade can't be kept for too long and that people like myself who truly focus on the work will be rewarded (although I've lost faith in the new boss having the ability to see through the smoke and screens). It sure is hard at times to keep the faith, especially this has felt like a personal betrayal at work. What is everyone else's experience if you've either personally or seen others dealt with this kind of events at work? Is it really what goes around comes around?!?

Thanks.
Click to expand...
I've experienced this multiple times and the last time almost destroyed my career. There are few things to consider.

Always work to build good relationships with as many people as possible. Then even if someone betrays you, others are there to support your during the tough times. Also don't open the door for people to take advantage such as allowing them to connect to you via FB.

Take time to read as many books on office politics as possible, then at least you'll have awareness of what others may do. Even if management is bad, just provide neutral responses such as: "Change happens we have to be patient" or 'Let's work along with management to support change." then change the subject.

Some people are very good empire builders, eventually however, they are usually exposed, it might take years before they are exposed. What you can be assured of is along the way, they've burned bridges with not only you but loads of other people. So once their empire crashes, they have little options.

Birds of a feather flock together or like-kind attracts like-kind. People who are untrustworthy usually partner with the same types of people or seek followers. Observe, remain professionally friendly and build your own support structure. Interestingly enough, many of the people who form groups at work, trashing others also trash each other when they no longer work together.

In my experience, empire builders usually have a crash. While they are empire building, others notice as well and share that information around. Recently I was approached by a industry peer who shared that while looking at a new home, he learnt the seller's wife worked with someone in our industry. The seller proceeded to share how awful that person was, how his wife was treated and how dishonest that person was. I was asked about my working experience and agreed with what he'd been told. The problem person did crash and while he landed another job, he crashed out of that job also. Now it is clear that he is a problem and it's been spread far and wide and he is not trusted. Tolerated yes, but not trusted.

As I mentioned at the outset, I worked with a group of very hateful people who tried to destroy my career. I had to endure fairly heinous lies, however, what helped were the relationships I'd built for years with others. Additionally, those people confirmed that the behavior from this group was ongoing. All of the people involved no longer work together, some have moved out of the state because they were not qualified for their jobs. Another has burned through a new job. Me, I've been VERY successful without becoming like them.
 
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#15
another one agreeing that karma doesn't work at a work environment...most of them thrive.
i recalled one time i had a conversation with an acquaintance that work r/s is not a personal r/s...we only need to get what we need out of the work experience and bring it with us to the next job/level, of course abiding the law and integrity...if things don't work out, just move on to the next.
 
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